Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Instant Karma

Anyone suffer from the terrible condition of instant karma?

Seriously, the second I try to do something bad or mischievous, it's over. There's karma to come and slap me in the face. I will be the one who steals something from someone thinking I am soooo funny and turn to run away and smash my face into a tree or something. It's that bad.

Examples:

1) On Easter. My brother was talking to me and I did my usual thing, being as hysterical as I am, and I started to make fun of him. I no sooner was patting myself on the back for my witty behavior, when I started choking. On my own spit. Yep. Instant.

2) I was in a particularly bad mood one day and Big A just so happened to be the only one around. Poor man never stood a chance. He said something that obviously rubbed me the wrong way, to which I promptly bit his head off and walked away... right into the bed post, smashing my knee. Instant.

Yesterday was no different.

I went to get the mail and noticed that there was a Cosmo in my mailbox. I tried to think back to see if I signed up for it (since I questions whether or not I should every month and often forget that I order/buy things) and couldn't figure out why I was getting it.

Turns out it belonged to the girl next door. The girl that constantly brings her dog over into OUR yard to let him go to the bathroom. Which A) is rude. We would NEVER bring Mr. Fresh into someone else's yard for that. B) Drives Mr. Fresh nuts because he immediately has his spidey-sense go off and has to go out PRONTO to pee all over everything and C) Continues to be rude since we have asked her to stop about a million times and she STILL does it.

So, I figure... Karma is a bitch. I was just on my way to the grocery store and now I saved myself $5. Heh.

I'm walking into my apartment thinking how awesome I am with my fresh new Cosmo and I start opening up a letter I got. To which I then get the nastiest paper cut of my life on my middle finger, right in the web between fingers, that is now stinging and bleeding all over the place.

And the kicker... when I was ready the magazine (because now I have EARNED it) every time I turned the page my ring would move and hit the cut, causing it to sting once again.

Instant. Effing. Karma.

So obnoxious.

But that's life I suppose. Always there to give me a quick bitch slap in the face whenever I get out of line.

1 comment:

  1. Hahah wow! I try to keep everything on the nicey-nice to prevent these types of situations from happening. Good reminder to kill 'em with kindness or karma will come ready to fight.

    ReplyDelete

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