Monday, April 30, 2012

Weekend...Firm Monday?...and 5K Prep

T minus 6 days people.

6 Days until my FIRST 5K.

To say that I am nervous, is an understatement. I keep having dreams that my feet will barely move, like I'm trying to run through quick sand. Everyone else has finished the race and it has been hours and I still can't make it.

Freak out much?


I know I said that I was going to do Firm Friday, but I was too busy having a pity party for myself, so I decided to keep my melo-dramaticness to myself.

You're welcome.

Things have been good. Steadily progressing. I've been at this ish since the beginning of January and so far I have lost 14 pounds.

Unfortunately, that means that it was pretty much like a pound a week.

You know what they say. Slow and steady wins the race. OY.

BUT... 14 pounds isn't anything to scoff at. It is about halfway to my goal. And even if I don't lose everything I want to, I've still kicked some weight-losing ass.

Today, I plan on doing my first run outside. I found the course for the 5K online, so I'm going to try running it and see how I do. I am UBER bored with my workout routine, so I think it is time to try something different. I get so bored running on a treadmill. I think (hope) that it improves my time!

After the 5K, I'm going to switch up my stuff a bit. Because I am BORED. I'm also going to try the kick ass ab workout that Shannon suggested. (I'd give you the link to the post, but she's still blocked at work and genius over here left her Ipad at home). Because I need to tone like it is nobody's business!

Also, if anyone has any other routines that they like, pleae feel free to send them along. I need to tone my arms, my stomach, and my thighs. Shocking I know.

Wish me luck today. Hopefully, I don't pass out on the side of the road. That would be embarrassing.

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I for one spent it doing nothing really. Bridal Shower here. Lunch with Mrs. C there. I finally watched Dear John for the first time and most definitely cried my little sensitive baby eyes out!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Kicks to the Cajones

Sometimes I feel like I can't catch a break.

Seriously, a series of events will happen and by the end of the day I feel so beaten down and defeated. Then something else will happen and I can't help but laugh because honestly there has to be someone behind all this, watching me squirm.

Giggling with a tub of popcorn in their hand.

There's some seriously shiesty stuff going on at work. On one level, I am angry. I feel let down and played. I feel like I was lied to. I feel like someone was just blowing smoke up my patootie just to placate me into silence. Ug.

On the other hand, I feel like I work in the corporate world and this is the kind of stuff that you have to deal with. There are games that are being played and you are either one of the players, or the one getting played. That nothing is guaranteed and you can only trust yourself. You need to make moves for YOURSELF. Because no one else will do it for you.

I hate that second feeling. I don't like playing games. I don't like dishonesty. I want to look and talk to someone and not have to interpret what they are saying or wonder if they are just giving me a speech. I HATE it.

I left work yesterday feeling deflated. Wondering what I was going to do with myself from this point on, because something has got to give.

I had a brief time of excitement, as I was meeting Big A to pick out my wedding ring. Which I did. And it was beautiful. And I may or may not have tried to calculate how fast I could run and if they would catch me before I got to my car. Then I wondered if that was bad wife behavior. Thinking about stealing from a jewelry store and leaving Big A behind to take the fall (because he did NOT pick up on my psychic messages).

I got home, started some laundry (with the ridiculously priced coin-operated machine in the basement of our building) did some cleaning and started getting the house in order.

Cue dog throwing up on the rug. Mind you. A) I feel bad that Mr. Fresh was throwing up. He obviously didn't feel good... BUT B) We have a 5X8 rug in our house. That is literally the only rug we have (well... there's an ugly one in the hallway by the door, but feel free to puke on that one) and he had to puke THERE. Right on the edge. Next to the floor. 2 inches away from easier cleaning. Ug.

I get that cleaned up. Finished what I was doing and then grabbed our sheets out of the dryer. Hmm... what is that minty smell you ask? That would be the gum that some asshat left in the dryer so it was now smeared all over my previously clean sheets. UG. We only have ONE pair of sheets, since Mr. Fresh likes to slice and dice them when I go on business trips.

So... I spent my time scrubbing it off with warm water and a toothbrush. FUN.

Not to mention during all of this time, I completely forget that dinner even exists and not only did I not MAKE anything, but there was nothing even remotely close to cookable since it was all a block of ice in the freezer.

Cue Big A taking me out to dinner.

Oy vey.

I had a moment like this last week. That I felt like I just couldn't catch a break to SAVE MY LIFE! I was texting with N as I normally do (because apparently we are obsessed with each other) and I was whining and complaining and then thought... wow... this could be so much worse.

I have my health. A job. A roof over my head. Friends. Family. They are safe, happy, and healthy.

It could be SO MUCH WORSE. Someone else out there can't catch and break and they possibly need to to save THEIR lives.

I read these blogs of these people struck with horrible tragedies. Wives, husbands, children... who are sick or have died. Out of nowhere. Leaving them without anything. People losing their homes and loved ones to natural disasters. Losing EVERYTHING and STILL appreciating what little they have.

And it is in those moments, that I like to be thankful for what I DO have. I try and tell myself that this too shall pass and that I will be OK. That I am LUCKY to have what I have. To appreciate every moment that I have with my friends and family.

And then I let myself whine a little bit more and agree that it does suck, but I'm OK. And then I give myself a little bitch slap to the face and get over it.

So that's what I am doing today. I am bitch slapping myself in the face, putting on my big-girl panties, and getting over it. Because life isn't fair. But it sure as hell could be a lot worse.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

So What! Wednesday

Alright... so work has apparently listed every blog that I read as a sex website.
A) That sucks. Does that mean I am going to have to read everything on my Ipad? That's obnoxious
B) It better not last long. There's some sites they don't ban forever
C) What have you dirty birds been writing about that makes them think you are inappropriate
D) I'm wondering when IT is going to call me and ask why I am repeatedly trying to get on porn sites. Ug.

I may want to call unemployment... just to get a heads up on the process.

Anywho... enough about the sexy sexy. It's So What! Wednesday!

I'm linking up with the wonderful Shannon (who as you read yesterday is the original blocked website).

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I've wanted to call out of work this week 3/3 days. Ug. I just can't take work right now. It annoys me. (And now that they are blocking my blogs, I really want to stay home)

* When I get nervous about the wedding it feel like it is practically tomorrow, but when I start to get excited about it, it feels like it is a million years away. I wish my crazy brain could settle on a middle ground.

* I really want to throw a temper tantrum about the fact that a Florida honeymoon is on hold. We both deserve it and it SUCKS that we don't get to do it. Hopefully, we can find time and money to go later, but it's just not the same. Wah. I know.

* The new guy at work came over to talk to me and I immediately felt bad that I labeled him as a drone because he is actually a really nice and friendly guy. Ug. I hate that sometimes my first reaction is to be an anti-social asshole. Guess I got to work on that one.

* I am so mother effing excited that Jackums will be having her baby any day now. Like, so excited I can't even take it. Come on out Baby Girl! Auntie K wants to meeeet yoooou!

* I think that I have some issues to work on if the words "mother effing" (could be worse) are the words that come to mind when I am talking about a baby. Maybe I should work on that whole swearing thing before I have kids of my own.

* I'm pretty sure that one of my kids' first words will be the F word. I'm not proud of that, it is just a fact. Anyone that knows Big A, knows that is a very real possibility (and let's pretend that I won't be to blame either)

* I went to drop off the scam "labor inducing cream cheese" to Jackums at the old daycare that I used to work at and I missed it... bad. It's OK to miss it... as long as I understand that I can't go back unless I win the lottery.

* I've been buying those $1,000 a week for life scratch tickets every week... I'm bound to win something sometime. Right?

That's all for today Lovahs! I'm off to go make that cheddah...or at least make it look like I'm too important to fire over attempting to look at "sex" sites at work.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Running Running Running

OK... first of all... I would really like for work to unblock some of my favorite blogs, labeling them as: Sex.

C'mon people. It is quite obvious that I am not looking at dirty websites at work, so seriously, chill out. (And if you are wondering who the lucky ones they labeled as: Sex... Life After I Dew and Mama Laughlin... I'm guessing for the L.A.I.D. and MILF references)


Yesterday, I vowed to get back on the healthy train... and then my boss threw a temper tantrum and I had to go to lunch with him. To a Chinese food restaurant with the best buffet ever. Oy. So many bad decisions were made.

I still made myself run though. Partly because I said I would and partly as punishment for having no will power. I definitely paid for it. I may or may not have almost vomited my vegetable lo mein whilst running.

Too graphic? Sorry.

So, I also decided that I needed to complete a 5K. Whether I ran the entire thing or not, I was not stopping until that monitor said 3.1.

I started with my 5 min warm-up (which I won't when I'm doing the actual 5K) and then ran as much as I could, taking a couple breaks, and running as much as I could at the end. I finished in 37 minutes and 28 seconds. Not awesome, but not horrible for the first time that I am trying.

The plan... (and I say this more to hold myself accountable than to entertain you so feel free to skip this one) is to run at least 4 times this week on the treadmill.

Then next week... the plan is to run at least 4 times on the race course that I will be doing on Sunday the 6th. It's right near my work and on my ride home, so I figure why not. Plus... I have never ran outside before and I know that is a whole different ball game.

I don't know what my goal is. Let's say... that I hope to finish it within 35 minutes. That seems pretty doable. Right? If I can do 27:30 with a belly full of MSG then, I should be able to do 35 when I've prepared. Right? Right.

So here we are... T minus 12 days and counting. EEK!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Slacker Reformed

There's nothing that I want to do more on a rainy day, than cuddle up in my covers, sleep in, and watch some TV.

And since it is POURING today... that seemed like the perfect idea.

Except, I've been a hardcore slacker for the past two weeks and I need to get my arse back in gear.


I have ran twice in the past 2 weeks. TWICE in 14 days. Way to go me!

And I've been slacking on the eating right... which was evident when I lost 0.3 pounds last week.

Oy vey.

I have my first 5K in 13 days and I need to get my butt in gear. My running has been piss poor and if I don't want to embarrass myself, then I need to get my act together.

I mean... for the most part I have been doing pretty well. I can not run longer than I ever have in my ENTIRE life. I am down 14 pounds. My old pants BARELY fit now. To the point that I just had to go out and buy new clothes so that I don't accidentally moon someone at work (which almost happened on Thursday).

That's great. Wonderful. I am so incredibly proud of myself. I have done MORE than I ever thought I was capable of. Really.

BUT... the battle ain't over friends.

I'm halfway to my goal, which means that I still have a long way to go.

I still need to train for my 5K. Get more in shape.

I'm hoping to join an actual gym soon so that I can work the machines to tone up as well, because as much as I have lost, things still jiggle. Yuck.

So, today it starts... again.

I am going to try to eat right.

Run at least 4 times this week.

AND add in some other types of work outs. I've been having a hard enough time getting my running in, and then I just leave. Which is better than nothing, but it isn't the sweat drenching, muscle burning, workout that I am looking for.

So... I am listing it here, so hopefully it keeps me honest. At the end of the week, I'm hoping to talk about how much of a rockstar that I was this week.

Which means... I need to start doing Firm Fridays again. It kept me honest because I couldn't wait to brag about how great I did... because I'm an a-hole like that.

Well my friends, those are my goals for this week. I hope you all had a fabulous weekend and your Monday is a little less rain ridden than mine!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Blabber Blabber Blabber

Happy Friday My Lovelies!

I don't know about you, but I was definitely working for the weekend this week (anyone else sing that while you read it? No? Just me? Cool).

I feel like these weeks have been DRAGGING and I can't even deal with it.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the weather is finally nice and I want to be anywhere but AT work.

I filled my day yesterday with doing mindless wedding things. We got the groomsmen gifts settled. I found one last item for the bridesmaids (minus the earrings that I still can't decide on), typed up the ceremony (insert hot mess in tears here), e-mailed the JP, worked on the guest list, and worked on our check list.

I felt very productive.

I also found a little extra wedding jewelry that I desperately NEED (thanks Kristen). As well as my garters. I now just need to order them all.

I am still desperately hoping to win the lottery, but alas I have not. Boooo.

We still have a couple appointments that we need to make, mainly the cake and I still need to find a wedding ring.

Blah blah blah.

I think we have decided to hold off on the honeymoon. Well... at least planning it. We were getting a bit stressed about the cost with it and making sure that we have enough to cover the wedding. It was just bringing on too much anxiety.

So, we have decided to just put it on the back burner for now. If our saving is better than we planned, then we might still go when we planned. But, if it isn't, we were thinking maybe early next year.

Who knows.

We just want to make sure that we don't stress ourselves out planning for the wedding and this was a huge stressor.

Hopefully it will work out, but if not that's OK too. We were thinking of going away for the weekend somewhere. Kind of a mini-honeymoon.

I think we will figure it out when it gets closer. It's a major bummer, but whatcha gonna do.

Other than that, things are trucking along. Starting to pick up again and get busy, which is fun.

And that's my long winded wedding update for the day. Hope you all have a fabulous weekend and I will see you lovely ladies on Monday!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

So What! Wednesday

Gonna be a quick one today folks... it's staff meeting day.


I'm linking up with Shannon over at L.A.I.D.

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I put one of my favorite glitter nail polishes on my toes because I plan to get a pedicure this weekend. I LOVE it, but it is a bitch to get off, so I figure they can do it. They are the professionals, right?

* We have a giant infestation of disgusting huge, fat spiders outside of our door and it freaks me out every time I walk through it. BUT, I won't let Big A kill them either. I feel bad. Maybe they will just go away.

* I have turned my living room into a gigantic mess of boxes. We have all of the wedding stuff there and it is multiplying by the minute. It drives me nuts, but we have no where to put it. And I already have so much crap at my moms... so... I guess we are stuck with it.

* I'm supposed to be in hard core training mode since I have my first 5K in 18 days, but I have run twice in the past 7 days. Whomp whomp. I'll be better. I promise.

* I keep talking to Big A about Jackums baby like it is my own. He apparently felt the need to remind me that it really isn't my baby and I can't steal her. Pshhh, what does he know?

* I nearly peed my pants laughing last night when Big A stated that we should use bald eagle feathers in the invitations so that "people know we are serious about the wedding" BAHAHAHA. That guy is insane. He cracks me up.

* I want to do ANYTHING right now other than go to my staff meeting. HATE staff meetings. Blech. Here's hoping people don't feel like talking today.

That's all for today folks. Now head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

My Celebrity Doppelgangers

When Raven over at A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers decided she was going to do a "Who's Your Doppelganger" link-up, I knew I was down.

I had a little trouble getting the first site to work, so I went on MyHeritage. Which was a little better. (Please excuse the crappy cell phone pics)

This is what I got:

Vince Vaughn. Really?

Donny Osmand?

Rowen Atkinson (anyone remember Mr. Bean)

Aaaand Carl Jung. Yeap.

Obviously, they couldn't find any women attractive enough to match me, so they had to come up with those silly men. Jealous website!

When Raven posted this website. I knew I had to try again:

OK. Not too bad. Some attractive ladies in there. And Will Smith? Please tell me it isn't because of my ears!

Then I figured... if I use a more attractive picture, then maybe I will have more attractive results

Apparently not. I have half a mind to crawl under a rock.

Sidenote: When did Fred Durst become a little attractive again?

And that my friends is the list of my celebrity doppelgangers.

In real life? No one compares me to anyone. Someone at work told me that I looked like that girl in Easy A


Want to know your celebrity doppelgangers? Then visit the site above and head on over to Raven's blog and link-up. (Or just read about how hysterical she is and how ridiculously handsome her boys are)

Monday, April 16, 2012


Sometimes, things in life get hard.

Let's be honest. Sometimes in life things fucking suck.

There's no way around it. There's no way to avoid it, you are just in a horrible point in life and those are the facts.

And most times, in those situations, there are two options.

1) You can pretend like nothing ever happened. Brush it all under the rug. Pretend that it isn't ripping your heart out. Pretend that it isn't tearing you up inside. Put on a smile and move along.


2) You have to take the hard road. The road less travelled. The road that isn't fun. That isn't easy. That is more work than you ever thought you had in you.

That decision sucks. There is nothing that makes you want to be 5 years old again, sitting on your mom's lap, hugging your Teddy Bear MORE than those moments.

But, those are the life defining moments. Those are the moments that make you who you are. Those are the moments that define friends. That define the weak from the strong.

Unfortunately, that second road, doesn't exactly make you a popular person. It hurts people. It angers people. It blows things up quicker than you ever imagined. And sometimes it feels that no one else knows that you HAVE to do this. That you HAVE to walk down that road. Because you owe it to no one other than yourself to be HONEST with your feelings.

Friends come. Friends go. And through life those moments define who will stay and who will go. Because those who understand that you need to take the hard road. The ones who understand that you would be lying to yourself and everyone else if you pretended that everything was find. Those are the ones who stick around. Those are the ones who support you. THOSE are the ones who offer you their hand and walk down that road with you. Not because they have to, but because they WANT to.

Because they fully understand how hard it is for you. Hard much it hurts. How much you would rather everything be all sunshine and roses, but it can't be.

Those are the ones who truly hold your heart.

That's not to say that the others were never true friends. It just means that at some point in life, as we change and progress. As we mold more into the people that we become. Some get it. And some don't. And it is sad to see those who don't get it. You mourn the loss of the friendship and the love that was once felt. But, you can't fault someone for not understanding you. Because then you would be faulting them for how they are. Sometimes people just don't end up on the same page.

Or the same book. The same shelf. Sometimes not even the same library.

At some point, you need to just appreciate every moment you had with those people. The memories you shared. And thank them for being with you thus far in the journey.

And then take the hands of those who are still by your side and work through the rest.

Because sometimes, all you have is moving forward. You can't go back. You have to own your decisions and own yourself.

And those are the moments that you find, at the end of the day, you are 100% comfortable with yourself. Even when it is hard. Even when it isn't easy. Even when it hurts. Because at the end of the day, when everyone else is gone, and everyone else has fallen asleep, you are alone with you.

That's the person you need to be honest with. YOU.

Weekend Recap

Oh Monday. How I loathe you.

I've decided that if I want to change this whole having to go to work thing, then I better hit it big. Quick.

So I've been buying scratch tickets. Yeah... nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I'm bound to hit it big eventually. Right?

This weekend we celebrated the upcoming arrival of Baby C. It was nice to get together with everyone and catch up and of course see the prego herself, Mrs. C!

The food was great, the people were great, and everything looked adorable. Her mom and mother in law (and everyone else) did a great job putting everything together. I was highly impressed.

I can't wait to see little Baby C! Couple more months!

I then conspired with Jackums because she is due like any second, so I am attempting to make her go into labor. Apparently there is this "labor inducing" cream cheese sold at a store near us that is supposedly fool proof.

We had high plans of going there, but they aren't open on the weekend. And now they aren't open today. Which sucks.

Eh. At least we tried.

In other news things are coming along nicely. The invitations should be delivered today. Along with some other stuff for them, which means that we should be able to put them together soon. Not that I need to. I mean, I have a month and a half before I have to send them out. Which is crazy.

I made it through last week with the new COO coming and driving way out to meet with my boss. That week damn near killed me from everything. It is nice to have a fresh new week and feel somewhat optimistic that it isn't going to suck ass as much as last week.

But, then again... I am only a couple hours into Monday, so it is pretty easy to be optimistic.

Today is a pretty calm day. No one is in the office really. Most people have the day off, so that's nice. I plan to play a little catch-up from last week and then be a total slacker. Sounds like a wonderful Monday.

I do need to get my arse back to the gym though. I have my first 5K in a couple weeks and I ran once last week. Good job me!

Hope ya'll had a fab weekend too! Smooches.

Friday, April 13, 2012

A Little Life Lesson

So today has already worked its way out to being an interesting one.

I had to go to one of our other offices today, which is over an hour away from my house. I'm not a huge fan of the drive, but the roads aren't too bad, so I pretty much just get to rock out for an hour in my car and get paid for it. And reimbursed for mileage. Tough life.

However, today there was a shooting/hostage situation going on in the next town over from the office and I spent my morning pulling over to the side of the road to let the 8 million state police cars whizz by me.

I tell ya. Nothing makes you want to turn around and go home more that the ever so obviously presence of police cars speeding by you with a sense of urgency.

I listened to the news on the radio and found out the details about the situation, which only made me more uncomfortable. I had no idea where the incident happened, but when I passed a sign stating that I just entered the town that it was going down in... I definitely got nervous.

Following the horrible report of the New Hampshire Police Chief who was killed in a drug raid last night, 7 days before his retirement, it really makes you wonder how safe we really are. I mean all of this is happening in small, relatively uneventful towns... what says that my town isn't next.

And I know I'm getting a little heavy here, but it really makes you wonder what is going on with the world. Big A watches the 11 o'clock news every night and I constantly express my hatred for watching such depressing news right before bed. It certainly doesn't do anything for my wish for sweet dreams of Mark Wahlberg.

I get scared when I hear about these horrible tragedies that effect the lives of these innocent people so intensely. ANd then I feel guilty as I silently thank God that it wasn't my family. I just can't even imagine what it would be like to go through any of it.

I guess it is a lesson to go home and kiss your family members and be thankful for every second that you get to spend with them. Who knows when it will be your last.In one brief second your entire world can be ripped away.

A little deep for a Friday folks. And I apologize, as I'm sure you would much rather be hearing about my drinking excursions. But sometimes, you gotta just take a minute to gain perspective on everything. And my lesson of the day is to never take what you have for granted.

I am thankful that I have an amazing family. A Fiancé who is more than I could have ever dreamed of. A group of friends who are always there for me in the best and worst of times. I'm a lucky girl. And I want to always remember that.

Have a great weekend my lovelies. Enjoy and appreciate every precious minute.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Jumble Jumble

You ever have one of those weeks where you keep looking around for someone to jump out from behind the bushes and yell "PSYCHE!" (remember Psyche... from the 90's... coolest catch phrase ever).

Yeah... welcome to my week. It's like a complete other dimension. Another planet. Straight bat shit craziness.

But... on the bright side... today it I only have today and tomorrow and then it is the glorious weekend again.

Because Lord knows I need me some weekend.

Today our new COO (Chief Operating Officer) is coming to visit our office. He is in from Ohio and is making is rounds to see how we do things in good 'ole Massachusetts.

I've met him before, when he was a General Manager and he seems really nice. But, of course, everyone seems a lot less scary when they aren't your boss' boss. Yowzas.

So, I spent extra time making sure that I look presentable today. I might even clean my desk. I don't want to go overboard in the presentation, because I know my boss will notice that I'm not a hot mess at the current second and tease me for it. He's such a great guy! Haha.

It is unfortunate that this is the day that he decided to come in the office. Because as N told me, I need to get ridiculously wasted. It shall have to wait N, it shall have to wait.

That's the part that sucks about being a grown-up. Gone are the days that you can just drink your problems away and then call out of work the next day due to your massive hangover.

Although, for the most part... I used to just go into work hungover. Good plans. I enjoy punishing myself. I always figured that if I was enough of an idiot to drink that much on a work night then I needed to suffer through the day. Although, I've never met a hangover that a Starbucks coffee and breakfast sandwich, paired with Dominos thin crust pizza for lunch, couldn't cure. I'd be feeling like a million bucks by 5 PM and then was ready to do it again.

Good life choices.

Have I officially made you feel like I'm an alcoholic? Because I swear I'm not. Funny thing is that this week is alcohol awareness week at work, and I find myself talking about drinking more. Good timing. I'm pretty sure my intervention is schedule for tomorrow afternoon. Maybe they will do it at the end of the day so I can get a drink after. Heh.

Anywho... in unrelated non-drinking news, I got an e-mail saying that the invitations will be here Monday. I texted Big A to tell him there is no turning back now. Because if he wasn't sure before, the fact that our names are printed on a piece of paper makes it final. Sorry Big A, you snooze you lose. You are going to be looking at this mean mug for the rest of ya LIFE!

I feel like I am making good progress which is wonderful. I'm still working on my healthy plan and am currently down 12 pounds. Who knew I had it in me to do it, but it was in there somewhere I guess. I am almost at my halfway point and I have about 18 pounds to go. I remember when the full 30 pounds seemed so daunting and now it seems totally doable. And honestly, I have Kristen to thank for kicking my ass. I never would have started this if it wasn't for her Firm Fridays. I swear I'm going to buy her a present when I lose the full 30. She kept me honest and I appreciate it.

Other than that, I am looking forward to going to Mrs. C's baby shower this weekend. It will be great to see everyone, plus I just can't get over her belly, so it will be fun to see that too. I plan on bringing some special items with me to attempt to make Jackums go into labor. I have decided that I want to be responsible for making her go into labor. I better start researching. Anyone have any "going into labor tips" (and don't say sex because I can't and won't help her with that. I love her to death, but I have to draw a line somewhere).

And that's about it. N is capturing me and making me do manual labor at her house this weekend, which I could pretend that I mind, but I don't. It's usually fun and she's good company. Plus, I get to paint pretty things.

Alright, lovers. I'm out like a trout. Adios.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

So What! Wednesday

I haven't participated in So What! Wednesday for a while, but now seems like a better time than any.

I'm linking up with Shannon from L.A.I.D.

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I spent the last hour of work yesterday decorating the page I planned to take notes on for the book club at work rather than actually trying to read it. Eh, maybe tomorrow I will be prepared to start.

* My boss had me order everyone winter jackets with the company logo on it for everyone and I thought he was nuts. But when it arrived today I made my own cat walk to model it for everyone. And then wore it for the next 2 hours.

* I have put more effort into our invitations than I have with anything in regards to our wedding in a long time. I like DIY projects, and this is one thing Big A gave me full control over. Silly man.

* I spent so much time and effort into putting together the collage for our Engagement pictures and it has been sitting on the floor in our living room ever since.

* I no longer feel bad about stealing my neighbors Cosmo since I found her man friend letting her dog shit in our yard again today. I wish these neighbors would realize that there is a big difference between our yard and theirs. Maybe the fence and gigantic trees in between will somehow make them notice one day.

* No one is in the office today and I am LOVING it. At the risk of sounding anti-social, sometimes it is nice not having to talk to anyone about anything.

* Sometimes I wonder if anyone would notice if I just didn't show up for work. Or just walked out. I mean other than the overly involved grumpy mail guy who likes to blow up my spot, no one seems to care where I am or what I am doing.

* I leave my house every morning about 10 minutes before I have to be at work. And it usually take me 20-25 minutes to get there. See bullet above. No one cares.

And that's all the love I've gots for you today. Head on over to the fabulous Shannon's blog today and link-up!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Instant Karma

Anyone suffer from the terrible condition of instant karma?

Seriously, the second I try to do something bad or mischievous, it's over. There's karma to come and slap me in the face. I will be the one who steals something from someone thinking I am soooo funny and turn to run away and smash my face into a tree or something. It's that bad.


1) On Easter. My brother was talking to me and I did my usual thing, being as hysterical as I am, and I started to make fun of him. I no sooner was patting myself on the back for my witty behavior, when I started choking. On my own spit. Yep. Instant.

2) I was in a particularly bad mood one day and Big A just so happened to be the only one around. Poor man never stood a chance. He said something that obviously rubbed me the wrong way, to which I promptly bit his head off and walked away... right into the bed post, smashing my knee. Instant.

Yesterday was no different.

I went to get the mail and noticed that there was a Cosmo in my mailbox. I tried to think back to see if I signed up for it (since I questions whether or not I should every month and often forget that I order/buy things) and couldn't figure out why I was getting it.

Turns out it belonged to the girl next door. The girl that constantly brings her dog over into OUR yard to let him go to the bathroom. Which A) is rude. We would NEVER bring Mr. Fresh into someone else's yard for that. B) Drives Mr. Fresh nuts because he immediately has his spidey-sense go off and has to go out PRONTO to pee all over everything and C) Continues to be rude since we have asked her to stop about a million times and she STILL does it.

So, I figure... Karma is a bitch. I was just on my way to the grocery store and now I saved myself $5. Heh.

I'm walking into my apartment thinking how awesome I am with my fresh new Cosmo and I start opening up a letter I got. To which I then get the nastiest paper cut of my life on my middle finger, right in the web between fingers, that is now stinging and bleeding all over the place.

And the kicker... when I was ready the magazine (because now I have EARNED it) every time I turned the page my ring would move and hit the cut, causing it to sting once again.

Instant. Effing. Karma.

So obnoxious.

But that's life I suppose. Always there to give me a quick bitch slap in the face whenever I get out of line.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter Weekend

This weekend was a fabulous one.

Friday, I went out to dinner with N, J$, and Jackums. We had delicious Mexican food and margaritas (except for Jackums. We just poured spicey food down her throat hoping that it would make her go into labor... fail). We had a lovely night of girl talk and it was really great to just catch up. It was one of the last few times I'm sure we will all get together before there's another little lady to join the crew, so it was nice to have those moments. It is crazy how much is going to change in the next few months!

Saturday, I spent a wonderful day with Ma Dukes. We got some errands done that we needed to do and then we headed out for an appointment with the Skin Lady. She was amazing. She told me all of this stuff that I need to be doing to keep my face nice and healthy for the wedding. She also gave me a little makeover and some makeup tips. It was so much fun. And Ma Dukes spoiled me rotten getting me all of the fun stuff to keep my face fresh and clean! Thanks Mama!

Saturday night, Big A and I went to a bon fire with some friends. It was fun to see everyone, but we faded quickly and were home by midnight. It had been a long week for both of us so it wasn't any surprise that we weren't able to party all night.

Sunday was Easter... obviously. We went to Big A's parents' house. Most of his side of the family was there as well as my mom, dad, and brother. It was nice to have everyone in the same place.

We talked about all of the craziness that is going to happen by the end of the year. Big A's cousin is pregnant and due in July. Then we get married. Then his aunt is due at the end of September. It is going to be a BIG year in that family. So much going on! Just means that at Christmas I will have not one, but TWO babies to play with.

My plan is to make everyone else have babies so I can get my fix there and hold off on my own. Ya know... until they come out with extensive studies that wine is actually GOOD for pregnant woman. Big A told me not to hold my breathe, and I told him I wasn't getting pregnant until they do, so he better hope they come up with something soon. Bahaha.

After that, we spent the better portion of the evening sitting like lumps on the couch. We were EXHAUSTED. It was nice to just sit and relax. Of course, we did what we always do and stayed on the couch until like 10:45 so we went to bed on the later end and I was feeling it this morning. Sometimes I wish I could just call out sick because I don't feel like going to work.

Or win the lottery so I don't HAVE to go to work. Yeah... that's what I want.

That was my super exciting weekend. Yesterday marked 5 months until the wedding. The fact that our countdown now says 4 months... XX days... makes me want to hide under my desk. I started putting a list together of all of the crap that I still need to go. Unfortunately, it is going to be gigantic by the time I am done with it. Booo.

Anyone want to pay for a wedding planner? Because I could totally use the help!

Anyway... Happy Monday Biznatches!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Firm Friday / Wedding Ish

Hello Lovers.

Oh what a glorious Friday. I feel like I earned this Friday.

This week damn near killed me.

BUT, I live on.

On the fitness front, I've been doing pretty well. My attempt to shock my body back into action by spending two weeks at 1400 calories and then going back to 1200 seems like a big fat fail. I feel like it is too early to hit a plateau. BUT, I've been eating crap and doing the same workout over and over, so it seems pretty standard.

Yesterday, I FINALLY moved on from the two 10 minute intervals for the Couch to 5K. Yeah... the 9 week program wasn't working for me. I'm STILL working on it. But alas, I have made progress. I just got on that damn treadmill and ran. By the time I was ready to give up, I only had 3 minutes left. I told myself the pain was temporary and that if I already ran for 17 minutes, then I could do 2 more.

Also... I shaved about a minute and a half off my mile time from Monday to Thursday. I don't know if it will stick around, but at least I know I am capable. I am well on my way to being able to RUN a 5K.

Haven't really lost anything in 2 weeks. I'm still impressed that I didn't GAIN anything in Ohio. That is a feat all in its own. Word.

I know that I need to get to the grocery store and stock up on healthy foods so I can get back on the horse. I feel like my body has been changing, but don't have any proof, the numbers are the same. But, I feel great!

I'm looking forward to Easter this weekend. PRAYING for nice weather. I'm excited that I get to see a bunch of Big A's family that I haven't seen since Christmas. Crazy to think how much is going to change between last Christmas and the one this year. Big A and I married. His cousin is having a baby in July. Big changed people. Big changes.

On the wedding front, I ordered our invitations last night. I can't even tell you how strange it is to see your name on them. It was unreal. Kelli and I checked 8,000 times for mistakes and I don't think that we did any. Crossing fingers that they turn out as beautiful as the sample. Otherwise, heads will roll.

I'm beyond pleased with our choice and I think that they will go perfectly with the feel that we are going for. I can't wait to show them!

I also know that I need to get my behind in gear on some other things. I need to pick out my ring. We need to do our cake tasting. AND we need to book our honeymoon. Hopefully we can get those done between now and Mayish.

I need to get started on the DIY projects that I want to do. So, I should probably get those in motion. I want everything done before I send out the invitations, so all I need to worry about after that is seating charts and place cards.

SHIT... I need to do the table cards too...

I love when you think you are almost done and then you remember the 8,000 things that you still have to do. Oh the joys of wedding planning.

Anyways, that's all I have for today. I have a fabulous lunch date with Miss Jess so I should probably get some work done before that.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Wedding To Dos

Hello My Lovelies,

I somehow managed to survive my day yesterday. I have a BILLION things to catch up on, but at least it is all over. There was little to no calamity, so I would call it a success.

(Sidenote: Does anyone else use Danny Tanner's method from Full House to spell success? You double the C and double the S and you will always have SUCCESS!... no?...just me?....ok...)

Today is a very lovely day indeed. Today is the day that I order our wedding invitations!!!

I'm so very excited to do so!

I fell in love with some when we first got engaged, but as we discussed our budget, we decided we would try to go with a cheaper option. Of course, Michael's is having a sale until the 7th on their MiDesign invitations, so we are saving about $100 on them!!!

I likes me a good deal. So I couldn't pass it up. EEK!

I'm madly in love with them. I can't wait to order them and then work out all the small touches that I want to add to them. I want them to be a little unique ya know. Not just some cookie cutter thing that came from a website. But don't worry.... I've got help.

I e-mailed my coordinator for advice on wording and descriptions, and she was so fabulous to e-mail me back telling me that she was sure I would do just fine, but gave me some suggestions anyway. And I have the fabulous Kelli coming over to babysit me to make sure that I don't fluff it up.

If there is anyone who is as OCD AND craft-savvy as myself... it would be her. I'm pretty sure that we are somehow related. Or clones in different bodies.

I'm excited to get this checked off my to do list.

Not much more to go!

I can't believe that it will be 5 months on SUNDAY! I'm pretty sure that when I see that ticker on my countdown display 4 months, 30 days.... I'm going to have a heart attack.


But... then so far away. Big A and I can't believe how time has flown. Next month, we will have been engaged for a year! It feels like yesterday! Craziness.

The other couple things we need to do soon are: I need to pick out my ring, we need to book our honeymoon, and we need to pick out our cake. I have a style I have in mind, we just have to pick out what kind we want.

Which isn't bad.

Then I should have some downtime before I have to put the invitations together, send them out, book appointments, etc. etc.

OH... and Ma Dukes has been very insistent on the fact that I need to develop a beauty regimen before the wedding, so we don't have any surprise skin issue the day of. This was obviously not at the top of my list, but seeing as how my skin is so sensitive and I have already burned the crap out of it before ONE wedding (I was in my cousin's wedding and tried ProActive for the first time. Literally burned my skin the MORNING of the wedding. We had to go light on the make-up since my skin was so raw and my face was red and bumpy. Thankfully, it was TOO apparent in pictures. But it took a good two weeks and a couple layers of skin peeling off to return to normal. I still curse the commercials when they come on.) I think Mama is wise on that one.

So, Saturday, we are going to a skin lady and she is going to provide me with everything I need to make my skin beautiful and glowing. And if it doesn't work... well then I have a bomb ass make-up artist so... I'm sure she can work wonders.

Well... that's all of the wedding babble for today. Catch ya'll on the flip side.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Meetings Meetings Meetings

Hello Lovers!

Keeping it short and sweet today. I'm in an all day meeting followed by an evening reception that has been literally sucking the life out of me.

I can't wait for today to be over. But, alas I still have 10 hours left.

Don't be jealous.

As I don't have much time I will just share a couple bragging points of my day.

1. Boss man wants me to take on more of a role in meetings. Bad news is that takes away from my slacking time, but good news that it might lead to something in the future.

2. I ran my fastest mile last night. Not awesome, but getting there.

3. I'm wearing a pair of my "I swear to God that I will one day fit into these" pants today! BAM!

That is all. Back tomorrow with a vengeance.

Smooches Bitches!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Guess What I'm Gonna Do?!?!

Guess what Bitches?!

I did something yesterday that is completely out of character for me.

Something I never imagined that I would do.

Something I never imagined that I could do.

I signed up for not one, but TWO 5K's!!!

I know right. Insane.

The first one, is in a month. May 6th to be exact. It is just a local one, which I think will be a bit less daunting them some big thing. They have the course online so I plan on running it a few times before the big day. I'm pretty excited.

The other one is the Color Run. Never heard of it? Take a gander here.

Looks effing amazing right? I've been stalking their website and Facebook page, begging them to come to Boston. Well... apparently enough people bugged them because they announced last week that they were coming!!!

And so exciting... it is on a weekend that I CAN go. I was going to do the New York one, but it was too close to the wedding. Definitely wouldn't have time to drive to New York!

So... yep. TWO 5K's. I feel like a freaking animal. A fast one... like a cheetah!

And... I've been struggling with the Couch to 5K training schedule because I could barely get the two 10 min running intervals done. I mean I was STRUGGLING. So, I decided that there was no point in moving forward when I could barely do this. So, I kept at it. And kept struggling.

Last night? Effing KILLED IT! Seriously. Those two 10 min intervals? Child's play. NOTHING! I could have gone longer. Woo!

So, I'm going to give myself a couple more days to run that and then I am moving up to one 20 min interval. Then it goes 25, and then 30. I can definitely get there in a month. I just need to up my running to about 5 days a week if I want to do this right!

I want to not only complete it, but run it at an acceptable time. Although... I will just be impressed by completing it.

Hmm... maybe I should just set a goal to complete this one and then I can focus on improving before the next one.

Of course, now I need to find something to do between May 6th and July 28th. Maybe a June 5K?

I'm pretty excited. And pretty proud of myself for how far I've come. Today is a good day (although now that I said that it will blow up in my face... as per usual).

That's all for today! Off to actually try to get something accomplished at work.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Weekend Recap

Aaand I'm back.

Given the fact that last week literally beat the living crap out of me, I decided to take a few days off. I had nothing nice to say, so I figured it was better to bitch and moan to my geographically close friends than to torture all of you lovely ladies.

This week will probably be as insane as last, but at least I'm not in Ohio for most of it, so that it s plus.

The weekend was a good one. It is Big A's Birthday today......... Happy Birthday to my handsome man! (Not that he ever reads this, but if he does, then I will get extra points!!!) so I made sure to spoil him rotten!

Well... as rotten as I could when every single penny I earn is going into the wedding fund.

Friday, I totally cheated on my diet and made tacos. They were calling to me. I couldn't help it. I figured not having the supplies in the house would make things easier. But no... I got in my car and drove to the grocery store to get everything. Apparently, my inner fat kid won that night.

Saturday, Ma Dukes and I set out to finish registering. Big A was mighty well behaved when we went to Bed Bath & Beyond and he helped with all of the big stuff, so I gave him the free pass on Target. And my lucky mother got dragged along with me. She's such a peach.

Who knew that registering with Alex would be so much easier! Keeping that woman's attention on the task at hand rather than shopping was IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Haha. I kid. I kid. She wasn't that bad. I can't say I blame her. We spent two hours walking around the entire store and looking at EVERYTHING they sold. So, really it could have been a lot worse. Good thing we skipped clothing and accessories!

Two hours and one bloody nose later (yep, I'm that cool), we were done!

We don't have a whole lot on our registries, but we have been living together for 2 1/2 years, so we have most everything that we need. Also, the other stuff that we would need we can't really buy until we are in a house because we don't know what it will look like. So, we did the best we could. Registered for some fun stuff, and that was that.

I must say, I'm glad that part is over. It is hard to get into because at first you feel bad about asking people to buy you stuff, but once you hear the first few beeps of that scanner... it's over.

You all of a sudden decide that you are going to be this crazy cupcake/dessert maker and you need all of the stuff to do it right! Which I did... because I decided that when I have a house, and a kitchen that is bigger than 2X2 then I am going to make the greatest things! And force feed them to other people, while somehow maintaining my girlish figure. True story.

Anywho... I took Big A out for his birthday Saturday night. With a couple of his friends. I was planning on doing this whole thing and going out and inviting everybody, but Big A just asked to keep it simple. So, I respected his birthday wishes and we had a lovely little dinner.

Sunday, I let Big A do is wandering thing. It WAS his birthday weekend afterall. Haha.

He went out and did some guy errands (I never know what he does when he is out driving around... I'm sure he tells me, but eh. I know at some point he was helping to fix a door handle. That's all I know) so I went to visit Prego Mego # 1.

I spent some good time catching up with Jackums and chatting about life and the arrival of her sweet baby girl. Then I supervised her walk because A) I wasn't done chatting and B) I wasn't going to let a 12 month pregnant person walk around town by herself. I had visions of her going into labor and being stuck on the side of the road. So, I tagged along.

Which just gave us more of a chance to talk. And I have to say, that girl was trucking along. I'm pretty sure that I would be permanently glued to my couch so much that they would have to use the jaws of life to get me to the hospital, but nope... there's Jackums just trucking around town like she isn't about to give birth to a baby any second. She's nuts!!!

Unfortunately, our plans for a walk to induce labor didn't work and Baby M was still quite comfortable in her little home.

Until next time Baby M... Auntie Kayleigh WILL force you out if she has too.

This was all followed by a lovely family dinner and that was it. Weekend over.

Tonight will be some more Birthday celebrations for the handsome man and then onto the week from hell. Yay!

Hope ya'll had a great weekend too!!!