Thursday, August 2, 2012

Wedding Nightmares

Let's talk about Wedding Nightmares shall we?

You see, apparently, you don't go through enough stress of planning a wedding during the waking hours. Worrying about RSVP's, seating plans, place cards, money, making sure everything goes just right.

Oh no, no no. NOW I need to go through it at night too.

Which isn't a surprise. I mean, I have always have VERY vivid dreams and I have been having nightmares about the wedding since around the one year mark.

Well guess what.... tthhhheeeeeyyyyy'rrreeeee baaaaacccckkkkkk!


So, last night I dreamt that I was walking around my "parent's backyard" (I have no idea where this was, but it was supposed to be my parents' backyard) in my wedding shoes (apparently breaking them in) and my wedding dress (because you can't wear the shoes without the dress?).

I look down and notice that all of the color and fabric are stripping off my shoes. So there are just patches of color, white, and dirt.

Just then some woman comes into the backyard (I think I kind of knew her in the dream, but no mother effing clue who she is in real life) with her dog. And the dog runs around the entire yard and then runs straight for me. He then jumps up on me and rubs his paws all over my dress. There was mud. Mud EVERYWHERE!

I promptly burst into tears and run inside calling for my mother (because every woman will ALWAYS want her Mama in situations like this) while the woman just stares at me asking what is wrong. All I could keep thinking was that my dress and shoes were ruined and I didn't have any money to replace them.

Which I'm sure connects to the issue that our final payments are due soon and we are struggling a little bit to get the last little bit of money. I mean... I have to say, I thought we were going to be a lot more screwed than we are. It really is only a matter of a couple hundred dollars (if my calculations are right) and that's nothing a couple of weeks of PURE SCRIMPING and penny saving won't fix. (Holy shit! We might actually pull this thing off!!!)

But seriously, I'm not stressed out enough in my daily life? I have to go to bed and dream about this bullshit? I mean... what about winning the lottery? Or everything turning out perfect? Or Big A magically turns into Channing Tatum at the alter? (OK, I am TOTALLY kidding on that one. I mean, as delicious as Channing is...I wouldn't take anyone over my Big A...he's my rock. But don't tell him that, I want him to know I have Channing... hahahaha)

Oy vey. I must say, as much as I am looking forward to the wedding (well... let's be honest I am looking forward to the part of the reception when I can eat and party...up until then I am going to be a hot mess) I am also looking forward to all of this bullshit being over with. I want my brain back. My time back. My money (although I do feel kind of rich at the moment, though I can't touch any of it. Maybe the day before I have to pay everyone I will rent a room and convert it all into pennies. Then I can swim in it Duck Tales style...with the theme song playing of course!)

OMG! What?! You don't know what Duck Tales is? Watch and learn. (For those of you who DO, just enjoy!)

Yes. That is what I shall do. I am off to find that sweet ass bathing suit that he has so I can really play the part.

Well, that's all the whining I have for today my lovely bitches! I am off to actually go work and pretend that I spiked my coffee. Sometimes I think if I actually convince myself that there is alcohol in it them I might actually get drunk. It's like what happens to stupid high school girls who are drinking O'Douls. It's all the power of suggestion my friends.

Peace out my lovelies! Until tomorrow! WHICH IS FRIIIIDDAAAAAYYYY!!!!


  1. This is pretty much the most awesome post ever! I felt like I was in your dream. omg stressful city! And I like the idea of pretending your coffee is spiked. I'm eating my grapes (you know, fruit till noon 4LIFE lol) and drinking water. it's practically sangria!

  2. I have had the following wedding nightmares:
    1) My dad doesn't show up 2) My lips are bright red and look like the joker 3) My moms' cat barfs all over my dress 4) the groom doesn't show up 5) there is no food at the reception 6) My mom forgets to hem my dress and I trip on it going down the isle

    These all recur about three times a annoying! I'm glad I'm not the only one having these though!

  3. Duck Tales!!!! I loved that show! I think these dreams happen to everyone. I had one where my dress was purple. I don't even like the color purple so I have no idea where that even came from. You can read about mine if you would like.

    Everything will come together. I just know it!


Little Somethings...