Thursday, February 16, 2012


It's been a long couple days. A long past week. Seriously... I'm exhausted.

It was hard to say goodbye to my Grandy. I guess I just wasn't really ready to lose him.

But... I'm trying to put it all into perspective. Know that he is not in pain anymore and that he is home with his wife. It is what he would have wanted. I have to respect that.

I am, however, going to reflect on a couple of things that this whole experience has really made me realize. Or even reminded me of.

1) My family is absolutely amazing. Seriously. We are kind of all spread all over. My mom's two sisters live in separate towns in Mass, but neither is very close. My brother and cousin live together right down the street from my parents. And I have another cousin in Boston. The rest? In Louisiana (soon to be Colorado), Georgia, and Panama. We don't see each other often enough. Obviously. We get Thanksgiving and Christmas and due to now sharing holidays with Big A's family. We do NOT see each other enough.

So... despite the fact that it was really a crazy shitty reason for all of us to be together. I tuly enjoyed and cherished the time I spent with them. Just made me realize all over again how great they are. And that we are a wildly attractive group of individuals. I have no doubt that when we have our little rugrats they will no doubt be ridiculously good looking as well.

2) Big A.IS.MY.ROCK. Seriously. I could not have made it through everything without him. He let me cry, and scream, and laugh, and cry, and whatever...whenever I wanted or needed to. When I didn't feel like cooking, he got takeout or took me out to eat. When I need a shoulder to cry on, he was right there as long as I needed. When I needed him to take over some of the stuff that I usually do with Mr. Fresh it took it in stride even though it was wildly inconvenient for him. He took time off work to come to most of the wake. Hung out with my family. Made sure I was OK. And still managed to get me a dozen red roses and a super sweet Valentine's Day card because he knew that I would need it more than ever this Valentine's day.

He spent the entire day travelling with me and my family to Martha's Vineyard and back for the funeral. Drove the entire way. Paid for my gas. Paid for my food. Paid for my drinks, just so that I wouldn't have to think about anything financial since he knows that's the first thing to go when I am stressed. He is just seriously such an amazing person and I thought that I was crazy in love with him before?

Not even close to the love, appreciation, admiration, etc. etc. that I feel for him now. I don't know how I ever made it through anything before him. He's amazing.

3) I work with some pretty incredible people. My boss and the President of our company made the trek out to see me at the wake and to pay their respects. They met my parents and my family. Stayed and talked. And most of all made sure that I was OK. They didn't have to do that, but I am forever greatful that they did. It reminded me that they are great people and I'm not just some assistant that works there.

The point of all of this? I chose to use this opportunity to remember all the good that I have in my life. Some parts that I didn't even know about. And some that I knew, but I'm sure I took for granted at some point.

Soo... I'm doing OK today. I feel a little lighter. And glad to be back into the normal swing of things. My grandfather will never be forgotten and forever will be in our hearts. Love you Grand One.

1 comment:

  1. Our prayers are always with you, my friend. Take each day as it comes. One step at a time.


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