Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Teething at 16

I don't know if I have talked about this on here before...although I have probably mentioned it in my 8,000 whiny posts about having to go to the dentist...but I have an interesting set of teeth.

In fact, I find them kind of embarrassing. You see... it took me a long time to lose my teeth. In fact, the last tooth I lost I was 16 years old. And I still have two baby teeth...at the age of 26.

Imagine that. 16 years old. Sitting in Geometry class and I'm the cool kid that has to raise their hand saying that they lost their tooth and bleeding profusely. It was a big deal until they realized that I wasn't spontaneously spitting out blood, nothing major happened, it was just a baby tooth that I hadn't lost yet.

Then I got, "rinse your mouth out in the bathroom and go back to class".

You can chill with the attitude lady. I never said it was an emergency. I just thought I might excuse myself from class before I bled all over my homework. (Which has actually happened... kinda... I got a nasty bloody nose - which I get all the time - all over my Statistics midterm in college. Just to keep up my cool kid image).

Anyway, it sucked. I was embarrassed. It is kind of hard to keep your street cred and seem cool in front of your older boyfriend when you have a hole in your teeth... rriiiggghht up front.

Why am I blabbing on and on to you about my teeth?

I was talking with Kristen yesterday about her Little Dude and whether he was letting her get any sleep. She said that it was a little better, but that teething is hard and she can't even imagine what he is going through.

You see... these poor little kiddos have to go through the whole getting their teeth, losing their teeth, and replacing the old with new teeth. BUT, for the most part they don't remember it. Even when they are older, it is a blip on their radar because they are too hopped up on whatever sugar they ate that day to stop bouncing off the ceilings to pay attention. It is nothing to them,

The reality? It effing hurts.

Not constantly. Not all the time. But it is obnoxious as hell.

Think of getting a piercing... when they are sticking the needle through your skin and it is about to pop out the other side. Not imagine that the needle isn't sharp enough to get through right away. So you have to keep pushing. It hurts. It is painful. It's actually pretty effing annoying.

And that's just normal teeth! I remember when my wisdom teeth were attempting to greet the world. Only to find out that the geniuses were growing in almost sideways. That was fun.

So, when your little kiddos are screaming and crying. Keeping you up all night. Drooling all over the place. And you are maybe starting to consider leaving them on a doorstep... figuring they are pretty damn cute... someone will give them a good home (I kid, I kid... I know you aren't actually planning on giving away your child over teething, but you get the point) just remember that those little toofers hurt!

And if they could talk... they would probably tell you that they are in pain and maybe you could share that box 'o deliciousness (as KLaw so lovingly refers to it) because they hear that a little hooch dulls the pain... and then give them a couple extra smooches...and move the wine out of the way because we all know Mommy's don't share.

So... that's the perspective of a 26 year old freak who totally remembers what it was like to be teething. Luckily, I was old enough to know to swallow my saliva, so I didn't have to wear a cute bib like my younger teething friends... I'm pretty sure that would have sealed my fate in high school as an untouchable. Just saying.

Well.. I hope you enjoyed my little Tooth Talk. Feel free to e-mail me any questions... chances are if something goes wrong with teeth, I've been through it. Oh.. and also... that Orajel stuff is the shizz... total life saver.


  1. OMG this is great! I love it!!!!

  2. Love it! I still have two baby teeth as well LOL!!!

  3. Oh my! I can imagine. Poor things. And I "look" like I have baby teeth, but they are all adult, just EXTREMELY small.

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