Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday's Letters

Friday's Letters. I missed you last week. I promise, we will never be apart again.

Well, that's just a bold faced lie, but whatever.

Anyway...

Dear Boss Man, please don't think that my recent behavior is an indication of my work ethic. Writing "shit" in a report was one thing, but I SWEAR that I actually sent it in this week (without swears) and it must have just disappeared into the abyss of the Internet.

Dear N's Cat, I don't know what the hell was into you last night, but we are pretty sure that you saw a mouse. Do us all a favor and find that mouse and put it humanely outside before I come over there again. Seriously, I don't do mice. Fix it.

Dear Mr. Fresh, sometimes I think that you ACTUALLY get what is going on and understand everything that we say. Barking at Big A last night when he said you like to eat poop is one thing (for the record, Mr. Fresh doesn't eat poop, wouldn't want him to get offended reading this), but then you totally snubbed me when I said that you were picky. Really? Why so sensitive?

Dear Google Searchers, while I normally enjoy seeing all of the weird shit that people google, this time it seems to have gone too far. Please take a moment and check out the search keywords that get people to my blog:
Yeah... you see the 4th one down. WTF?! Out of pure curiosity I searched it. It is disgusting and disturbing. Don't do it. And obviously, my blog didn't come up. I don't even want to know what post made them find it.

Dear Readers, want a sneak peak from the Bachelorette weekend?
1. My dress for dinner. 2. Personal coozie. The only way to drink.
3. My special glass. The only OTHER way to drink. and
4. The jug of wine that my brother's girlfriend brought with her on Friday and it was gone
by the time we went out to dinner Saturday night. Oh how I love her.

Dear Week, please be over soon. Working 5 days is for the birds. Which is also a lie because I had a half day on Wednesday. I just don't want to work. Shocking.

Dear Weekend, please be so much fun. And don't make Kevin Lemanowicz a liar. I better not see any rain. (Sidenote: when googling how to spell his name, I came across a website asking whether or not he was a cyborg, of course I HAD to check on it. Turns out it was just some guy talking about how many hours he works and how attractive he is. In a "non-gay" way of course. As he puts it.)

Dear Wedding, 15 days? Really? Slow the eff down my friend.  

Dear Future Guest Posters, THANK YOU SO MUCH for agreeing to guest post while I am away with my brand new hubby celebrating our newlywed status. You girls are the best!!!

Dear Patriots, do me a favor and don't play how you played on Monday. It was a tad embarrassing. You all know that you are better than that. And let's go ahead and get rid of those "Superbowl Hangover" rumors as well. I'm STILL getting over the hurt of losing, but I'm willing to let it go if you don't suck this season. OK? Thanks!

Alright lovers. That's all she wrote.

Smooches!

1 comment:

  1. I always find the search terms hilarious, haha! But that one is definitely weird. I can't believe it is only 15 days until your wedding. Crazy!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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