Wednesday, February 29, 2012

So What! Wednesday

I'm linking up with Mrs. Shannon Dew for another lovely So What! Wednesday.

And while I am flying through the sky on my way to the fabulous Ohio, you all get to hear what I am saying So What! to this week.

You lucky ducks you.

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I prefer to be alone in the gym, purely because I apparently make wildly embarassing noises whilst running and I don't need any witnesses. Eek!

* I waited until the ultimate last minute to do everything I needed to for Ohio. A sink full of dishes, clothes that needed to be washed, packing, etc. I always wait until the last minute. Otherwise shit gets too real and I get sad. because I'm a big baby

* When I was showing L our registry and I noticed that the heading at the top said: Only 194 more days I kind of wanted to vomit. Normal? Let me reitterate for the MILLIONTH time... it has nothing to do with Big A... there's just so much to do, so many people will be there, all the money it is going to cost, and the worst part... the unknowns. Like:
What if I rip my dress?
What if it rains?
What if there is a hurricane and we lose power?
What if everyone thinks everything is ugly?
Etc. Etc. Etc.

* I am a freak show. See above.

* There is an intern that works in my area that may or may not be taking a spot that is rightfully mine, so I do what any mature professional would do and A) refuse to talk to him and B) refuse to use his name and refer to him only as "homeboy"

* I have a wine night this Saturday night AND Jackums baby shower on Sunday. To say this is going to be a long weekend is an understatement.

* I am wildly sucking at my job right now because I am waiting on 8,254 people to provide me with information that I need to know. And all I want to do is scream that none of this bullshit is my fault and everyone needs to step the eff up and get their shit done. But... I don't... and I sit here patiently... and sweetly tell people that they can get me their information at their earliest convenience. Ug. Kill me.

* My desk is a mess as usual. They say that a messy desk is a sign of a genius... obviously that statement is soooo true.

* I got mad at Big A when I told him that I wanted to get my nose re-pierced and he told me that it probably wouldn't be a good idea professionally. And told me that he has never seen an Executive with a nose piercing. I don't like being told I shouldn't do something. Boooo to Big A.

* I know he is probably right. Ug. My work has no tattoo or piercing policy, but I'm already a good 30 years younger than most people and have a hard time being taken seriously. I'm not sure a diamond sticking out of my nostril will scream PROMOTE ME. Boooooo.

Well... that's all my bitching and moaning for today. Now head on over to Shannon's blog and link-up bitches!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ohio Schmohio

Can I just start out this post as stating that I am a big gigantic baby? I'm aware. Now, let's move on.

I have to go to Ohio tomorrow and I am NOT looking forward to it.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm fine when I am there. I love the people that I work with in Ohio, and I get treated like a Queen while I'm there. Delicious lunches, dinners, and drinks.

BUT... the whole travelling by myself thing. The whole sleeping by myself at night.

No bueno.

That's the part that hits me. When I am saying goodnight to Big A and he is in our apartment and I feel like I couldn't be farther from home.

It's so lonely.

And me, being the super smart person that I am, offered to go to a training at the end of March too. So I'll be back there in a month.

The worst part is that I ALWAYS get stuck somewhere on the way back.

I remember one time when I was coming home from D.C. I thought I was so freaking cool because I had a direct flight and you can't mess with me.

Except there was torrential downpour, thunder, and lightening and I spent the better part of my evening sitting on the airport floor crying hysterically because I thought I would never get home.

True story. Gigantic baby.

I eventually caught the last flight out and finally made it home around 2 in the morning. It was awesome...not.

So, here I am on another trip and I'm hoping that it gets easier with time. I mean, I am a hell of a lot better about it than I used to be.

But then again, I was always that kid that got homesick and wanted my mom to pick me up at 2 AM. I want to believe it was more of that fact that it was so late that I COULDN'T go home that made me want to so bad. That usually has a big affect on me. As soon as you tell me that I HAVE to do something or that I CAN'T do something... I have never wanted to do the opposite more in my entire life.

Maybe I should work on that.

But alas... it is only for a couple days and I will be on my way home Friday morning. So it really isn't THAT bad. I just wish that I could take Big A and Mr. Fresh with me. I think that would make things a bagillion times better.

I just like my dudes to be around is all.

So, anyone else act like a gigantic baby when they have to go on a trip all by themselves? I think it would be different if it was for fun and not for work. Work stinks. BOOOOO.

Anywho... that's all my whining for that day. Be prepared to hear a couple more days of it, probably followed by an equally pathetic post about how I am stuck in the airport...AGAIN... and I just want to go home. Because it ALWAYS happens.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Weekend Recap

This past weekend was pretty fun.

Busy, went by WAY too quick, but fun.

Saturday night we had a little memorial meet-up for our friend John who passed away in December from cancer. It was nice to get everyone together again and just spend a night remembering him. Looking at pictures, telling stories.

Of course, it was blatantly obvious that someone was missing. I can't even imagine was craziness John would have brought to the table. He was normally the life of the party. Telling stories, making everyone laugh, pushing the envelope a little bit. That was one man who DEFINITELY lived life to the fullest.

We have plans to have some more memorial events for him. A friend of ours puts on a car show every year and we have already decided that this year's will be dedicated to John. It's our way of making it known that he may be gone, but definitely never forgotten.

Sunday, Big A and I woke up at the crack of noon and went to register for our wedding.

I have to admit. It was a little weird at first. Walking through a store and picking all of the stuff that you want people to buy you. It seems a little weird.

Then I felt like people were going to judge our registry. Like, take one look at it and laugh at how presumptuous we are that we actually thought someone would get us that item. I know.... weird.

But, it was fun to pick out all of the stuff we never got to before because we either didn't have the money, or stupidly thought we would only be in our apartment for a year and then would be moving on to buy a house.

It was also pretty hard too because since we DON'T have a house, it was hard to pick out certain things since we don't really know what we will have for furniture and decorations and such. So, there were a lot of areas that we skipped over.

They told us at the beginning of registering that you are "supposed" to register for twice as many gifts as there are guests invited.

Umm... holy shit. Really?

We definitely failed on that one. Big time.

We are also struggling with the whole thing of registering for nice china. I mean on the one hand... I'm sure it will come in handy some day. And I doubt that we would ever actually go out and buy it later in life. Plus, I'm sure that at some point in the future we will have a large group of people over for dinner and my OCD will go haywire because everything doesn't match.

On the other hand... while I like the idea of having a nice set of plates and such... the whole fine china thing just isn't my style. I like bold colorful things. And I can't find a single set that is pretty and colorful.

So... here I am at a loss. Any ideas, thoughts, opinions, etc. from other brides and former brides out there? What did you do? What did you get?

I apparently need all the help I can get. Thanks ladies!

Other than that Big A and I just hung out at home for a bit before I went to Sunday dinner at my parents' house. And now we are back to god awful Monday.

Booooo. Not looking forward to my Ohio trip on Wednesday, but whatcha gonna do right? Oy. Looking forward to Friday! As always....

Friday, February 24, 2012

Firm Friday: Week 7

This week I didn't do too bad. We had some stuff going on and I planned poorly so I had Wednesday and Thursday off from working out.

I did a killer workout I found on Friday. It is called the Bikini workout. And it has three levels so you can change it up as your body gets used to it. Love it. I mean it hurts like a bitch, but I love it. I followed it with 30 min of cardio (cuz they told me to) and was uber proud of myself for working out on a Friday night.

Then I went for a 2.5 walk with Mr. Fresh on Sunday. It was beautiful out and we both needed some fresh air. Once again, proud of me for working out on a Sunday!

Which means I worked out Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. Not too shabby.

Now onto this week...

I did my C25K on Monday with some weights with some new arm exercises that I found. The lowest number of weights that they have is 5 lbs and holy shit. But I don't have any upper body strength, so I'm probably just a baby. I'm doing it though.

Then Tuesday I did the new Bikini Body workout that I found, followed by 30 min on the treadmill. Now when I did this workout last week, I was pretty much dying the next day. I could feel every.single.muscle in my body. I mean seriously, I could feel the muscles in my ass cheeks standing still. Have you ever feel the muscles in your ass cheeks? Weird feeling. (TMI? Whatevs)

But when I did it on Tuesday, I wasn't too bad the next day. NOW. I know I'm not in a hell of a lot better shape than I was on Friday, so I think I phoned it in a little bit. I'll have to push harder next time. No pain no gain.

Weight: 175.5 (6.5 lbs) Loss of 2.4 (BAM Bitches!)
Arm: 12.5 (1 inch) Didn't do this week
Waist: 37.5 (3 inch) Didn't do this week

Thigh: 24.5 (0.5 inch) Didn't do this week

Hip: 40.5 (1 inch) Didn't do this week

6.5 lbs. Wow. I can't believe it. When I started MFP I was a little heaver too, so according to them I have lost 7.1 lbs. Which is amazing. Almost 10. I can't wait to hit the double digits. I think it will make everything seem a little more attainable since I am really hoping for a total of 30 lbs (maybe more) in total before the wedding. I have 6(ish) months which means I need to lose 1.25 lbs a week until then.

Attainable right? I'm more concerned with losing most of it before my first fitting which I believe is at the end of July. So, I still have about 5 months before that.

No bigs. I got this.

I think I have decided that I am only going to do my measurements every other week. And maybe pictures once a month. Just so it looks a little more exciting.

Next week I am in Ohio for work Wednesday through Friday (Shannon... drinks?) and I am hoping that I can get in some work out time while I am there. I looked ahead at the restaurant that we are going to for dinner and already found something healthy to get. I just need to keep an eye out on what I am doing.
Maybe I can get in some gym time before dinner? Or eat something light and go after. We will see. Here's hoping!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Our Tasting

Last night we had our tasting.

Ya know... the tasting for the wedding.

The one that is the cause of time going into fast-forward. Next time I blink it will probably be my wedding day.


I mean, this is all very exciting, but EEK!

I kind of freaked out a little about the tasting. I'm not going to lie. I have no clue as to what the hell was my problem, but the coordinator soon put a glass of wine in my hand and all was right in the world again.

Love her.

They had actually switched coordinators randomly on me. I'm sure you remember me bitching and moaning about it. I don't like change. I especially don't like it when people don't take the 5 seconds out of their time to give me a heads up about it.


Water under the bridge.


Because she is effing awesome. Seriously. LOVE her. I'm so glad, because if she was a psycho hose beast then I probably would have had to lay the smack down on SOMEBODY and got this situation fixed...ASAP.

Because I'm gangsta like that.

Anywho... so... my parental units came, as well as Big A's. We all sat down in this cozy little room and they brought out food, food, and more food. And wine. There was lots of wine.

And OH MY GOD, is everything absolutely delicious. I'm soo happy. There was some stuff that was so good we haven't chosen what we want yet. We couldn't. Both of the options were just so good.

We got a lot of stuff done though, which was good. We picked most of the menu. The linens. The chair cover sashes. How we want the tables. Etc. Etc.

It was also nice for everyone to get to see the space. If you remember how our first venue blew up in our faces and the woman who owned it turned into a psycho biatch, then you remember we had quite the scramble to find a new place. We were set on the time of year that we wanted and everywhere was filling up so quick. I had more than one venue that laughed at me on the phone when I asked what their availability was. A simple, we are all booked up would have been good enough... jerk.

So, I was the only one who went to see this venue. Yep. That's right. I went there. I scoped it out. I talked with the coordinators. Took pictures. Asked questions. Tore apart their contract until it was exactly how I wanted it. I did it all. By myself. I mean I'm sure I could have got someone to go with me, but we all know that I'm an impatient a-hole, sooo it needed to be done... like yesterday.

Luckily everyone liked it. I mean... not that they had a choice because everything was already settled, but still.

Sooo... we checked that off the list. Another thing down. THANK... GOD...

A million more to do. Ug.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

So What! Wednesday

It's been a week or two since I have last done a So What! Wednesday post.

I think I was going through withdrawals. Sad. I know.

So... here is goes. I'm linking up with Shannon over at L.A.I.D.

This week I am saying So What! if...

* We have our tasting for the wedding tonight and it STILL doesn't feel real. I mean I'm 12... I can't be getting married... right?! I'm intrigued to see how it will feel the day of when it is R.E.A.L!

* I have a bunch of projects going right now and I have completely abandoned all of them. Awesome. I'm sure I will get some surge of inspiration and bust them all out... hopefully.

*  I was mighty impressed with myself last night when I fixed the vacuum. I mean, it was just a broken belt, BUT I was able to fit a belt from our old vacuum on it, which was smaller. So I felt like I had mad muscles too. And now my house is vacuumed. BAM!

* It is bonus time at work. And I was uber excited about mine... until I heard murmurings about the crazy amount the big wigs get and it made me jealous. I mean seriously... some of them get more as a bonus than I make in a year! I know... I know... they have been here forever. But still... that green eyed monster is on annoying bitch.

* There's this guy that calls me at work all the time. And rather than just cutting to the chase, he tells me his entire life story every.time.he.calls. so... I may or may not put the phone down on my desk until I hear that he is actually asking me a valid question. I just can't deal.

* The cooks at work are out sick / on vacation and it bothers me. The fill-in people have no idea how to make my shit. I ordered my bomb ass sandwich yesterday and it was gross. He didn't make it right. It was partially because I ordered it a lil wrong, but the regular guy would have known exactly how to make it.

* I'm slightly annoyed that I hear that there isn't a fitness room at our new building. Now my cheap ass is going to have to sign up for another gym. And there aren't any real good ones around. And I'm cheap as hell. And I hate changing my routine. WAH.

* I am currently entered in 325,256,734 different "Bride" contests. I'm bound to win SOMETHING. This wedding is getting ex.pen.sive so now it is time for the cosmos to intervene and help a biatch out.

That's all for today ladies (and gentlemen?). Now head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tuesday Tidbits

Work has been uber boring lately.


It seems like only yesterday that I was tearing my hair out because work was insane and now....


That's the way that it goes around here. It's feast or famine. It would be lovely if it evened out to a steady flow of work, but that would be too easy wouldn't it.

The highlight of my work week has been that I tripped over air in the hallway and of course this guy that I tease all the time was right behind me. So he has had a field day with walking by my desk and pretending to trip.

I told him that it is tough walking in high heels and he can judge me when he's done it. So he came in this morning and told me that I was right, it is tough walking in high heels. I'm sure he's joking, but the mental picture just might get me through this ridiculous week.

I'm off to Columbus next week. Which is pretty exciting and terrifying at the same time.

I haven't seen the people I work with in Columbus in awhile and I'm excited to see them all. But, we all know what a gigantic baby I am travelling alone.

At least I stopped crying on the planes and now reserve that for when I am in my hotel room alone. Oy.

Big A is less than pleased. He is also less than pleased that I probably have to go back at the end of March as well. He's not a fan of my travelling.

I think it is a mixture between he has to take care of Mr. Fresh all by himself, when I mainly do the brunt of it; he has to fend for himself because the food and cleaning fairy stops showing up; and partly because I'm sure he genuinely misses me.

I miss him like crazy too. But I also think it is good for our relationship to have that time apart. I mean, normally, I'm home when he comes home. He knows I'm there. I don't do much during the week, other than Tuesdays with L and the occasional night out with a friend. I'm a bum. I like hanging out at home. I think it is good for us that every so often I'm not there. Ya know.

Keeps anyone from taking the other for granted. Makes us miss each other a little bit more. Spend some extra time together when I come home because we haven't seen each other. It's nice.

So that should be fun.

Other than that, there isn't a whole lot going on. Which I'm pretty excited about. With everything that we have to do for the wedding coming up, I think I am going to attempt to enjoy this slow-ish time.

Although, we are registering this weekend and I am UBER excited about that. I mean when else do you get to pick out exactly what you want for presents (other than when you have a baby, but that stuff is for THEM)? I mean it is a little weird. I feel like I'm saying "hey you, I'm getting married so you have to buy me this" but... we aren't going to go too crazy so I won't feel bad.

I'm allowing myself one little treat and I am registering for a hot pink stand mixer.

I've never had one and I've always wanted one. And it is hot pink. Seriously? Who wouldn't want it.

We've been living together for 2 1/2 years, so there really isn't much that we need. But it should be fun. Hopefully Big A is in a happy, cooperating mood. Maybe I'll bring a flask just to keep him entertained. Hahah. JK... kinda.

Anywho... that's all for today lovahs. I'm off to pretend like I am working diligently until it is quitting time.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Weekend, Effed up Dreams, and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Oh Monday...

The saddest day of the week.

What the hell is up with this whole weekend flies by thing.

Not a fan.

This weekend Big A and I took it kind of easy. Friday we had dins with some friends and Saturday we went out to dinner by ourselves to try out a new restaurant he had heard of.

Nice and low key.

But way too fast.

And now we are back on to Monday. BOOOO.

Anywho... pretty exciting... we have our tasting at our venue on Wednesday.

I understand that we are quickly speeding towards our wedding, and that should be "real" enough, but the reality of it all... is that sometimes it still feels like a dream. Crazy right? It should be fun though. Free food. Can't beat that.

Speaking of dreams.

Holy shit.

I don't know what I ate or took or said or did or watched or WHATEVER to dream this, but Friday night I had this incredibly graphic dream of this guy who was torturing and murdering all of these people.

And I mean GRAPHIC.

It was horrible.

I woke up at like 4 AM and was petrified to go back to sleep. I didn't want to go back into that dream.

I looked it up. And this is what it says:

"To dream that you witness a murder indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate."

Which is pretty interesting. But I can't think of anyone that I'm mad at. And the victims weren't anyone in particular. I don't think I even remember their faces. I'm pretty sure they were already dead. Horrible.

And then I looked up torture:

"To dream that you are being tortured indicates that you are feeling victimized or helpless in some relationship or situation. You feel that you cannot do anything. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you may exhibit some sadomasochistic desires."

Which doesn't really fit since I wasn't really involved. BUT, I have had dreams before that I was being tortured. And I'm pretty sure that it didn't mean that I had sadomasochistic desires.

Soo... I'm not sure how I feel about the whole dream interpretation thing on this one.

I think I just have effed up dreams.

Which has kind of been a blessing and a curse. Most people I know can't remember anything they dream about. And I dream vivid complete dreams that I remember every detail of.

Which is super awesome when...say... Mark Wahlberg pays me a visit, but not so awesome when there is a crazed serial killer on the loose and I am apparently his audience. OY!

Anyone else have crazy messed up dreams like me? Or have a clue what any of these dreams mean? Or have a sure fire way of how I can make sure that Marky Mark is by my side every night?

Hmmm.... Mark Wahlberg....

Friday, February 17, 2012

Firm Friday Week 6 (for me)

Aaand I'm back.

We all know that I couldn't stay away from Firm Fridays for long.

And now? I have an even bigger reason to stick to it.

My work is doing a six week weight loss challenge and the top 3 people to lose the most percentage of their weight win a cool $500.

Desperately poor soon to be bride + a little chunkier than she is comfortable with soon to be bride = a soon to be bride who has her eye on the mother effing prize.


So... we all know that I was sick as a dog two weeks ago, which equaled a big fat working out fail.

And then last week... well... we all know what happened by now.

So I was adamant about getting back in the game this week. I was pissed I had missed two weeks of Couch to 5 K and thought I had lost my momentum. And since I thought I was going to pass out at the thought of Week 5, I decided to re-do week four.

While using weights.

And I rocked it.

Took Tuesday and Wednesday off for obvious reasons. Kind of ate like shit, but I also don't know if I ate enough for it to be horrible. But... I was allowed. So whatever.

Thursday? Some weirdo in my work building was on the treadmill when I came into the gym.

A) There has only been one other person that I have ever seen use the gym. Therefore, I claim it as my own. Back on biznatches.
B) Dude was in full work clothes. On the treadmill. Weird.
C) Homeboy was walking at about a pace of 2. If you are going to steal my treadmill, you better be working it.

I ended up having a pretty good workout though. still put my knickers in a twist.

Anyway. You want the skinny. I haven't done measurements in awhile so here is the WHOLE skinny...or maybe not so skinny...

Weight: 177.9 (4.1 lbs) Gain of 1lb (UG)
Arm: 12.5 (1 inch) Same
Waist: 37.5 (3 inch) Same
Thigh: 24.5 (0.5 inch) Same
Hip: 40.5 (1 inch) Same

So, I've learned something. Apparently not working out for 2 weeks and eating like shit does nothing for your waist line. Go figure. Back at it again next week. Boooo!

Thursday, February 16, 2012


It's been a long couple days. A long past week. Seriously... I'm exhausted.

It was hard to say goodbye to my Grandy. I guess I just wasn't really ready to lose him.

But... I'm trying to put it all into perspective. Know that he is not in pain anymore and that he is home with his wife. It is what he would have wanted. I have to respect that.

I am, however, going to reflect on a couple of things that this whole experience has really made me realize. Or even reminded me of.

1) My family is absolutely amazing. Seriously. We are kind of all spread all over. My mom's two sisters live in separate towns in Mass, but neither is very close. My brother and cousin live together right down the street from my parents. And I have another cousin in Boston. The rest? In Louisiana (soon to be Colorado), Georgia, and Panama. We don't see each other often enough. Obviously. We get Thanksgiving and Christmas and due to now sharing holidays with Big A's family. We do NOT see each other enough.

So... despite the fact that it was really a crazy shitty reason for all of us to be together. I tuly enjoyed and cherished the time I spent with them. Just made me realize all over again how great they are. And that we are a wildly attractive group of individuals. I have no doubt that when we have our little rugrats they will no doubt be ridiculously good looking as well.

2) Big A.IS.MY.ROCK. Seriously. I could not have made it through everything without him. He let me cry, and scream, and laugh, and cry, and whatever...whenever I wanted or needed to. When I didn't feel like cooking, he got takeout or took me out to eat. When I need a shoulder to cry on, he was right there as long as I needed. When I needed him to take over some of the stuff that I usually do with Mr. Fresh it took it in stride even though it was wildly inconvenient for him. He took time off work to come to most of the wake. Hung out with my family. Made sure I was OK. And still managed to get me a dozen red roses and a super sweet Valentine's Day card because he knew that I would need it more than ever this Valentine's day.

He spent the entire day travelling with me and my family to Martha's Vineyard and back for the funeral. Drove the entire way. Paid for my gas. Paid for my food. Paid for my drinks, just so that I wouldn't have to think about anything financial since he knows that's the first thing to go when I am stressed. He is just seriously such an amazing person and I thought that I was crazy in love with him before?

Not even close to the love, appreciation, admiration, etc. etc. that I feel for him now. I don't know how I ever made it through anything before him. He's amazing.

3) I work with some pretty incredible people. My boss and the President of our company made the trek out to see me at the wake and to pay their respects. They met my parents and my family. Stayed and talked. And most of all made sure that I was OK. They didn't have to do that, but I am forever greatful that they did. It reminded me that they are great people and I'm not just some assistant that works there.

The point of all of this? I chose to use this opportunity to remember all the good that I have in my life. Some parts that I didn't even know about. And some that I knew, but I'm sure I took for granted at some point.

Soo... I'm doing OK today. I feel a little lighter. And glad to be back into the normal swing of things. My grandfather will never be forgotten and forever will be in our hearts. Love you Grand One.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Past Few Days

It has been a few days. But I think I am ready to be back writing.

I tried to write so many times over the past few days, but nothing came out that felt right. I wanted to write about something else. Something happy. ANYTHING else, other than what I had been going through. But it never felt right.

So... here I am.

I've been keeping busy the past few days. Thursday I did what any normal person would do and spent 6 straight hours cleaning my apartment. Big A said it looked like we just moved in. I can't believe how gross some things can get and you don't even notice.

Friday, I went to work, because what else was there to do. The house was already spotless. I didn't do much. I met up with J$ for lunch and the puttered around the rest of the day.

Saturday Ma Dukes and I met up for our usual Saturday activities. We drank coffee and shopped. I bought way too much stuff and we weren't even there to get anything for me. Oy. I did manage to find most of the bridesmaid jewelry, so that was mighty productive.

Saturday night, we went over J & N's house for a very grown-up dinner. Jack-ums and Hubby B were there along with J$ and Ry-dizzle. We were all sitting at the table together in N & J's gorgeous new house. It all felt very grown-up. I almost wanted to start a food fight just to feel a little better about myself.

Sunday, Big A and I did the normal. Slept in WAY past when we should. It was glorious. We went out for brunch and then were mighty productive with making a schedule of when we will be doing some important wedding stuff. I figured if we mutually agreed upon dates then he wouldn't be able to throw temper tantrums when I wanted to do them. I've learned with Big A that if you tell him he has to do something, it will never get done. You have to let him do it on his own time. So, I figured having him agree to dates would be the best way. This way, we get our shit done, and hopefully no fighting.

We'll see how that goes.

Speaking of the wedding. We hit the half-way mark. Last Wednesday. 7 months engaged (almost) and 7 months until the wedding. It was a bittersweet feelings. My phone went off minutes after my grandfather passed away. With an update from The Knot saying "7 MONTHS TO GO". It was hard... knowing that he wouldn't be there.

BUT, I can feel a little bit better knowing that he is at peace now. And that if he was still alive when the wedding came, then he definitely wouldn't have been able to come. At least now I know that he will be with my grandmother, watching together. That helps a little.

Moving along...

Sunday was spent keeping busy. Picking up the house a bit so it stayed clean. Working on some wedding stuff. Then it was time for family dinner. So Mr. Fresh and I packed up the car and headed over to my parents' house.

It was delicious. And my Nanny was there too, so it was nice to see her.

It was a nice little evening.

Now it is back to work. The last thing I wanted to do was to get out of bed this morning, but I knew I had to. I'm hoping to get back into running this afternoon. I know I won't be able to exercise for the next two days due to the services, but I think it will help me to get back on track. I'm trying to channel all of the shit that is swirling through my brain into something positive. Ma Dukes and I have a workout plan, so it will be good to get into that. Spending QT with my Mama and getting into shape.

Also, my work just started a six week weight loss challenge. The top 3 people to lose the most percentage of their weight wins $500. It is a good motivator and I could definitely use that money. So I'm going to go for it.

And yeah... that's been the past few days. I can't believe how these days have flown by. It still feels like yesterday my world fell apart.

But... I'm sure Grandi wouldn't want me lolly-gagging. He would be wanting me to get on with things. He was a no-nonsense man...well...except when he was trying to pull one over on you. Then nonsense was welcomed. Heh.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Missing You...

I've been pretty non-existent this week. I'm well aware.

I've been spending most of my spare time in a hospice unit visiting with my grandfather.

Soaking up every last minute with him.

And yesterday, I was there. Telling him I love him. Holding onto him. Telling him we would all miss him like crazy, but we would be OK.

That it was time to go home to be with his wife.

Yesterday, I sat there holding on to him as he took his last breathes.

I'm feeling a little heartbroken today.

The world lost a great man. A great man.

A proud Father and Grandfather. A World War II Veteran. An amazingly strong man, up until his last breath.

RIP Grandy. We will miss you.

Never forgotten. Forever in our hearts.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Our Love Story: FMTM Link-up

Wanna gush about your SO? Head on over to Becky's blog and link-up!

How long have you and your significant other been together? 
Forever. Not long enough. It depends on the day for how it FEELS. In realistic times though. A little over four and a half years. It will be five in May.
How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}
Big A and I met at a 50th birthday party. It was for the uncle of some friends of ours. He was friends with the older brother and I was friends with the younger sister. And I'm pretty sure there was some fate in there too. You can read the real story here.

If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}Not married...yet. According to my OCD wedding countdown... 7 months and 8 days... GULP.
If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding? If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?
We will be getting married at a local hotel. We really wanted it to be one stop shopping. We didn't want people to have to run around to find the next place to go. The wedding is...well...medium. It is currently bigger than we originally wanted, but we haven't sent out invitations yet, so who knows what the final number is. But... we also didn't realize how big our group of friends and family is...sooo... that's kind of our fault.

Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!I come up with a new nickname all the time. Babe, Bubs, Bub Bubs, Honey Bunny, Buns, Sweet Cheeks, etc. etc. Mostly just to be nauseatingly annoying. Mostly I call him Moose.
Name 3 things you love most about your honey.His passion. His sense of humor. His ambition. He is truly an amazing man. I never have to worry much when he is around because I know he's got me. Plus... the fact that I can 100% myself around him is a GIGANTIC plus too!

Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?Big A proposed on May 12, 2011 on our 4 year Anniversary. He proposed at home with just the two of us and our dog there. It was one of the most perfect experiences in my life. It was truly a magical moment. If you want the WHOLE scoop, here's the full story of how it all went down: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?Every Valentine's Day Big A gets me an incredible card (he's an amazing card giver, he always find the perfect one), a dozen red and white roses, and we have a special dinner at home. Then either the weekend before or after, he takes me out to a romantic dinner (we can't stand the V-Day crowds).

Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
I'm both to be honest. There are certainly some days/moods that I would want to be on a beach and some days/moods where I would be perfectly content with just sitting together on the couch and watching a move (well... maybe more so if we had a bigger couch).
Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
Honestly, at this point, I want to go on our Honeymoon to Florida. We have never been on a big trip together, Big A has never been on a plane, and we have never gone away for longer than two nights, so I'm excited that the first time we will be doing this will be as Husband and Wife. If all goes well with Big A's first plane ride (i.e. I can get him on one again) I would love to go to Ireland. He has family from there and I have family that lives there, so I think that it is important that he visits a place where our roots are so strong. I've been a few times, but I would LOVE to go back with my husband.
Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
We plan on doing what we do every year. I will make a delicious dinner of Crab Legs, rice, and veggies. We will pull out the dinner table which we eat on this one day a year ONLY (there's not a lot of room in our apartment for it) and just spend
the night with just the two of us... and a begging dog.
Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?
I never ask for anything for Valentine's Day. I think the day is more about spending time with the one you love and putting that above anything else for the day. I feel like it is the one day that you can put it as your top priority above work, bills, stress, life, etc. I just want my handsome man, that's all.

Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love. Honestly, people go back and forth talking about how your significant other shouldn't be your best friend, that it isn't healthy. I think that A) Your significant other should most definitely be your best friend; B) You can have more than one best friend; and C) They shouldn't be your ONLY friend. I can say honestly, that Big A is one of my best friends. I genuinely have an amazing time when we are together. I think that sometimes in a relationship, that passionate love can be stronger at times than others. If you don't have that friendship to fall back on sometimes, I think it would be hard.

Also, for the most part... you have to be absolutely crazy about them... otherwise... what is the point? Why settle for anything less than all consuming, butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, heart pitter-pattering love? Life is just too short.
Show us a picture of what love means to you.
This is love...
Having someone that I can laugh and smile with...
Having someone who I can be silly and be ME with...

 Having someone that can make you the happiest person alive with just one simple question...
Having someone love my dog as much as I do...  unconditionally... 
And having someone that I fall in love with all over again, every time I look into his eyes.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Firm Fridays: Week 5

This week was a semi-FAIL.

Monday I started feeling like a pile of flaming dog crap. But I was going to run anyway.

However, the cosmos aligned just right and I couldn't. I forgot my running shoes. And running in heels just ain't happening.

Then I came down with the plague and there was no way in hell that I was running. I probably would have passed the eff out if I tried.

So... exercise wise... this week is a BIG FAT FAIL.

But... at least I feel bad about it. Right?

Food wise. I was like a frickin' ninja.

I knew I wasn't exercising so I watched what I ate. And I was home instead of running around so I cooked.

Healthy things.

And apparently eating right and now shoving bottles of wine in your face all week pay off...


I lost 1.6 pounds. Which is pretty exciting all in itself.

It doesn't sound like much... but then I try to think of how much a pound of ground turkey is... or a pound of chicken... ew... imagine that as fat. Ick.

Total weight loss: 5.2 pounds.

Holleeeer! (yeap... most def yelled that in my bathroom this morning... good thing Big A is a heavy sleeper so I didn't have to explain).

I didn't do measurements since I was running late. Plus, who cares... I lost 1.6 lbs. Now hopefully I can keep it off when I'm not sick.

My plan... no drinking during the week. (Except maybe 1 glass if it fits in my cals on Tuesdays with L) and I'm going for the 4 day work-out again next week.

Hopefully, I won't be sick.

Secondary goal... not to go over cals on Super Bowl Sunday.


Alright biznatches... back to working I go. Hope you all had a good FIRM week!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bridesmaid Dress Recap...FINALLY

Continuing with the picture catch-up... let's recap the Bridesmaid dress appointment that happened... well... far too long ago for me to be recapping it now.

Let me start out by saying that the day that we were scheduled to go for our appointment... was one of the few snow storms that Massachusetts has had. It was only the second time of the winter that Big A had to go plow (well...technically the first storm was in the Fall).

Anywho... my girls are effing troopers. They all made it. Without a single complaint. They all rocked their appointment and found amazing dresses. (Like I said before, I let my girls chose their own dresses) Even the Pregos came out in the storm even though they already had their dresses. friends are pretty awesome.

Now on to some pics...

L and her fab dress. Loves it. I also love that hers is a different neckline that most every one's so she stands out a little more as MOH. Please note this is NOT the color.

Pickles in her beautiful dress. This was one of the colors that I tried to get Big A to agree too, but he was dead set on no purple. I guess it IS his wedding too... a little bit.  

J$ in her dress. Love love love. And this is the actual color of all of the dresses.

 My lovely sister-in-law-to-be. Love her dress too! She's such a trooper as I made her pose a million times!

The Motley Crew

Now one with the bride awkwardly scrunched in front of everyone!

My girls with the moms. My mom is on the far left and Big A's mom is on the far right. No wonder we are both ridiculously attractive people. Just look at our MOMs!!!

Aaaand another one of me getting a killer thigh work out.

After the dress appointment, we all headed out to lunch. It was still snowing pretty good, but it was nice to continue our wonderful time together. Big A's mom looked around the table at one point and said, "Now when will we all be together again"... and it made me sad to think it would be awhile.

I mean the dress appointments and the Engagement Party are over. Which means that the next time we will probably all be in the same place is the Bridal Shower... unless I can scheme some way to get us all together again.

One of the wonderful things about this wedding is that I have friends from all walks of life. Some knew each other already, and some had met once or twice but that was it. And through these past 8 months of our engagement, they have been together so many times that it is like we are all one big group of friends. It is an absolutely amazing feeling that my entire group of friends has fully melded.


Ok...enough of the mushy crap.

And to continue with Bridesmaid dress tradition... do you remember these Bad Larrys?

I found these ridiculously on sale when I went with Mrs. C and Jackums to get their dresses. BUT they were a half size different and it was the last pair that the store had. So... I broken heartedly returned them.

THEN... I found them online... but the $150 price tag was a bit steep.

Until... I stalked the website for long enough that I found a 50% off coupon code and jumped at the chance. It wasn't as good as the original $40 price tag, but $75 was a hell of a lot better than $150.

I wore them to Mrs. C's gender reveal party and they are just as saucy as I thought they would be. I know you can all rest easy now, knowing that I have found them and we are together again.

Welp... there's my Bridesmaid Dress recap... FINALLY. I'll try to be a bit better with these recaps. Especially since part of the whole awesomeness of blogging is to keep track of all of these amazing moments in live. And since I have the tendency to forget whether or not I put my zipper up... I'm doubting my ability to remember all of the great details weeks later.

Soo... I'll try to be better.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

So What! Wednesday

I'm linking up with Shannon this week for So What! Wednesday.

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I stayed home from work today. I woke up this morning and COULD not fathom getting dressed. So I sent my bosses an e-mail and crawled back into bed.

* I'm slightly pretending that I need to rest so I am all set for my huge meeting on Monday... but we all know it is because I need to be ready for the Super Bowl. YEAP!

* I did my tax return on Monday and may or may not have made up my own dance moves when I found out how much I was getting back. We haven't had a lot of snow this year so this was a nice unexpected surprise...and 95% of it is going right into the wedding account.

* Sometimes I get annoyed when people ask me how the wedding plans are going. I swear that they only ask me after something has hit the fan. Like when I found out they doubled the price for the lights I need for centerpieces making them WAY too expensive... and then 30 seconds later I get a phone call and the first thing the person says is "how's the wedding plans going?"

* I feel bad that I just said that. I'm excited about the wedding... I am. I just feel pressure to pretend that it isn't stressful. That this is supposed to be the most magical time of my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm SO excited about the wedding and I can't wait... but that is about marrying Big A... not that I found the perfect stationary. Ya know.

* I have become a little intolerant at work lately. I think I am just over the bullshit. I'm too stressed and busy to play some of the games people play. HOWEVER... I need to check my shit at the door because I am pretty sure that my annoyance is becoming MORE than noticeable, which is totally not professional.

* I told Kristen that she was nuts for being upset about not being able to workout last week because she was sick and now I am going through the exact same thing. I was doing so good and now I am so disappointed that I'm not going to make any progress this week. And if I backslide... I might cry.

* I am trying to figure out how to make my low cal corn chowder recipe without washing the gigantic sink full of dishes. I'm pretty sure it is impossible, but if there is a way I will figure it out.

* I got offended when my new coordinator sent me a reminder e-mail about selecting food for our tasting. If she knew me at all, she would know that this wedding is my bitch and I am on this. I do not need reminders. But... she doesn't know me. She's never met me. She is just the random person they threw me with after working with someone else for the past 5 months.

* I can't let go of the fact that they changed my coordinator. I will get over it. I know. BUT, I hate the way they handled it. Plus, the fact that I booked the places pretty much because of the coordinator. This chick better be on it or heads are going to roll.

Alright... I think that's about it. Now it's your turn. Head over to Shannon's blog and link up!