Wednesday, August 31, 2011

New Blog Find & Giveaway

So I recently came across this blog Little Miss Mama. LOVE it.

And what's even better?

I find her on the day that she is having an amazing giveaway.

I'm pretty sure that it is fate.

She is featuring a giveaway from this site Barn Owl Primitives, which is this amazing Etsy site that has all of these amazing signs.

Big A and I are planning our buying our first home soon after we get married (we would love before, but it just isn't in the cards) and I can't wait to decorate it. A real home. Not a thrown together apartment (Don't get me wrong, we are thankful for everything we were given. We would still be sitting on the floor if it weren't for all the generous people we know, but nothing beats picking out your own brand new stuff).

And I think these signs will be perfect. So I HAVE to win. (And don't enter...there's like 800 comments already...I need all the chances I can get. Haha!)

These are some of my favorites:

Would love to put this up in our living room.

I would LOVE this for pictures at the wedding. The coloring is perfect for out theme. (Hint hint to anyone thinking of gifts...the website link is above...hint hint)

I would be THRILLED to have washer/dryer hookups, let alone an actual laundry room. But I would love to have a cute laundry room with this sign!

Could you not just die?! These are AMAZING! Hmm... I think that Etsy needs to start a wedding registry so that I can mark everything I fall in love with. Especially these.

So visit Little Miss Mama's page and see how cool she is. And check out the Etsy website too! Or you can check them out on Facebook.

Wedding Dresses That Make me a good way...

I figured with my bummer postings lately that I should talk about some things that are a little bit do you say...things that would NOT fall under the Whiny Bitch category.

Soo... I will focus on all things wedding dresses right now.

These are so far my favorite...and they are all from the same designer. Maggie Sottero. (If anyone from there is reading this...I am in love with your designs, your fabrics. They make an anti-girly-girl like me want to dress up all pretty. Donations welcome. Heh.)

Anyway... now that I'm done my shameless plug. Here are some of my favorites.

All pictures found here.

My original favorite. The Amanda. This is the dress that introduced me to Maggie. This is the dress that convinced me NOT to wear jeans to my own wedding.

Next is the Cleo. I love the fabric and the silhouette of the dress. And how amazing would that belt look in black. Swoon.

Next is the Madison Marie. Love it.

Followed by the Shelby. I can just imagine pairing this with some amazing black rhinestone belt. Something real classic, 50's style.

And the Electra. This one is just for fun. It is a little Boobtastic for me.

Obviously, it is clear that I have a "type". I'm thinking that the Amanda isn't my favorite anymore. When I first found it, it was the end all be all dress. But, now that I found those other ones, I'm not too sure. I plan on just showing them my pictures and seeing what I like.

I'm not opposed to trying other styles, although I think I am pretty set on these.

So we will see.

How was dress shopping for everyone else? Did you pick your dream dress from the start? Or were you shocked that you found something that you weren't expecting.

I watch enough 'Say Yes to the Dress" to know that you have to have a completely open mind when shopping.

So What! Wednesday

I can't believe it is Wednesday already!

Can it be Friday now?

Please, please, please?

I'm linking up with Shannon over at Life After I Dew

This week I'm saying So What! if...

* One major highlight of my day yesterday was finding Yellow Tail's new Moscato in a big bottle. I've never found a moscato in a big bottle I have always had to buy two bottles...which somehow makes me feel even more like a booze hound than my gigantic bottle*

* I just convinced one of the people at work to take me out to (a company paid) lunch, because I don't like what I brought and I'm broke. Yaaaay me!*

* The waiting to hear back about Mr. Fresh's test results makes me want to stab someone. This is only a problem if I actually go through with it.*

* On the topic of violence... hitting someone would make me feel fabulous today. *

* My attempt to focus on the positive today is being ruined by the ugly pissed off troll that has apparently taken over my body. *

* I am excited/terrified to go wedding dress shopping. Excited because... ummm it's my WEDDING DRESS! And terrified because I know how I am when it comes to dress or bathing suit shopping and I really don't want it to be a gigantic bummer.*

* I have no wedding date right now. And by the time we pick one we will have less than a year to plan it. There's nothing I can do about it right I.don' *

* I spent a good portion of last night in Mr. Fresh's face. To the point, that I think he sensed something was up because then he was in MY face. He's my baby. I don't know what else to do, but love on him.*

* This week needs to be over, like yesterday. Bring on the long weekend. *

What are you saying So What! to this week? Anyone else cranky like me?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Blaaaaaah... That's how I feel

Today is just one of those days.

I took Mr. Fresh to the vet this morning. They took some blood work, a urine sample, and his temperature. He has a slight fever and some other funky stuff going on. They put him on antibiotics while we wait for the results. We should have them back sometime tomorrow. As much as it sucks to have to worry about him and have him go through all of that, I am thankful that we have found ourselves a bomb ass vet. He truly is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

And although Mr. Fresh doesn't quite enjoy his visits (I mean who would if they had to get their temperature taken "back there"), he always behaves for his doctor. I trust his opinion 110%. I know that he would never suggest that we do anything unless it was in Mr. Fresh's best interest. Now, we just wait to see what the results are. Which, won't come back until tomorrow.

Because I am so good at being patient and waiting.

I'm just hoping my little guy is OK. It really hit me today that he is 10 years old. Yep, I got him when I was 15. We were practically babies together. He's my little man. He's been through a lot with me and it just kills me to think that there could be something wrong with him. The good news is that his doctor doesn't think that it is anything life threatening, so that makes me feel a bit better.

I dropped Mr. Fresh off back at home, gave him lots of ear scratches & cookies, and then headed in to work. I only took the morning off, so it was back to the chaos.

Of course, the first thing I do when I get in is screw up a report that I have to send out every month. It has all of our financial information and safety numbers on it, so it is uber important that it goes out. However, to prevent people from tampering with it and to keep the file size down, we convert it from PowerPoint to a PDF and then e-mail it.

I have done this every single month since I have been here. And more often than not, I screw it up. I mess up a number. There's a typo, blah blah blah. Today I forgot to conver it to PDF. Awesome. Got a nice e-mail from my boss asking "Don't we usually convert this so no one can tamper with it?"

Yes, yes we do. My brain, however, is currently mush and I screwed up. Ug.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I finally returned to my dreaded Expense Reports, and got a bloody nose. On my keyboard. Awesome. (I get them all the time, so that wasn't anything concerning, it's just the last thing I need is a bloody keyboard).

I know I have only been here for 2 1/2 hours, but can I go home now?

I'm thinking if I get home quick, I can be a bottle deep in wine before L comes over.

I'm trying really hard not letting everything get to me. I can't control it, so I need to just roll with it and try to make the best out of it. Which is easier said than done. I'm just not sure as to why every time I pick myself back up I get kneed in the methaphorical balls.

Thoughts? Opinions?

Sometimes it is almost comical. The other night, I was having a particularly tough time. I was running late. I was having a Pity Party for One. And I walked into the door knob in the bathroom... hard. (I do it all the time. No clue why I can't function when walking out of my bathroom, but this happens 3-4 times a week resulting in a gigantic bruise on my ass. It's like a perfected skill now). I shook it off. I went to get a spoon out of the drawer to stir the pasta salad I made. The entire drawer came off the runner and fell. Awesome. I then procedded to stub my toe. And then pull my own hair because I was leaning on it.


At this point, it became quite clear that there was some kind of poltergeist around me, continuously trying to get me to break. And I could do nothing but laugh. Because being that much of a mess in that short amount of time, is nothing short of comical.

But sometimes laughing gets old. That's where the wine comes in.

Oh, and did I mention that my entire body is peeling from my Lobster Suit that I had last week? Yeeeaaah. Sexy.

It will all be OK. It could all be much worse (trust me I know). Just, right now. It's not my day. Or week. Or month. Maybe we will try again in September.

That's it. September is totally going to be my month.

Anyone else over August? I know I'm not the only one having a crappy month. Big A's stinks too, but I blame my bad luck for that. Anyone? Bueller?

Aaaannnd I'm done.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Weekend Recap and a Little Irene

This past weekend turned out to be quite the eventful one.

Friday, we had dinner with friends. Good time had by all.

Saturday, I had lunch with Pa Dukes, and then Big A and I went to L’s for her birthday party. Once again, good time had by all.

Yesterday was quite interesting with Irene visiting us. We woke up thinking that everyone was quite obviously overreacting, but she turned out to be quite the pain in the ass that we thought she would.

Luckily, we only lost power for a few hours. I was kind of hoping that we would for a little bit longer because I was enjoying my time with Big A (for all those people who still do not have it back, please do not hit me for saying that).

We stayed in our pajamas for pretty much the entire day. We just sat and chatted with Mr. Fresh for awhile when the power was out. I was most concerned about the fact that I was not able to make coffee before we lost power. When it came back on, I was so excited. I rushed to make it just in case we lost power again. Which seems silly now, because I was running around my kitchen like a lunatic and we never lost power again. Go me.

It was also good to get in some QT with Mr. Fresh. There’s some stuff going on with him right now, that we don’t really know what it is. It is kind of scary, and a little concerning, but both nearby Vet offices still don’t have power, so there’s really nothing we can do, but wait.

Big A is doing a good job of “let’s not worry since we don’t know anything and it could be nothing”. And I am doing a good job of “this is my little baby, so I am automatically going to assume the worse and cry softly while I hug him a little too tight”. I’m sure he is fine, but it is all a little nerve wracking when you don’t know what is wrong with them. And they can’t tell you what is going on.

The good news is that he seems to be acting relatively fine, so I am hoping that is a good sign. It’s all I can really do right now. Hope. Well…that and call the Vet obsessively 12,000 since this morning.

I will keep you posted as we get more information. Sorry to be a bit vague, but I need to talk about it enough to state the fact that there could be something wrong and I am scared. But laying out the details makes it all a little to real and scary. Ya know.

Other than that, work today has resumed back to normalish. At least it is better than last week’s insanity. Which is good since I am obsessively checking Pet MD websites.

(On a side note… if any of you out there are vets, please send me an e-mail. I would love to pick your brain a bit about what is going on with Mr. Fresh. Especially since the Vet probably won’t be open until tomorrow. UG)

Other than that…I hope your weekend was a little less “eventful” than ours. Big A took some picks of the mess that is our yard now, so I am hoping to post those later. Also, I am almost done with my photo book so maybe I can figure out how to post that for you all to see.

Adios. I’m off to finish up some work.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Random Ramblings Part 34563423

Today has been one of those craptastic days.

You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones where you actually slightly convince yourself that you could quit your job and live the rest of your life in a White Zin filled haze and it might just be OK.

Luckily… it isn’t so bad that I have actually 100% convinced myself.

I had a job once where I seriously had to talk myself out of just flipping out and quitting some days. That even though I couldn’t think of a single reason to stay, that I should stay for the sake of having a job. Even though I had full plans of getting 3 other jobs just to be able to leave this one. And no I am not saying which job. Because I love lots of people I used to work with, bosses included. And it was only temporary.

I ran away and had lunch with J$ today. I went out to lunch yesterday too, but I just couldn’t stand sitting in the office. Forget the fact that I have already spontaneously burst into tears twice today… to be fair…sad stories about military men and their dogs were the culprit. But alas… I need to get my ish together because I am ruining my badass street cred.

You know… the street cred to defend by telling everyone and their mother that I wasn’t going to see the Glee movie. No offense if you love Glee. It’s just not my bag.

I have about two hours left of work and I am dreaming about the leftover wine from last night. Healthy right?

And I feel disconnected from the outside world. Due to crazy ass storms last night, I had to use my phone as a back-up alarm in case we lost power. And despite my pep talk to myself not to forget it since it wasn’t in my bag where it usually was, it was the first thing I went for when I got to work. And realized I left it at home. Yay me.

Sometimes I wonder why some days are just one gigantic kick in the balls after another.

We have plans with some bomb ass people tonight. So that is helping me get through the day too.

And it is L’s bday so I am bursting with BFF/MOH love. Her bday party is tomorrow and I’m hoping Irene isn’t too much of a biatch and ruins it. I don’t have the heart to ask her if she has a back-up plan in case Armageddon is upon us like my boy Kev on Fox 25 predicts. (Sidenote: For those of you who don’t know… I have a sordid relationship with Kevin Lemanowitz who is the weather man for Fox 25 in Mass…and yes Big A knows about it… he just seems so happy all the time… “Hey folks… a gigantic world ending storm is coming to wipe us all off the planet…*insert charming smile*…but the good news is that if you survive…tomorrow will be sunny in the 70’s” which makes you ignore everything and go, oh, nice weather tomorrow. Yeah! End sidenote.)

Expense reports are currently a gigantic pain in my ass as usual. Gotta love the last week of the month. Sometimes, I want to know why they are so nosy and have to know where every dollar goes. But then again…I guess it is their money and prob want to make sure our Executives are spending money at Bada Bing or something.

Other than that… and the fact the I started writing this and then forgot about it for the better part of an hour… things are pretty normal. Besides getting ready for Irene… anyone else remember Hurricane Bob? I remember a lot about it. It was pretty crazy. That was almost 20 years ago though. And that makes me feel kind of old. Blah.

Alright, I am off before ADD kicks in and I leave work with this still up. I don’t need the cleaning crew reading this and thinking I’m tapped. Although, maybe it will make sure that they don’t touch my stuff. Who knows.

Have a great weekend all. Stay safe.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Seriously?! Thursday

Ahhh... Seriously?! Thursday!

I love you for your permission to rant and rave... and the fact that with you here it means tomorrow is Friday!

What's there not to love?

I'm linking up with Becky over at From Mrs to Mama.

This week I'm saying...

Seriously?! How cute is this picture? Big A came home the other night and it was like he had been gone for ages. There are a lot of things that I love about Big A (I mean obviously...we are getting hitched!) but, one of the main things is the man loves my dog. Like it was his own. He always tells me that if I ever leave him that he gets to keep Mr. Fresh. Or at least get partial custody. Heh. Cute... not gonna happen... but cute!

Seriously?! I had a conversation with someone at work about how I wanted to get my nose re-pierced. And they promptly told me that I should focus more on my appearance and what it makes others think of me. Listen... I've been here for almost a year and a half. I'm 25, I have tattoos, and you can obviously see that I have had piercings. No one cares. I was told it wouldn't look good in a job interview. I said good thing I already have a job at a company with no tattoo or piercing policy. BAM!

Seriously?! In continuation of the above rant... it made me want to get my nose pierced even more. No one here has ever judged me on the way I look... and it isn't about to start now. I know the whole stereotype that goes with tattooed and pierced people... it's time to get over them people. Seriously... they have no correlation with a person's character or work ethic.

Seriously?! Big A came home last night pissed because the tranny in his Chevelle still isn't fixed. I feel so bad for him because that car is like his baby. It is part of his identity. And without it, he's so sad. I wish that I could all of a sudden have the knowledge to fix transmissions and solve the problem.

Seriously?! After ranting about his transmission, I promptly burst into tears about how everything sucks for us right now and dramatically said that we should postpone the wedding. He brought me back to Earth and calmed me down. And then when I realized that I didn't have any buns for the hamburgers I was about to make... and I burst into tears again... he took me out for dinner and some margaritas. He's such a good boy.

Big A with our Margaritas. It was $3.49 Margaritas at Chili's last night. Someone obviously knew that we were coming... and we needed them!

Seriously?! No one is in my office again today. It was kind of sad on Monday, but I'm pretty excited about it today. As long as there isn't a fire drill again (and yes Dad I have learned all of the exit routes) I should be just fine!

Seriously?! I am over this week and Friday can't come soon enough.

Seriously?! I was going through pictures for a photo book I am making that I won in a contest over at Saying I Do (if you don't know Laura...check her out she is such a sweetheart) and I found some great pictures of me and my grandfather. I got sad for a minute as I looked through them... until I found the one of us doing Jell-O shots together at my college graduation party. Then I remembered how Bad Ass he can be and I smiled! I'm glad I have those memories with him!

Seriously?! This is far longer than I had originally planned. So I'm gonna head out. Adios Chicas... and Chicos... if any guys read this!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

So What! Wednesday

It’s time for another So What! Wednesday!

I have to admit… I was a little lost last week without it. But, Shannon had a lot on her plate with her Baby Girl turning 1, so it was completely understandable.

So… we are back again. This is what I am giving the giant middle finger to saying So What! to this week.

So What! if…

* I haven’t been to the gym in about a week. I gave myself some time off and now that I am a human lobster…I’m giving myself a little more of a break to let the pain die down *

* 4 days later I am still sunburned. Most of it has calmed down, but there are still a few places that are particularly pink. Plus, I’m Irish… this is what we do *

* I was fully planning on coming back from my beach vaca with a tattoo. I warned Alex… I thought it out (it would only have been something little), but alas… with my sunburn and rumors that the only tattoo artist on Main St. was booked until October… I said forget it *

* I made Big A get me a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy’s on his way home last night…I realized at 9:30 that I hadn’t eaten dinner and was not about to cook something then. Plus, I cook him dinner all the time… he can “cook” me dinner just this once *

* I’m already ready for another vacation. Whereas last week was a whole bunch of BS…work this week is a whole lotta crazy. I resisted the urge to crawl under my desk and cry yesterday…instead I went home and drank wine *

* I turned a big gangster and sent Big A texts last night with the general theme of “Bitch should have known who she was messing with” when our deposit check arrived back in the mail today. Then I did a little White Girl dance since we were finally done with that hell hole place and had our money back *

* I am currently ignoring my to do list because I am totally convinced that if I don’t start working then I can’t get stressed out again. Good plan right? *

And that’s all for today. I’m off to find some other means of procrastination today.

What are you saying So What! to this week?

Head on over to Shannon’s blog and link up!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Red Neck Beach Vaca

Hello All,

I'm back from my Red Neck Beach Vaca with L. How did we come up with that name you ask? Have you ever tried to plan a last minute trip to the cape and try to find a hotel on Main St. Hyannis where all the action is? Yeah... not easy... or cheap. So we decided if we couldn't find something, then we were building a box, filling it with sand, and sitting next to it with our feet in it, drinks in hand.

Luckily, L came through and found us a bomb ass hotel.

We headed out early Saturday morning and enjoyed our mini karaoke session on the way down. We immediately set out for the beach upon arrival. We of course, were super smart and decided that we would bake for a little bit, and as soon as we started feeling a little crispy we would throw on our sunscreen.

Unfortunately for us, the ocean breeze masked any indication that we were overcooked and I am officially a lobster. It's not even funny. I'm pretty sure I have like 3rd degree burns on my legs. Good one me!

Anyway, after the beach we checked into the hotel. Since ocean water creeps us out (umm...anyone else hear about all those shark sightings on the Cape? No thanks...I am NOBODY's dinner!) we didn't go in the water. So when we found the pool completely empty, we grabbed some drinks and went down.

We ended up meeting these three guys at the pool who were there for a Bachelor Party (three guys for a Bachelor party?). They were pretty cool and I helped with the insisting that they get the Groom obliterated. I mean honestly... a low key Bachelor Party on the Cape? He at least needed to get drunk.

Of course, that backfired on me when they realized that I too was engaged. So they said I had to drink too. Never one to turn down a challenge, I did. (Free drinks...who says no to that?).

After that, we both went back to our respective rooms and that was that. They went out for the evening and ended up having to drop the Groom back at the hotel at 9:30 because he was asked to leave the restaurant because he kept passing out at the table (haha...mission accomplished!). L and I went out to dinner, but I couldn't eat much... shocking. Such a waste. I was burnt, tired, and had already had my fill of the day. Lame.

After that we headed back to the hotel and hung out for a bit before bed. It may not have been the crazy weekend that we had planned on, but it was much needed. I feel relaxed and recharged. After all of the BS that has been going on, I'm finally feeling a little more normal. Thankfully!

And of course, because I can't leave you without a couple of you go!

L and I in our Cowboy Hats. She found a black on with a skull & crossbones charm on it. How amazing is that? I want to wear it all the time!

L and I with our matching bracelets!

L and I without our matching anklets. I buy one every year on the Cape so I had to get L in on it this year. They are wish anklets. You put them on and make a wish and when they break they come true...supposedly! (And please no comments on the quite obvious difference of skin tone..L obviously tans while I remain translucent or Lobster-esque...very rarely in between)

Well... I hope you all had am amazing weekend too! Back to the the grind today. I'm the only one on my side of the office today and we had a Fire Drill. Talk about unprepared... no clue where the stairwells were... what? I've never had to use them!

Oh... P.S. Don't know if I posted this... but I have the Wedding Coordinator hell and she will be mailing back our deposit. Yay! Still not an ideal situation, but at least we aren't out any money for it!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Things are Looking Up

Yesterday went well. My Future MIL & SIL went with me to check out a new venue. I wanted to give the Wedding Planner there a gigantic hug and tell her to be my BFF. I was in tears. No one had ever described the day in such detail that I A) could picture every second of it and B)wasn't worried about a single detail because I know these ladies will get the job done.

I haven't shown Big A yet since he didn't get home until after L was leaving, it was late, and I didn't have the pics of the place yet so there was no point. I just told him I really like it and we would talk about it today.

Here's a little's where the ceremony would be. Completely surrounded by the most gorgeous flowers you have ever seen.

We have to change our date, which is fine. At this place we would be getting married a week earlier, so that's fine with me. I really just didn't want to push it back more. Massachusetts weather at the end of October is really iffy. I remember the blizzard we had on Halloween. It was better safe than sorry.

I'm doing my best to be cool with the whole situation. I'm throwing myself into finding a new place because, to be honest with you it is the only thing I can control right now. I'm feeling pretty stressed about life right now. My family and Big A's family are being really helpful right now so that makes things easier. I just wish that some other people would just kind of lay back for awhile. I've got a lot going on right now and I really can't be listening to people telling me to relax and calm down, when honestly I'm keeping it all together pretty well.

If I all of a sudden have a gigantic freak out, then yes by all means, hand me a glass of wine and tell me I need to take a break. But if I'm not, and you aren't being helpful or constructive, then please just do me the favor of leaving me be. I know it comes from a good place, but I just can't deal with it right now.

On another note... tomorrow is another PreSeason Patriots game. And since we slaughtered them in the first game, I'm feeling pretty confident about us this week. I mean if our B squad is that much better than their B squad...imagine what happens when we put the Super Stars out there. I <3 Football Season.

So... things are looking up. I will update you all when I have more information. Thank you to everyone who has left me a sweet comment or sent me an encouraging e-mail. It really means a lot to know that you are thinking of us throughout all of it, and sometimes it really is nice to have someone else say "Yep, that sucks. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You poor thing". That's all for now folks.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Slight Update

Hey There Folks...

So I'm a lot less hostile today, which is good. I have kind of just accepted the fact that it majorly sucks, but that I am glad it all went down when it did. If this was NEXT August, I would be singing a different tune. Whatever.

The good news is that since we never signed anything, legally they should have to give us our deposit back, which helps. The woman has the day off today so I plan on calling her tomorrow. Backed up with some legal mumbo jumbo that my mom's friend advised me on. She's going to regret the day that the decided to ditch me. (I say with feigned confidence because I honestly don't know if I have the balls to back all of this up...hopefully I won't have to).

I have been looking around at some different places that I think I might even like better than our current one. I have talked to some wonderful people (who have all agreed that what the woman did was bullshit and guaranteed that it would not happen with them...which I might have them put in writing) and hopefully will be seeing some great places.

No one has our date open, so the reality is that we are going to have to change it. I'm disappointed since my wedding binder has our original wedding date on it, so that is going to drive me nuts. BUT, I can't replace it so whatever. I will live.

A part of me is pretty pissed of at all of this still. I mean I wanted this whole process to be something fun. Something memorable. I wanted to go through the process without every once having thrown a temper tantrum (I don't plan on counting the month before the wedding on this because no one can be held responsible for their behavior then - although I do have a couple Bridezilla bets going, so I'm going to have to check myself for the crazies). I had promised myself that I was going to stroll through this and the second that it wasn't fun anymore I would know that I was doing something wrong. But, here I am. 3 months later.

So cross your fingers. And wish us luck. If any brides out there have any tips on what the hell I should do in this situation, please feel free to leave me a comment or email me. I need all the help I can get.

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Little Set Back in Planning

So... today is going to be a big fat whine fest. Please feel free to skip it. I attempt to warn you ahead of time so you can choose not to read it before you are in too deep. So... considered yourself officially warned.

This weekend blew.

Friday night was my Bridesmaid Wine Night and it was FABULOUS. Don't get me wrong. I love my girls and when I have stopped hating the world then I will post a happy, fuzzy recap of all of the hilarity that ensued, but for now I just won't be able to do it justice.

Saturday, all of my bridesmaids plus my mother and future MIL came over. We headed out to see the venue. We had a bit of a late start and got stuck in traffic so we were a bit late. I hate being late, so the anxiety started there. When we arrived at the venue, we were told that the woman wasn't scheduled to come in that day. She also had another appointment that day that she apparently blew off. And she's one of the owners. Nice.

They found someone else for me to talk to who told me that the room was booked so we couldn't see it. There was a "wedding" in there and they wouldn't be done for about an hour. We could walk around outside if we felt like it. Cool.

So we walked around the grounds and talked about minor details and such. We noticed that the people were exiting the room so we decided to wait around until they were done. Yeah... it was a Bridal Shower. NOT a wedding. Way to be informed guy.

So, when I went inside, I couldn't find anyone. I asked the bartender if I could look at the room downstairs since everyone left and he was the nicest person there. He said go for it and asked me if I needed anything.

We went downstairs and looked around a bit. The first guy I talked to came into the room and some point and never once acknowledged that we were there. Didn't ask us if we had any questions. Didn't ask us if we needed anything. Nothing. (Mind you we have already given them a deposit and planned on spending thousands of dollars there)

So, we left. I said thank you and goodbye, to which the guy (and the woman he was talking to) looked at me, and then went back to what they were saying. No goodbye. Nothing.

I left feeling disappointed. Disheartened. This was supposed to be an exciting day and it was ruined.

I had a big long talk with my future MIL and my mom yesterday and we decided that we need to keep looking. We need to find some place that is going to be attentive to us. This isn't the first time I have had problems with this lady and I don't want to spend the next 14 months feeling this way. I just can't believe that I am back at square one again.

I've been looking into places and hopefully we can find something. We probably won't get to keep our date, but there's nothing really that we can do. We are hoping to get our deposit back, but we will have to see on that one too. I'm just bummed. It shouldn't be like this. Planning a wedding shouldn't FEEL like this. I feel like I've been cheated. And with everything else going on right now, this really is the last thing that I need.

But, it's the only thing that I can somewhat control right now (more than anything else) so I am choosing to focus on this and to push everything else out of my mind. Healthy right?

Whatever. We'll see how it goes.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Seriously?! Thursday

Seriously?! Thursday…again???

These weeks are FLYING by…

I’m linking up with Becky again over at From Mrs to Mama

So here it goes… Seriously?!

1. Today is the first Patriots PreSeason game and I am so happy I could scream. I don’t know where I am watching it, or what I will be doing, but you can bet your ass that I will be rocking my Welker jersey and screaming at the television. Hot DAMN I am glad that football is back!

2. I am having a Bridesmaid Wine Night tomorrow and had totally planned on cleaning the house tonight. Until I remembered that it was the first Patriots game. Needless to say, I will be watching the game. I asked them to drink enough to not notice my house is a disaster… that’s almost as good as cleaning right?

3. I know that I am marrying Big A, so it is quite obvious that I dig him, but I had such a great time with him for Date Night last night. We went out to a Chinese Food restaurant (totally cheating on my diet, but I’m a rockstar and was STILL under my calories so BAM!) and we had the best time. He just cracks me up.

4. Work has been busting my balls lately (pardon the expression, but “work has been super tough” didn’t seem to cut it) I love how there are times when I am literally staring at the ceiling for hours…and then I am BURIED. No middle ground. Unfortunately, I’m watching my calories, so drinking my sorrows away is NOT an option. Bummer.

5. Becky’s dining room redo reveal made me incredibly jealous and want my own house…like yesterday. Blah. I’m so over our apartment. It was supposed to be a temporary place…live there for a year…buy a house. But it will be two years in November and I am itching to get out. Ug.

6. On Saturday, I am going with my Mom, FMIL, and my bridesmaids to visit our venue. I feel kinda bad because I told the woman it was going to be like 3 people and now it is 8, but I think it will be fun for everyone to see it. Then when I imagine the room is 2ft X 2ft, I will have enough people to tell me to get off the crack and be realistic.

7. I’m a little pissed for the fact that I have been obsessively watching what I eat (please ignore chinese food comment above) and working out like crazy and NOTHING. I feel different, which is good… but let’s be honest…I’m a girl, if the scale doesn’t reflect it then it doesn’t matter. Time to buy a new scale…again. (Please note that I am not nuts…my scale reflects the same weight, for weeks…which is physically impossible.)

And that will be all for today… oh wait just kidding.

Laura over at Saying I Do is having a MixBooks contest to win a free photobook. Now I’m only telling you this because it gets me an extra entry. I do not under any circumstances want you to enter because it will lessen my chances of winning.

Unless you plan on giving me the prize. Then that is totally cool.

BUT…feel free to check out Laura’s blog. She just got married and have been blogging all the wedding details (and just celebrated her 2nd blogiversary! Yay!) which I’m sure you can assume is awesome for me to steal and pretend they are my own to use as inspiration. Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

So What! Wednesday

It’s Wednesday…which means it is time to link up with Shannon over at

This week I am saying So What! If…

* I’ve been slowly but surely avoiding cleaning my house for the Bridesmaid Wine Night on Friday… including making up excuses in my own head as to why I can’t do it…yep, I even feed myself a load of bullsh*t to get out of things*

* I skipped the gym yesterday. I majorly f’ed up my foot and I am not really sure what I did, but it is all sorts of swollen and I figured running on it would be a bad idea. *

* I am going to the gym TODAY even though it still hurts. I know I should rest it and such, but I lose momentum fast…I can’t take time off now because I will never go back… I plan to maybe replace my treadmill time with one of the bikes… it won’t be so much weight on my foot, but still good cardio.*

* I have absolutely no idea what I am going to make for food on Friday despite the fact the I have hounded everyone else about what they are going to make. Maybe I will just wait for one of them to have a good idea and say “Oh sorry, I was already planning on making that” hahaha I kid I kid. Can you imagine if I was that much of a jackass? *

* I am more than a little excited that the first Patriots PreSeason game is tomorrow. I know that it isn’t the REAL season…but I loves me some football and can’t wait for it to come back. Plus, Welker was on the news last night and boy is looking fierce. *

* I want to be anywhere other than work right now. Shocking I know. It’s just that it has been a crappy couple weeks and I would really just like to take a vacation. But alas, I can’t. Ug. Whatevs. *

Well, that’s all the super exciting stuff that I have for you today. I’m sure you were all on the edge of your seats reading all of the wonderful things that I have to say. Head on over to Shannon’s blog and link up!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Honest Ramblings

I haven’t been writing the past few days because, honestly, I don’t know what to say. I haven’t wanted to put into words what is going on because that makes things a little too real. You can pretend you didn’t have certain conversations. You can pretend that you aren’t thinking the thoughts that are swirling around in your mind. But once you put it down on paper…it’s real. Too real.

There’s been a lot going on with my grandfather lately. More than I really care to discuss publicly, but I think writing about at least some of it will be helpful. Because whatever I am doing now obviously isn’t working.

To begin with, the thought of him not being here forever kills me. I get that it is a reality, but not one that I am willing to deal with. There’s still so much that he needs to be here for. It’s not a choice. He HAS to. It’s just not fair.

Big A and I are going into our wedding with enough loved ones who won’t be able to be there. With too many people watching us from above rather than BEING there in person. There are too many already. And that thought alone is almost too much to bear. But, there can’t be anymore. There just can’t. For too many reasons. He HAS to see us get married. He HAS to meet our children. They HAVE to know him.

I feel all jumbled up. That there is so much to say, but I am having trouble making sense of it all. Putting it all together. So I apologize if I am rambling. Although you should be used to it by now.

Another part that is hard for me, is that I feel like I can’t lose him not only for me, but for everyone else too. For my mother and aunts who have already lost a parent. For my cousins who have already lost too many grandparents. For Big A who doesn’t have a grandfather, but has seen so much in mine that reminds him of his. He already lost his, he doesn’t need to lose more.

For everyone. I just don’t want anyone to have to go through this again.

And for selfish reasons. For the reason that I was the first one in the family to not have my Mimi at my High School graduation. My cousin and I were the only ones who didn’t get to share that special time with her to pick out our graduation presents. To share those memories. I can NOT be the first one he doesn’t see get married. It just isn’t fair. He NEEDS to be there. We need to have that grandfather moment, where we dance together at my wedding. My only grandfather.

AND for the reason that I royally suck at shit like this. I am not good in these situations. I don’t deal well. I don’t want to talk about it, unless it is some random emotional explosion that I can’t control. It affects every single aspect of my life and I am unable to rationally and constructively handle it all.

If I thought throwing myself down on the ground and having a temper tantrum that would be the envy of all Toddlers, then I would. In fact, I kind of want to anyway. It’s just not fair. And I’m not ready.

I’ve been all about the positive vibes. Because honestly, that’s the only thing I CAN control. And it has worked for now. Maybe if everyone just took a second and sent out some positive vibes, it would work for a bit longer. I don’t know. Sometimes I think that kind of thinking is right in line with the Easter Bunny, but like I said… it’s all I have.

So that is all for now because I’m on my lunch break and I’m thinking chain smoking needs to be done for the next half an hour because even under the worst circumstances drinking isn’t allowed at my work.

Just wanted to explain why I have been MIA for awhile. And why I might be still. And I needed an outlet for a little.

Friday, August 5, 2011

A little bit of WAH!

So I started going to the gym this week. And by started this week... I mean yesterday.

I mentioned that Jackums had a free month trial and I am taking advantage of it. The gym is a little pricey, but it has a lot of stuff. I'm not saying it isn't worth it. I'm just saying I'm cheap. Shocking I know.

Yesterday wasn't so bad because I had Jackums there with me. We caught up on some girl talk and the time flew by. But today, I went by myself. And forgot my Ipod. Awesome.

So I was basically alone with my own thoughts. And VERY aware of those around me. Usually I like to live in my own little bubble, but that isn't possible when you are at the gym during rush hour.

Especially when you look around and everyone looks like an "after" picture. Running on the treadmill so fast that MY asthma was acting up. Lifting weights that are so big that they look fake. Don't even get me started on the machine that is essentially you climbing these big ass stairs.

And then there is me. Speed walking on the treadmill. Doing as much as my little (HA!) body could handle. Luckily, one of the girls that works there is someone I knew from high school. She came over and talked to me while I was on the treadmill and I ended up walking an extra mile while talking to her. So that helps.

This is the part I hate about the gym though. The part where I feel like I don't belong. That I can't work out "right" and everyone is secretly laughing at how horrible I am and how red my face is. Awesome. Insecure much?

I thought I might just start using the gym at work after this month is over. No one ever uses it so I don't have to worry about anyone else. We are supposedly moving to another building next year, so I guess I should enjoy the free gym while I have it. I can always sign up for one next Summer when/if we move. I'm doubting that we will have a gym in our new place. Or a cafeteria.

The no gym part will suck. The no cafeteria part will probably do wonders for my waistline. Our chef makes me the most delicious sandwiches. (Speaking of which...tomorrow is Bombass Chicken Sandwich Day! I promised myself that if I did good all week then I could reward myself with my most favorite sandwich. Just remind me not to eat dinner tomorrow!) Plus the fact that it is probably 8 million times cheaper to bring my own food (I did the math).

I just want to be one of those people in the gym that when someone looks over at them they think, "wow that person is in good shape". I'm not looking to be Barbie. I'm looking to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm looking to me able to walk up a flight of stairs without breathing heavy (yeah I know, quit the butts and that will help to). I know it will all take time, but I am so much of an instant gratification person. Meh.

Well...hopefully I will see some difference soon. I have a little less than two months until our Engagement shoot, so I'm hoping to at least feel like something less than a whale. We will see though. I'm also a little nervous that if left to my own devices that I won't go. Jackums yelled at me yesterday and told me I was going. I need that.

I also need to quit whining about my mediocre weight loss problems. I just don't want to feel uncomfortable on my wedding day. I refuse to. I just know how easily I give up when I don't see results immediately. I guess we will just have to see.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Seriously?! Thursday

It's that time again...Oh how I love you Seriously?! Thursday!

Head on over to Becky's blog From Mrs to Mama and check it out!


1. I am more than a little bummed that I might not win this contest I have been obsessed with for the past few days. I'm uber competitive... plus I already planned out how the video would go...sigh...

2. I booked our Engagement Photo Shoot!!! I am uber excited! my Brosiff's roommate is a photographer and she offered to do them for us! I am in the process of finding a bow tie dog collar for Mr. Fresh so he looks fancy!

3. This week has been the week of craziness. It has been out.of.control. And surprisingly, I am dealing with it very well. I mean who doesn't love coming into work and being hit with a million problems that you need to yesterday!

4. I miss the excitement of being newly engaged. I mean I know we are still "newly" engaged... but I miss the first few days afterward, floating through life on cloud 9 with a shit eating grin so big that your cheeks hurt. Now it's all planning and budgets and blah! Still exciting but not the same!

5. So far I have cooked every night this week and I am so proud of me. I took a week and a half hiatus. We were busy, we were away, I was lazy. Whatever. I'm back. And I'm trying new recipes. Apparently having an AC helps you not die of heat exhaustion when you cook so you don't mind it as much! Who knew?!

6. I think Big A thinks that this whole wedding planning thing is going to be Team K and he is just going to coast right through it. Heh. He's got another thing coming. Get ready Dude! We got some planning to do! Muahahaha.

7. Sometimes I miss my old job(s). Not in a I wish I still work there kind of way, but the "I miss all of the friends I made and the kids I work with and sometimes it really hits me that I know I am friends with people at work, but I'm not really friends with people at work. We won't be hanging out on the weekends, going out for a drink, etc." It makes me sad. I wish I could have both worlds. Sigh.

8. I have walked into one of the chairs in my boss' office every time I walk IN and OUT of it to talk to him. And he has almost peed himself laughing every time. Nothing like showing your boss that you are a fully functioning individual that deserves a raise by walking into stationary furniture. Yay me!

Aaaand that it! Not because I'm done, but because I have a crap load of stuff to do. Wah!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

So What! Wednesday

I'm linking up with Shannon over at Life After I Dew for So What! Wednesday!

This week I'm saying So What! if...

* I drank way too much Sangria last night. Good times with good friends calls for Sangria. It’s just science. *

* I have been shamelessly plugging the wedding contest that I entered Big A and I in. I’m a little competitive. Sometimes to a fault. So sue me. *

* I specifically chose the dinner that I made last night because I know it has low calories in it and I wanted to be able to drink as much Sangria as I wanted without going over. And I almost did it… I went over by 7…which isn’t bad at all. *

* I made plans with Jackums to go to the gym today and I regretted it this morning. To be fair… I made the deal before the Sangria. BUT, I told her I would go so I’m going to suck it up and be a big girl… not that she would take no for an answer…*

* I name EVERYTHING. My car’s name is Trixie. Big A’s truck’s name is Butch (I don’t dare name the Chevelle). Our new Parsley plant is Leroy. The bunny that lives in the backyard is Edgar. And the new wind chime I bought is named Martin Jr. (MJ for short). It’s just what I do. *

* I clean my desk at work maybe once a month. Every time I clean it, it gets dirty almost immediately given that I am working on 8,374 different projects at once for 2,535 different people. Meh. Although…it does need to be dusted. Really bad… maybe I should do that today. *

* I still get excited about date night with Big A even though we rarely go out for it anymore. I know that it is the one night of the week that I get him all to myself. We have dinner. We talk. Sometimes we just watch TV. Nothing big. Nothing fancy. But it is OUR time together, regardless of what the rest of the week looks like. *

* I’ve called Mr. Fresh Dogbert so much that now he answers to it. Whoops! He still answers to his name too, so I haven’t screwed him up too much! *

That's all for today. Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Contest Update

Sooo... I thought I was doing pretty good since I was stalking a couple of the other contest members, but I just got an update that some of the blogger brides have over 100 comments!

Yeah, I can't compete with that.

How about the fact that if I get over 100 comments...then I will provide my first ever giveaway?

Will that convince you?

It isn't technically a bribe. I just might be so excited that I got so many comments that I feel in a giving mood. (Please feel free to send suggestions. I'm open to them...Lord know I'll need them!)

Here's the website again in case you forgot: I get double points if you go to their Facebook page and comment on the comment I left there

(The comment part of the page doesn't appear unless you have Facebook access. I have heard of a lot of people having problems commenting because their work blocks Facebook and they are checking it there!)

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to win this. Thanks!

Wedding Nightmare... What a great way to wake up!

I had my first wedding nightmare last night. I remember running around trying to pretend that I was all cool calm and collected, but inside I slowly unravelling. I woke up breathing heavy, covered in sweat (which I never am), with a bloody nose.

At 5:00 AM this morning. Awesome.

In my dream it was my wedding day. I was getting ready, but then I remembered that I had forgot a bunch of things. I forgot to ask my friend Marie (my hairdresser) to bring someone along to help with the bridesmaid's hair so no one else could get their hair done.

I forgot the programs and the menus. I called up a company to see if they could have them printed in 3 hours so that they would be ready in time for the wedding. The couldn't (shocking). So I pretended like it didn't matter.

I forgot to buy a veil. So I went to a bridal store (that so happened to be in our venue??? which isn't a bad idea if you think about it), didn't have time to buy one.

My Groom was there. But, it wasn't Big A. I don't know who it was, but I had never seen them before in my life. In fact, most of his face is blurred in my memory. We were walking around all of the people before the wedding and I remember thinking that is wasn't right. That nothing was going right. That I had forgotten all of this stuff. And I was seeing the Groom before the wedding. And I was with everyone before the wedding, so there was no surprise when I walked out.

So I got out of there. I left. I went to a friend's house. (Another person I have never met before) All I remember is floating on my back in their pool, with all of my clothes on. And the friend's boyfriend came home and said "Did you ruin it all?" and I told him that it wasn't meant to be. That there was still someone out there for me. That is wasn't supposed to be like THIS.

And all I could think of was how much a disaster the entire thing was.

Holy Shit!

Are you freaking kidding me with this stuff? It's enough to make a girl want a glass of wine at 5:00 AM (I didn't have one in case you were wondering).

As upsetting as the dream was, I take comfort in the fact that the Groom wasn't Big A. Didn't look like him. Didn't act like him. Didn't feel like him. I knew it was all wrong from the first moment. So, at least the dream wasn't about him. And at least my subconscious agrees that there is no one else out there for me. Other than that... no freaking clue what the dream means.

Any dream interpreters out there? Anyone else have nightmares about their wedding? I'm waiting for the one where I walk down the aisle and find out I'm naked. That one seems like it is going to be a lot of fun. Ug.

On another note...I am continuing my plea to please please PLEASE vote for Big A and I in the video contest that we signed up for. All you have to do is go to our website and comment at the bottom. Or you can go to their Facebook page and find the comment I wrote (Kayleigh Quinn) and comment on that. Or you can do BOTH. Because they will each count as one. I would greatly appreciate it! I have a lot of family in Ireland that won't be able to make it to the wedding probably, and I would love to be able to send them something so they could really feel like they are apart of it.

And that's the end of my begging... for today. So go vote! PLEASE!