Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I'm not a wife but...

OK, so I know I already posted today, but I came across this on another blog (with the opinion of the woman who posted it, who is a stay at home Mother and still finds it nuts!) and HAD to comment: This is "The Good Wife's Guide". It is "10 steps to a good marriage" found in a 1950's home economics book: (Here's the link: http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp) This is what it says. I've added MY comments below each one. I know that I'm not a wife. But living with Big A is pretty much the same thing (minus the diamonds, vows, and party heh). Like I've said before, I'm a House Wife without the glitz or glamour!

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Ya… I do all the cooking. ALL the time. Big A has just learned how to preheat the oven and “cook” some frozen foods, but that’s about it. So this one is kinda reality. However. If I’m tired, or don’t feel like cooking, or haven’t gotten around to it yet…then tough luck. My main priority when I get home from work is not to slave over a hot stove so my man can feel that I am concerned about his needs.

2. Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

HA! Good one! Big A is lucky if I EVER wear make-up. Big work events, some weekends if we go out, holidays, etc. That’s about it. As for a bow in my hair, that hasn’t happened for the better part of 20 years. Plus, I’m tired at the end of my day. I would LOVE to rest for 15 minutes, but not to be “gay and interesting” for Big A.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house. Gather up books, toys and newspapers. Dust the tables so that they appear clean. Your husband will feel that he has reached his haven and rest and order. Doing this for him will give you a lift also.

Umm…ya. No. There is no way that I am running around the house like a crazy person just to make sure that the house isn’t cluttered for Big A. I like a clean house, but on my own terms. No one runs around the house before I get home and makes sure it is clutter-free (no matter how many times I’ve tried to get Mr. Fresh to do it!)

4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their faces and hands. Comb their hair and change their clothes if it is necessary to make them look presentable to him. They are "God's creatures" and your husband would like to see them playing their part.

We have no children. And Mr. Fresh isn’t going to let me brush his hair and fix him up every day. And no, this will not be happening when we do have kids. Moving on…

5. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noises of the washer, dryer, dishwasher and vacuum. You've had plenty of time to do these things during the day. Don't do them now. Encourage your children to be quiet.

We don’t have a washer, dryer, or dishwasher, and I don’t vacuum often. Problem solved. Look I do one! I’m a good house wife! And yes, I do have a lot of free time during the day to get this stuff done, it would be my own fault…yeaaahhhh….

6. Be happy to see your husband. Greet him with a warm smile. Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints. Don't complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through all day.

For the most part I am happy to see Big A (look 2! I’m PERFECT!) except when A) we are fighting B) he is late coming home without calling C) I’ve had a bad day and then I don’t even want to see Ed McMann with a million dollar check!

7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

How about this? Since I am the one who cooks, cleans, does the laundry, grocery shops, etc. then how about when I get home he gets me a drink and encourages me to relax. Regardless…I’m not going anywhere near his feet. YUCK! I hate feet! If he wants his shoes off then the last time I checked he still had two hands!

8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first. Make the evening his. He is special!

I’m special too damnit! I do listen to Big A talk about his day. And he listens to me about mine. And I’m not the type to just shut up to “make the evening his”

9. Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax. Remember that you relaxed all day waiting for his return. Now it's his turn to enjoy what you enjoyed.

I don’t complain. Big A is actually pretty good at taking me out to dinner and such. He considers it his way of paying me back for everything else I do around the house. No complaints here. Makes me feel like a “kept” woman haha!

10. The goal: Try to make his home a place of peace and order, a place where your husband can relax in body and spirit.

There is no peace and order. I’m a whirlwind. A Merry-go-Round if you will. I’m a freaking circus for christ’s sake! That’s life. Live with it or don’t live with me. End of story. So far Big A digs it (most of the time) so I’m just going to go ahead and ignore this one!

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