Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The loneliness began to set in right around this time. Business trips are always busy busy until it's bed time and then you realize how alone you are. I missed Big A and Mr. Fresh. It was far too quiet in my room. Lucky for me that all changed.
I spent most of the night fighting with the air conditioner that kept kicking on and waking me up. At around 3 AM I finally got the damn thing to turn off. However, for my luck, that was too easy. At around 4 AM the loud sounds of honking woke me up as I saw reflections of red lights flashing in my window. Yep. The fire trucks were here. Then the announcements came that there was no fire, not to panic, it was just the fire alarms re-setting because the entire city had lost power. GREAT!
This went on for quite some time. I went in and out of sleep during this. Lucky for me, all this excitement made it's way into my dreams. Leaving me incredibly confused as to what was reality and what was my imagination when I finally peeled my tired bottom out of bed this morning. I thought I had taken a picture of all the commotion, but that apparently was part of the dream. I should have figured when I thought it involved a fireman right outside my window on the 11th floor and my brother standing next to me while I was taking it. Last time I checked, my brother was NOT in Cleveland.
We were all rewarded with a free breakfast for going through our ordeal. News flash: I'm on a business trip. All meals are free to me anyway. Then I later found out that it was only because they couldn't get their systems up and it was just easier for them to make it all free. So...in all reality they weren't really being that nice.
There's always one night that I sleep like crap when I'm away, so hopefully tonight was that night. I'm not quite sure that I can function tomorrow through my meeting and then traveling home if I don't get some shut eye. UG. Here's to hoping the rest of this trip is a little less exciting. I've been taking picture of my travels, so I can post those when I get home. For now, I'm late to my meeting so I gotta fun. Adios friends!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I’m sitting at the
If I was really that bright I would have noticed this before yesterday. I began to panic about what I would do to fill my time and decided that I would just pick up a book when I went grocery shopping. They have a big book selection so it shouldn’t be a problem. Oh wait…what’s that? My evil grocery store has decided to switch around all of their aisles which diminished their book selection to three small shelves. One being taken over completely by teeny bopper books. One by unrealistic romance novels that cost $6, waste countless hours of your life, and leave you with nothing in return. (Side note: I told Big A that I could write 350 pages of bullshit that did nothing to affect peoples’ lives and I could be a famous novelist too! He agreed that this was possible) And the last being taken up by most of those Twilight books everyone is obsessed about and a few political outlook books. Once again…FAIL!
So I grabbed one of those little books with all those fun puzzles to do and figured that would keep me occupied. Unfortunately, I forgot that I hate most of the puzzles and spent most of my time trying to find ONE that I actually wanted to do. On the other hand I did meet a very nice fellow who chatted with me for most of the flight. Then was slightly amused by the look of terror on my face as we wobbled down what I think was the runway and hit the ground without being able to see it due to fog, rain, etc. Ya. It was fun.
I figured once I got off the plane that I would grab myself a tasty bite to eat and then spend a couple of hours screwing around on the internet. Unfortunately, although my computer says that I am connected to a “network” I’m lacking the technological capabilities to figure out why my AIM and Internet Explorer won’t work. So…this post will be put up later than actually written. That is if I can figure out what voodoo my company put on my computer to make it only be able to hook up to the internet at work. Maybe they know me too well and figured they would limit my access pass where their watchful eyes can monitor. I wouldn’t blame them.
As you probably figured, I’m away on yet another business trip. In my interview, they mentioned travel and I imagined myself jet-setting all over the place. Being a woman of the world. Unfortunately, I forgot my hatred of traveling (especially on airplanes) and that I would really only be traveling to the wonderful state of
(Another side note: a gigantic group of people just stood up from the seats at the gate and all walked away quickly in the same direction…no where near where their gate is. I’m hoping I didn’t miss some important announcement while I was being whisked away into my fantasy world of writing. And now my computer is telling me it is finally connected to the internet…however nothings work. I’m pretty sure it’s taunting me)
This is a quick little trip. Just a couple of days in
For now, I finally figured out the problem with my computer. Writer extraordinaire and technological genius. Yep that’s me. Ta ta for now friends. I’ll keep you updated on all of the craziness that comes about over the next few days!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
(Sorry for the sideways, I can't get it to rotate)
So, that's the beginning of my apartment makeover. I figure I'll go room by room until everything is perfect. I figure I will be done by the time that we are ready to move out. That will be my luck! One down, three to go!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Unfortunately, some things are too good to be true. It didn't work out. The landlord needed us to move faster then we could and he found someone who would work with his time frame. I was mad. I was pissed. I threw a mini temper-tantrum. I got over it. The man needs the money. I would be upset if I had property that wasn't bringing anything in. It just wasn't mean to be. There's obviously something bigger and better our there for us. Mr. Fresh agrees too. He's very rational about these things.
So now what? My need for something new, something different is now gone. So...lucky for Big A...I'm still going to redecorate. I'm bored. I need something. Its pathetic. I know. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Onto new things: next week I'm heading out to Cleveland. I have a staff meeting that I have to attend. I'm not a huge fan of flying, but part of the agenda is going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. So, I guess it won't be too bad. It could be worse. Although I am thinking that they need to open an office in California, or Vegas, or hell even New York. Somewhere exciting. It's not going too well, but I won't give up. Some day. Dream big.
Alright, my lame post is over with for now. I'm lacking the excitement in my life to have anything of merit to share. I'm off to the wonderful world of Lifetime movies. I'm getting into this movie called The 19th Wife. A lot more interesting than I thought. I don't really know what's going on yet, but I'm pretty sure that if my husband had over 23 wives that I would eventually end up killing him too. Just an opinion.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I LOVE Fall! The cold crisp hair, the comfy sweaters and sweatshirts, cuddling underneath blankets, bon fires, fresh air, the leaves changing. I am digging Fall. I don't remember if I have always been this enthusiastic about this season, but this year I am in love. It also doesn't hurt that although my birthday is December 20th (get thinking of gift ideas! haha) it is technically in the Fall (by a day, how lame is that). So, the countdown is on!
Today is one of my favorite types of days. It's sunny out, so we haven't entered arctic territory but there is a crispness in the air. LOVE IT! Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed my summer. I was thrilled that we actually got one this year, sans the 40 days of rain we got last year. However, sometimes it was too damn hot. Big A, Mr. Fresh, and I found ourselves most nights laying in puddles fighting over the tiny fan that we have. I had many threats that the AC was going in, but we made it through (with a small electric bill each month due to my stubbornness and persuasive arguments). Unfortunately, now we are upon the heating season.
Where I work, the heating season is a big deal. If you know where I work, you will understand that. We are working to make sure our customers stay warm and happy, but all I can think about is the ridiculous electric bill that will follow. If it's anything like last year, you all can say by to Big and me for the Winter, we won't have money to go out. There's this apartment open in our building that is all one floor (minus the loft I thought was AMAZING that we haven't used in months, but still adds to the heating bill) and has gas heat. Plus it has washer and dryer hook-ups. PLUS one of the bedrooms has a walk-in closet. Originally when the old tenants were moving out, Big A and I were going to swipe it up. Unfortunately, their plans got put on hold for a couple months and we decided that the next time we move it will be into our own house. Now the apartment is vacant and I am DYING to move in. Our plan makes sense, but I would rather be more comfortable NOW and then move. It doesn't help that to earn some extra cash my landlord is paying me to clean it and I am walking through it going:
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
It's been a crazy few days. I'm sure I talked before about the fact that in my job it's feast or famine. There is no in between. I mean I am sure that when I have a bunch of stuff to do I could put some of it off for the next day, but we all know that I am far too anal for that. I do my best, but seriously, I just can't.
The past few days have been some catching up on weekend e-mails, working on planning some meetings, and the start of a two day "meeting" today. I put that word in quotations because today was far from a meeting. We started off the day with some lunch (I did go to work for the normal hours in the morning, I met everyone for lunch...I'm not a slacker) and the broke up into groups for a scavenger hunt. Ya. I've been here four months, it's about time that everyone realizes just how competitive I can be. We had to follow clues around and take "creative" pictures and then run around everywhere hoping to beat the other teams in time and "creativeness". My team won of course. I talk a lot of big game, so it's always exciting when I actually have something to follow it up. Then we relaxed for a little bit, had cocktail hour (did I mention I LOVE my job), had some dinner, and then it was on to....CASINO NIGHT.
They had Texas Hold'em, Black Jack, and Craps. I played some Black Jack, but left for the explanation of how to play Craps and never got back in. I was winning like crazy in the practice games and then some guy took my seat and was winning....short story long I refused to go back unless I got MY seat. Unfortunately, since he kept winning he didn't get up. I played Craps for a bit, but it got a little boring so I went onto Poker. I was doing well for awhile, but as the minutes ticked by I was realizing that either A) I could continue to play smart, win some money, and get to go up for the prizes, but I had found out what they were earlier and as much as I really wanted them, it wasn't a big deal OR B) I could go all in on a stupid hand and get to go home...by the time mark on this post I'm sure you know my choice.
So now I am home. I'm exhausted. My entire body hurts from more exercise in one day than I think I have had in the last year, and I get to wake up extra early tomorrow to go back for the meeting. Unfortunately, my entire job description does not consist of scavenger hunts, free drinks and food, and gambling. I'm still working on it, but it might be tough.
Luckily, after tomorrow, my days turn back pretty normal. I've got some crazy busy, non-fun, work/non-work stuff in the near future, but I doubt I will post about it. I'm still getting used to this whole airing my dirty laundry for the whole world to see. I'm still just hanging up my nice, pretty, underpants. I'm sure eventually something will happen that I will slap up my good 'ole Granny Panties, but for now...I don't think I'm ready. Who knows though.
So...wicked boring, pointless post. I get it. But, it's better than nothing I suppose. Adios my friends. Until another day...hopefully with a better story.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
- We start with a giant ball of anxiety building in my chest.
- Next comes the nausea. I would like to vomit on my shoes. Or preferably the dentist's shoes.
- Then comes actually going to the dentist. I sit in the waiting room. Anxiety continues to grow until I am on the verge of a full blown panic attack.
- Just when my instincts are about to tell me to run for the hills (resulting in me running out of the waiting room like a crazy person - yes it's happened) they call my name.
- I enter the room and sit in the chair of doom.
- I think to myself that the dentist is a sadist. I then envision stabbing him with one of his own tools.
- Dentist begins work. Tears well in eyes.
- Follow with full blown tears.
- Ego bruised due to the fact that I am a grown woman crying at the dentist.
- Dentist finishes torture 3 million years later. 10 years of my life have been taken away due to stress.
- I leave office, still crying, get in my car and think about how I will never go to the dentist again as I chain smoke on my way home.
- Numbness causes drooling and other embarrassing socially unacceptable behavior.
- Numbness wears off leave intense pain.
- I plot ways to get even with dentist.
- I give up plans to get even with dentist because it involves entering a dentist's office.
- Ego bruised even more.
Sounds like a blast huh? I'm really looking forward. This time I am going to a new dentist that specializes in weenies like me. Their whole marketing plan is to let you know that "your comfort is their top priority". Maybe I can get them to give me some of that laughing gas stuff. I sneakily picked a dentist right near where Big A works so he can come and save me if need be. He doesn't know this yet, but I'll send him a quick text of my whereabouts. Wish me luck. I'm already on step 1 and I have two glorious hours to sit and want to vomit until my appointment.
I'm a big baby. Yes I know that. Easy for you to say though. Are YOU going to the dentist today? Didn't think so. Bah Humbug!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I'm sure you have figured out by now that I have. Yep. I know, perfect me making a mistake? Shocking! But, my blogger friends and family...this is true.
I know I have mentioned before that I am as stubborn as a mule. My mother would say I get it from my father. My father would say I get it from my mother. It's a merry-go-round of blame, but I'm pretty sure I take it to the next level. If I dig my heels in hard enough it's hard for me to turn it all around. I recently became aware of a situation where I was doing just that. It was a little battle that I had been fighting for a few months. Hurt, confused, pissed off, and worst of all sad; I had made up my mind to just give the whole thing up and deal with the consequences. Unfortunately, the consequences were worse than the fight. A fight that I learned that I was fighting by myself. Lame I know.
I let a good friend of mine go because I was too much of a brat to actually say how I felt. I had made my mind up about how they felt and that just fueled my fire. I can deal with being mad. With people pissing me off. I have a hard time dealing with being hurt. It hits my automatic button that tells my brain to shut down all emotions other than uber-bitch. It's really pleasant. Once, I get into this mode it's hard to stop it. I feel like it's my way of protecting myself, but it's really my way of ruining my ability to have relationships with people. Enter the counterproductive part.
Today was different. I was reminded of a good time with this friend and all of a sudden I felt like I was Alice slipping down the rabbit hole. Falling rapidly into the dark abyss not knowing how, or when, or if I could ever get back. This was it. I had made my bed and it was time to lie in it. I had pushed this person so far away that I made it impossible for them to come back. I mean come one, would you want to cross the line of fire just to be greeted by monster? Ya...didn't think so. I started feeling sad as you do when you lose someone. Whether they die or you don't see them anymore, there is still that feeling of grief from the loss. It was then that I came to realization that things didn't have to be like this. That this didn't have to be my reality. The bottom of the rabbit hole didn't need to be this scary world. If I create it to be this horrific land of hurt, confusion, and emotional monsters hiding behind every corner then that's what would be waiting for me.
The good thing about my stubbornness, is that I refuse to let myself stick in situations, mind-sets, etc. that I don't want to be in. I REFUSE to let myself sink to rock bottom (although I know I've been close). So, in one of the few rare occasions my stubbornness came in handy. I picked up the phone and slowly, but surely it all spilled out.
I'm happy to say that this time it worked out in my favor. A heavy hold is off my heart and I feel better than I have in a long time. I know that this won't be the outcome of all situations. That sometimes in trying to protect myself I can hurt others as I feel they hurt me. The age old saying: two wrongs don't make a right comes flashing through my mind. Treat others how you want to be treated. Easier said than done sometimes, but good words to live by.
However, if it really were that easy then what would I write about? I mean this is supposed to be about a twenty-something girl trying to figure out this crazy thing called life. Every cloud has a silver lining? Every stubborn ass situation makes for a good writing prompt.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
We kept it pretty low key on Sunday night. We had big plans to head out to a bonfire, but our couches got the best of us and we ended up just staying in. It was a long day! Plus driving 30-40 minutes there and back on a holiday weekend didn't seem like the most fun idea in the world. Call us lame, but Big A and I woke up in our own beds (not a jail cell) and neither one of us got a speeding ticket. I'd say all in all...that's a pretty good night.
Monday was beautiful!!! A little chilly, but no biggie. Big A and I went out for a ride in his car. We drove all the way up to Mount Wachusett only to find out that the summit road is closed until 2011. Awesome right? I mean who else would that happen to? Nope...just us. So we went the long(er) way back home. It was nice. We haven't really been out in the car a lot this Spring/Summer. Just a couple quick trips around town, but we haven't gone for a long drive since...Memorial Day? Fourth of July? I dunno...it was some long weekend.
Then we sauntered our way over to J$ and RD's house with Mr. Fresh for some good old fashioned BBQ and drankin' (FYI the only thing Mr. Fresh drank was pool water...not beer. And that resulted in him throwing up...which I thought would teach him a lesson, but it didn't...I'm gonna be a great Mom!). Some other friends came over and I was introduced to this game called Bocci ball (I think I spelled that right). It was quite the interesting game. Once we tied up Mr. Fresh so he stopped trying to steal the balls (and people realized that they can't throw the balls near him or he will steal them) it turned out to be a pretty fun game. Big A and I were far from winners, but we had fun playing. That's all that matters! (OK, not it isn't I wish we could have won because I'm the most competitive person in the world, but I don't think Big A was taking it seriously...remember how we talked about how I was learning to let some things go? Case in point: I do not need to get upset with Big A because he isn't putting his ALL into a silly game. Look how grown up I am!!!) We played some card games too, but then it was time to head on home. L was coming over and we watched our shows. We were pretty lame on the wine because we were both uber tired, but whatcha gonna do?
Now today...back to work as usual. GOODY! UG! I asked Big A last night why he hasn't won the lottery yet so that I could quit my job and be a stay at home pseudo-housewife. He said he's working on it. Today is "one of those days". The pointless question days. The rude phone call days. The "I can't say your name right to save my life even though you have told me it a million times days. The "I know you have faxed this twelve thousand times, but I still haven't received it" days. One of those days where you know that if there is a higher power up there watching down on us, they must be pretty bored because obviously this is all for their amusement. And as my blood begins to boil, I have to remind myself...I need my job, I need to pay bills, I can not go to jail for going postal on random strangers. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. It's one of those "if I had alcohol hidden in my desk and I could drink it without getting caught I would" days. At least I can take comfort in the fact that it's almost over. That a giant jug of wine if waiting for me when I get home. And tomorrow the ice cream man is coming to work to feed us sundaes so obviously tomorrow will at least be a little bit better.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
This morning, I made my usual coffee (with a little kick of vanilla extract & cinnamon - try it, it's delicious) and then baked some delicious cinnamon buns (yep, enter Mr. Fresh here). I've spent the past couple hours in complete solitude. Listening to the sound of the cars driving by, the wind rustling the trees. It's been peaceful. It's been a great weekend overall so far.
Yesterday, Pickles and I drove up with Ma Dukes & the Drunken Money, to see Pa Dukes race. It was a good time, minus some minor incidents involving Pickles, a van, and an angry bald man. Pa Dukes looked bad ass out on the track and I got to play the part of pit crew. Sometimes, it makes me want to actually learn how to fix things on motorcycles and cars. It's fun. But, that's Pa Dukes and Big A's thing. Plus, Big A has so little free time he doesn't need to take more to teach me what he's fixing. Maybe some day. The drive home was killer. I'm pretty sure that no one knows how to merge, change lanes, etc. anymore. It's pretty pathetic.
Big A and I went over to J$ and her hubs' house for a fire. That was fun. It was good to see everyone and have a nice low key night. (Side note: wild Saturday nights ruin my Sunday morning routine...hence them getting fewer and far between).
Today, we have a cook out at Big A's parents' house. Should be a good time. His family is absolutely amazing. I didn't think that I would ever find someone whose family has a similar dynamic to mine. They have a strong sense of family and it shows in their closeness. They welcome others in and make them feel like one of them. They're pretty great!
Well, that's the weekend so far. I have a sleeping dog and a sleeping man that I need to get up if we are ever going to get anything done today. I do enjoy my quiet, alone time. However, after a couple hours it gets a little boring.
Friday, September 3, 2010
So, let's talk about Friday. LOOONNG weekend! Very exciting. Big A actually has the whole weekend off. It's pretty shocking. Saturday I'm watching Pa Dukes race, so hopefully Big A and Mr. Fresh can get some QT in. Mr. Fresh and I run errands on Saturdays, go for walks, play, etc. I hope Big A knows what he is getting himself into.
Of course, all of this is overshadowed by the upcoming business trip. I mean part of it is pretty damn cool, don't get me wrong. We are going to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame and then to some fancy dinner after. Tough life huh? Unfortunately, the airlines hate me and I have to fly out the day before. Making me be TWO lonely nights without Big A and Mr. Fresh. Hardcore bummer. Maybe some day I won't like them as much and these types of things will be easier. Now, it stinks!
September is a busy month. I have a two day meeting coming up. Then the business trip. Another meeting that I am scheduling for the middle of October. It's a lot of stuff. I do get to have a little bit of fun in planning the gift to be handed out at the meeting at the end of the month. Me and another guy in my group are coming up with this amazing surprise. If we can pull off our idea, it will be legendary. (OK, maybe not legendary, but pretty damn cool) I got the idea, he has the design skills, I got the know-how to make it happen. We're a pretty good team. I told him we should go global, but he didn't seem to receptive. Maybe I can work on that. It would be good to have a guy on the team with his kn0w-how when I take over the world. I'll keep him in mind!
It won't be all work, work, work. All work and no play makes this chick a whiny pain in the ass. Big A and I are escaping to the wonderful island of Martha's Vineyard for three nights and two days of relaxing, glorious, bliss. Much needed, much deserved. Mr. Fresh will be there too. He's an awesome traveling companion. He just chills out. He doesn't hog the bathroom, eat all of your food, or drink the last beer. (Well he does like to check in on you in the bathroom, he would eat all of your food, and he LOVES beer...however his lack of opposable thumbs makes the last two impossible). It should be pretty amazing. Definitely looking forward to it. This will be our third year going together (I've been every year since I was born). We have a nice little family tradition going on. Awwww.....
So all in all...September shouldn't be a complete bust. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Just gotta get there. Looking forward to this Labor Day weekend though. I'll keep you updated on all of the hijinx I get myself into. Should be good for an interesting post or two.
Well loved ones (and complete strangers) have a great safe long weekend! Sit back, relax, and have a cold one for me! Although please remember to drink responsibly...we've all seen the angry state police commercials...they are crackin' down this weekend. Sitting on a concrete slab behind bars is NOT the way to spend your weekend!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I mean don't get me wrong, I have no problem with New York. However, when it comes to football...New York is going down. Plain and simple. (Ya, ya. I know I talked a big game last week, but I made sure Big A's shirt was washed and ready for this came - laid it out on the bed this morning - tonight is a SURE thing!)
It's pretty exciting. It will also be exciting to have my non-tired Friday mornings (not from drinking wobbly-pops, just from not crawling into bed until midnight - can't do it). Although, now begin the Sunday games. Lucky for me, there are only a couple of late games. I can make it through a couple.
But, that's not the topic of this entry is it? It's not Football Thursday, it's Thankful Thursday. I've been seeing a trend amongst some friends on Facebook that they are posting daily lists of what they are thankful for. And we all know how much I am into being thankful for what you have. So here's my list.
- My amazing boyfriend
- Mr. Fresh
- My great group of family & friends
- Lobster Ravioli from Dino's!!!