Monday, April 29, 2013

Big A's Dirty Thirty Weekend Extravaganza!

Is anyone else having a hell of a time uploading pictures today? I just had to upload them to an online album and THEN could put them on my blog and they were STILL all messed up. Sheesh.
OK. Now that I have struggled for the past two hours. Here is my recap of our fabulous trip away for the weekend.
When I asked Big A what he wanted to do for his 30th Birthday. He said nothing. He didn't want a party. He didn't want a cake. He didn't want anything. He told me to just pretend like it was any other day and that was that. So, I did what any pushy person does, I told him that if HE didn't want to celebrate his birthday that was fine, but I wanted to celebrate the day that my husband was born and he had to deal with it.

Aren't I sweet?
So, I suggested that we go away for the weekend. Which, he agreed to. And thank goodness for Groupon because I found this awesome place in Sanbornton, NH called Steele Hill Resorts for almost half price. Done and done.
We fiddled with the dates a couple times since it is hard for Big A to get weekends off since he works Saturdays, but we managed to schedule it for this past weekend and it was amazing. We both took Friday off of work and headed up there around 12.
We had a minor issue with directions. The GPS wanted to bring us through some ATV trails to get to the place. We went up a steep dirt/rock road and passed a couple farms with alpacas, and then another farm with a donkey, and I figured that this wasn't the way to a resort. I mean, there was a DONKEY. We realized that we were lost when we reached the end of the road and it was all woods with a little trail that said, "ATVs only".
Yeah. Luckily, I thought we might lose service at some point so I had the google maps directions just in case, which brought us on real roads to our destination. It seems we weren't the only ones to get lost, so we felt better. We then took care of the main priorities: checking in and finding a liquor store.
Here's the view from outside of the liquor store. Classy.
Friday, we explored a little and then headed to the restaurant for dinner since we were STARVING. Big A and I have a big problem with remembering to eat when we are doing things so all of a sudden we both realized that we were hungry and ordered like 12,000 things to eat. Haha.
After dinner we headed back to the room, watched a little TV, and then headed down to the jacuzzi. I'm pretty sure we walked in on another couple doing couple things, since the immediately moved FAR away from each other when we walked in and then got out of the pool and left. I was a little glad we were going in the jacuzzi and NOT he pool.
Saturday, we got up, hit up some Dunkin Donuts (after I had a minor panic attack that there weren't any around and what would we do for coffee since the coffee in the hotel room wasn't "good enough to feed my butt" which is what I told Big A in my cranky Ineedsomefuckingcoffeerightnowbitches mood) and it turns out there were like 10 of them within a 10 minute drive. Whoops.
After that we drove around and explored more. We stopped at an antique store and bought a couple cool things for the house. We went to FunSpot which is the largest arcade in the world. It was huge. They had all of these awesome, old video games. It was a blast. Big A and I played a racing game and I kicked his butt.
Then I played some slots and was deeply disappointed when I realized that they pay you out in tickets and not more coins. And then some kid stole my tickets. We played some old Atari racing games that were ridiculous, and I managed to place 3rd and 6th overall in their top scores. Apparently I'll never be as good as ASS.
After that, we headed back to our hotel and picked up a pizza from Pizza Hut since we had barely eaten all day. We thought we would eventually go for a late dinner, but the pizza proved to be enough and that was that. We hung around and watched some TV (I know, so exciting) and I took pictures of the place.
Gorgeous, right?! Most of the pictures (except the top right) were from right outside our sliding door. Tough life, huh?
There was a wedding going on Saturday night so we kind of spied on them and Big A suggested we crash the wedding, but we eventually decided against it. Aren't we sweet people?
Later I finally bullied Big A into going to the pool in the other building. It was literally the only things I cared about doing all weekend. I had been stalking pictures of it for almost two months and I was NOT leaving without going in it.
Take a look.
Amazing, right? It had a water slide (and a kiddie water slide) a hot tub, a sauna, etc. It was SO much fun. And even Big A enjoyed himself. A shocker. I know.
We headed back to the room and Big A watched TV while I read for a little bit and then it was off to bed.
We woke up right before check-out time on Sunday, so we packed our stuff up and got out of there. We grabbed some coffee and headed back home. It was such a fun weekend, but we were glad to come home, get Mr. Fresh, and settle back in.
Big A and I really needed this weekend. I mean, I'm not saying that we have serious issues. It is just so easy to get disconnected when there is so much going on. Big A and I have a tendency to take what we have for granted. Most of the time things are SO easy with us. We just flow. We always have. That's one of the reasons that we work so well together. But then, sometimes, things get busy, we don't see a lot of each other, the little time we do see each other is spent catching up on the stupid stuff we have to talk about (bills, house stuff, complaining about work, etc.) and it is SO easy to one day wake up and say, "When was the last time we ACTUALLY spent some quality time together?".
Big A and I have a weekly date night, but even that sometimes isn't enough. We take that for granted too and often times we are in the same house, but not necessarily spending any quality time together.
So this weekend was good. I looked at Big A at dinner on Friday and told him I couldn't remember the last time we had laughed like this. It was a great time and I'm so glad we went. We even hope to go back sometime, it was that great, and only a 2 hour drive.
When we came home, it was back to reality. There was a dead mouse in our toilet. The lawn needed to be mowed. The basement needed to be cleaned. And honestly, I think we were more productive yesterday than we would have been if we had been at home all weekend.
But that was our weekend. If you live anywhere near New Hampshire, I STRONGLY recommend checking it out. The people there were SO nice and the view is amazing. The restaurant was delicious. And they have multiple indoor AND outdoor pools, bars, etc. It was a great place.
And now... we are back to the daily grind. Thankfully we only have a couple more months until vacation again! But it definitely won't be soon enough!!!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Our House: Moving Day

If you want to catch up on the ever so riveting New House project, click on the tab above and it will have the other posts so far!
I'm off today, headed away for the weekend with my handsome husband for a little belated 30th Birthday Celebration (it took him awhile to get some time off).
So... I figured I would continue on with the house recaps so that this whole thing doesn't take 8,000 years like the wedding recaps. Although... it probably will since it will take us that long to finish it. Whoops.
We were working on the house and packing up the apartment down to the last minute on Friday night. Actually, Big A and I got into one of our stress fights (you know that kind where neither one of you really did anything, but you are both so stressed that you are just going to yell at each other for awhile) and he was like, "there's no way we are moving tomorrow".
Heh. Wanna bet?
See...there's something in me that reacts to someone telling me that I can't do something. It just makes me want to do it more. And if it has to do with their doubt of me...then I HAVE to prove them wrong. So I did... kinda.
Saturday morning my mom headed over to my apartment to help me load some stuff in the car. N texted me and pretty much didn't give me a choice, she was coming over, did I need coffee? I'm not one to ask for help...ever...well other than from my family. I am perfectly comfortable bossing them around...and they do it because they love me (even though I know I am a giant pain in their ass).
So, I had a team. Pretty much. We kicked ass. Pa Dukes was over at the house finishing up our bedroom because we hated the first color. So...despite our best efforts...we were able to get everything over to the house on Saturday except for our bedroom stuff. That had to stay since the room needed more time to air out. BUT...we kicked ass. Even Big A was surprised when he showed up (has conveniently "has to work" whenever we move. hahaha).
Big A and his friend J helped bring over some last minute big stuff. And then they all came back to help the next day. Big A's cousin helped too. It is amazing the people that are willing to put aside their ENTIRE weekend and help you. Without even being asked. In fact, I told N to go eff herself on Sunday when she said she was on her way over. BUT, she showed up, with a coffee in her hand.
We are so lucky to have so many great friends who helped us along the way.
The house with all of our crap in it. Bedroom (color is actually a bit darker). And our first sit-down dinner in our house. A BIG thanks to our helpers. My dad, my mom, J, N, Big A, and me. (Ignore the fact that we look a was a LONG day.)
Big A and I took our time finishing up cleaning the apartment and getting our last things out. We had until the end of the month, so we went bit by bit when we could and finally we were done. It was bittersweet. That was the place that we first lived together. Where we got engaged. Where we came home to after we were married.

Where we fought. Where we made up. Where we decided that even when things are bad, it is still better when we are together. I love our house, but our apartment will always have a special place in our hearts.
Here's some final pics of our apartment:
That pic on the bottom of Big A kneeling is almost too perfect, because that was almost the exact spot that we got engaged. Meeeemmmorrrieeeeees.

And then...just like that...we were done.

We have been back a couple times since because Big A still plows the driveway, or we go to the restaurant across the street and it seems weird. It still seems like it is ours, but I know it isn't. It belongs to someone else now. And that's OK.
And we are in the HOUSE!!! Now, it is on to decorating.
We threw some stuff up on the wall, but "our" (meaning me) next project is finishing the living room. We bought new couches. A new rug. Re-did a lamp. Now we just need new curtains and to paint the woodwork and the front door and DONE! So that will be my next recap.
Hopefully sometime within the next 6 months. HA!
Have a great weekend! I'll be back on Monday with our recap. Hopefully.
And for the record...I'm not being all "I'm gone for the weekend, please steal my shit." We have someone staying at the house watching Mr. Fresh. I ain't that dumb! Heh.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Bringing Sexy Back: Lessons Learned

Grab button for Bringing Sexy Back!
Welcome to another session of Bringing Sexy Back. A link-up that Megan and I put together to hold each other accountable for our weight loss journey.
It's more than that though. I mean, losing the pounds and the inches is important. It IS. Trust me. I fixate on both of them and want to punch myself in the face when I don't see a loss. BUT, the real goal of this IS to Bring Sexy Back. To feel good about ourselves. To feel comfortable in our skin. And there isn't a set weight or inches that will do that. It is all about a state of mind. That's really what we are trying to do here.
Anyway... I slacked this week. I started off strong-ish, but saying that I wanted to make sure I got a good week in before our mini-vacation, but...yeah...vacation brain hit and that was the end of me.
You don't even want to know what I had for dinner last night.
I tried to make myself feel better by looking at my weight loss, but even with the year option on My Fitness Pal, it made me sad. I was down in the 160's this time last year. Which was four months after I started this whole shindig. I lost close to 20 pounds in four/five months and I can't manage to lose more than a pound and a halfish in a month? Bullshit.
Here's what I got. Damn moving. If I hadn't just stopped doing EVERYTHING when we bought the house I wouldn't be here. BUT, we live and we learn.
Let's focus on the positive. Here's a better look. Calories burned. I went from not doing anything to kicking ass. I need to get back to that.
Once again, tracking is better than not tracking. I don't even want to know what I ate before then. There's one day in March I ate over 2,100 calories. Eww.

The better look is net calories consumed. This is what my body gets after I exercise. MUCH better. Maybe I don't suck as much as I thought. Haha.

I have to admit that I'm really not feeling the Bikram yoga. I mean, I go. I feel good. But, I only have a trial package and I know I won't go after that, so I haven't fully drank the kool-aid yet. I did find out that I actually kind of like the yoga part (minus the 105 degrees part) so I'm interested in doing more about that.
With that being said. I need a plan. I need to get back to losing. I know that doing the Couch to 5K helped a lot. My problem now is that is SO nice out that I don't want to be inside on a treadmill. And I despise running outside. I also want to get back into my Jillian DVDs (I almost said tapes...tapes...really? When is the last time I even touched a VHS? I don't even own a tape player, what?). Sooo... here's my plan.
I got for walks with my friend KG almost every day. We try to do over 2 miles and usually end up with about 2.5. So we want to try and do that at least 3-4 times a week. We would love 5, but sometimes we actually have to work. So let's plan 3-4 times, weather permitting.
I also try and take Mr. Fresh for a couple walks too, so I'm going to have to pepper those in too.
Next...a weekly plan.
Monday: Couch to 5K
Tuesday: Jillian DVD / Yoga
Wednesday: Couch to 5K
Thursday: Jillian DVD / Yoga
Friday: Couch to 5K
Saturday: Wild Card: Do SOMETHING
Sunday: Off (or make-up if I skip a day)
So that's that. I NEED to be accountable for that. Because, I'm not even posting my weight or measurements today because I know nothing happened.
I remember when I was losing weight before and someone commented on how "easy" it was for me, and I remember saying it wasn't easy at all. That I was at the gym 4, 5, 6 days a week. It was WORK. So why would I think it was easy now? Do I not remember how HARD I worked before. It wasn't easy. This half-assed bullshit isn't working. Obviously. So it is time to make a change.
What's the definition of insanity? Trying the same things over and over again expecting different results? Yeah... I qualify as insane. I know what works. I just need to do it.
Alright lovers. That's what I got for today. I hope that you all did a lot better than I did!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon for another So What! Wednesday.
This week I am saying So What if...
* I suck royally this week. Seriously. So far, I have sent an employee for a random drug test without sending the paperwork and leaving work, sent one of my bosses to the WRONG airport and had to scramble to fix his flights (which he was SUPER understanding about even though he had to sit at the airport for four hours, he is SO nice), and dumped an entire travel mug of coffee all over myself and my kitchen walking out of the house this morning. Seriously. I need a bubble. Hopefully that was my huge eff up for Wednesday, so I'm all done.
* I continue to stalk Jenelle Evans on Twitter and watched as she defended her sobriety after Monday's Teen Mom 2 episode where she is OBVIOUSLY fucked up in. And apparently next week shows her going to the hospital because of it. But that's "all behind her" and then her husband and her get arrested last night for assault and possession of heroin. Wow. Honestly, I know she does this to herself, and makes it worse by playing the victim (she says she can't help her drug abuse, that is is genetic and she can't help being an addict because it is a disease. Umm...genetics may make the chance of you becoming an addict bigger, but it essentially is YOUR choice to stick that needle in your arm. Once you take responsibility for your actions, it is easier to change them...just my two cents) but I do feel bad for her. She's just a kid. But she's also a mother and she needs to get her shit together.
Her 10th mugshot by 21.

Her hubby dearest. I think he sucks. She needs to drop him.
* I have soooooo much to do today, but I'm afraid of screwing something else up that I'm nervous about actually working. Ugh. Get it together.
* I am so excited that I only have one more work day after this and then it is 3 days of just me and my love. I've said it before and I'll say it again, we totally need this time together. To regroup. To catch up. It's been a LONG, hard four months (twss) and it is time to put it all behind us.
* I can't believe that is has almost been 9 months since we have been married. And next month will mark 6 years together. And that I am slightly nervous about the "7 year itch" myth that floats around. Now, if I could only figure out if it means between years 6 & 7 or years 7 & 8, then I could figure out the appropriate time to be worried. Haha.
* I get really annoyed when my co-lead on the team I'm on at work signs us up for stuff without asking me. I think it is rude. Especially when she won't be here for part of the events and she is basically signing ME up for it without asking. Breathe in. Breathe out. UGH!
* I went to Bikram Yoga on Monday night and was sweating so much (and accidentally poured water on myself) that my clothes were SOAKEN wet and I felt like it looked like I peed myself, so I walked out to my car telling all of the people I walked by that it was sweat and that I peed myself. While I find sweat fucking DISGUSTING, it somehow seemed better than pee. To the point that I apparently needed to tell strangers about it. Oy vey. I shouldn't be in public. Ever.
* I am exhausted at all of the stuff that we have coming up. We seriously have something every single weekend for the next 5-6 weeks. It is insane. We are also trying to fence in our backyard and get all the yard work that we need done. Which is near impossible when you don't have a free weekend. Luckily, the yard was well taken care of, and we don't really have to plant anything (other than our garden and maybe some pretty flowers) so it won't be so bad. Thankfully.
Alright, I've rambled enough. That's all for today. Head on over to Shannon's blog and link-up!
Also, don't forget about Bringing Sexy Back tomorrow. Which will pretty much just be me whining about trying to be good and still seeing nothing. And then pretending like I focus on the positive when you all really know I'm full of shit! Haha.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Wedding DIY: Placecards

When it came to our wedding, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted for the most part.

I knew what colors I wanted. I knew I wanted to let everyone pick their own dress. I knew what kind of dress I wanted. And I knew what theme I wanted.

What I DIDN'T know, was all of  the little items like programs and place cards. I had no freaking clue.

All of my ideas (like most ideas I have) were out of my price range. It just wasn't happening. I loved those cute place card holders that they have but I couldn't justify spending $100 on them. But I wanted to do something different.

I found this idea and loved it:

Found here.

So, I set out finding the perfect envelopes in my price range and color theme. Started thinking of how I was going to print them, attach them, etc. And then Big A wanted to know why we weren't just doing the normal cards that everyone else does.

Umm... because I want to do everything different from EVERYONE and be so uber creative that famous people notice my work and then my wedding planning / designing career will take off. I will be the new David Tutera. Duh.

I didn't want this entire wedding to be completely about me. Because honestly, Big A doesn't care about what our place cards look like. BUT, when he would state an opinion like that, I usually followed it. I knew if he mentioned it then it meant at least a little something to him. And although I probably could have done what I wanted anyway, I thought that maybe (just maybe) I shouldn't start off our marriage by ignoring everything he said and doing whatever I wanted anyway.

So... it was back to the drawing board.

I had a slight idea that I was going to incorporate into the idea above, so I decided that I would just go with it, but change the colors a bit to match my own.

So, I headed out to Michaels for my weekly trip. Seriously, they should know my by my first name and dedicate a wing to me I went there so much.

I bought:
1. Silver Blank Folded Cards (it was easier to cut those than paper)
2. Black lace
3. Clear glue
4. Black card stock
5. White card stock
6. Red ribbon
7. Clear sticky dots

1. Use paper cutter to cut cards in half on fold. Then fold paper in half. 2. Cut lace a little longer than the width of card. 3. Use glue to attach the lace at the top of the card. Let sit for a couple minutes. (I attached the tops of a bunch and then glued the rest of the sides later. When the top part was still wet, the lace moved around too much and was a pain in the ass to keep straight) 4. Let dry fully. 5. Print names on white card stock. (That was my crazy OCD list of attendees with their meal choice and table) Also, I went to a website and dowloaded the font that I used, and then used it on all the paper stuff. I forget the name of the font, but the website was 6. Use paper cutter to cut out names and then use sticky dots to attach to black card stock. 7. Cut ribbon so it is long enough to go all the way around the front of the card. Then attach with sticky dot to one side of name plate. 8. Put sticky dot on the other end of the name plate and wrap ribbon around card. Press down.
 9. Finished product. (The cards bent a little during the process, so we just stuck them under something heavy for a couple of days until they straightened out)

I then printed out the table names on white card stock and stuck them inside the card. But of course I didn't take a picture because by then I was over it.

Special thanks to my wonderful mother who helped my assemble everything. And dealt with my temper tantrums when I couldn't get the names to print out right, or cut the paper wrong, or "someone" put a name on crooked".

I also put a sticker on the back with their meal choice. It wasn't cute or pretty, just functional, so I definitely don't have pictures of it.

And that's that. They took awhile, but I just did a lot of it bit by bit while watching TV. The big part was getting the names on them. That was a pain in the butt.

BUT... I'm glad that I did it. I love the way they turned out and I am SO glad that they look like a classy DIY project rather than "Oh my god you can totally tell that she made those herself and she sucks at crafts...seriously Martha Stewart should probably punch her in the throat for this monstrosity".

OK... so that was a little dramatic, but I was afraid that after all of that work they wouldn't turn out very well and I had no back-up plan. So thank god for everyone that they turned out well.

And that's how I did our place cards! Keep tuning in to learn more about the lovely projects that I did for the wedding.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Half-Assed Weekend Recap

Hey There,
Guess who spent her morning stalking everyone's blog and didn't realize until almost lunch time that she hadn't posted anything herself?
Yeah. Dropped the ball on the one.
I don't have anything particularly interesting to talk about though.

Friday night the girls came over for Wine Night. It was such a great time. So great of a time that I forgot to eat and downed 2 bottles of wine. (A third was opened, but I never finished the glass I poured). I was fine until I hit my proverbial drunk wall and then I was like, "Oh shit!". Hate that. It isn't even like I felt myself getting out of control. It was as if some special drunk fairy walked up to me, slapped me across the face, and said, "I now dub you drunk as fuck".
And that was it. Night night time. I'm disappointed in myself for my rookie mistakes. But, we win some, we lose some. I was home. I wasn't driving. And I had nothing particularly pressing to do the next day. Other than getting Starbucks and frozen yogurt with my mom.
Saturday was super productive. Not. But, Mumsie and I had a nice day regardless and I ended up making it through the day without showing any other fellow customers what little I had left in my stomach. I call that a success.
By Saturday night, I felt like a whole new woman and headed out to a 30th Birthday / Going Away Party for a friend of ours. It was sad to see him go, but I know that he has an amazing opportunity and he needed to take it. PLUS, he's moving to Florida. Sooo... tough life right?
I enjoyed catching everyone up on the remaining parts of my Friday evening when multiple of my male friends told me they had "heard that I had too much fun last night". Which I think is a bit deceiving. I wasn't a fool. I didn't say or do anything I regret, (minus opening the 3rd bottle). I literally was like, I'm all done. Night ladies. And that was that. So, I'm not sure what they heard, but I proved to not be too exciting.
Sunday was a lazy one. Big A and I slept in. Then I finished reading an amazing book that I've been trying to find the time to read. Big A worked on his car and I managed to get changed out of my PJs to go to the grocery store and take Mr. Fresh for a walk. The fam came over for dinner and I made the most delicious Chicken Breast stuffed with spinach, mozzarella, and tomatoes with spaghetti squash with a low cal Alfredo sauce on the side. I was pretty impressed with myself. Holler.
I finished off the night with a lovely evening of TV watching and chatting with my family and got my dad and brother to agree to build our fence soon. So, that's a lovely little Sunday for ya.
I'm attempting to be a productive member of society today, but the reality is that it is a 4 day work week and Big A and I are going away. Which is super exciting. We NEED a vacation in the worst way. Plus, it is part of his Dirty Thirty Birthday present, so I'm excited to go. Hopefully the weather is nice, but if not, then there's plenty to do onsite. And a special thanks to Mumsie for watching our precious doggie!
Happy Monday Folks! 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Letting It All Out There

I'm going to get a bit heavy here today. I've been trying not to talk about the madness that is going on in my beautiful state right now. Trying to stay away from the news, the media, the pictures, the horror. I know that everything I see and hear will be ingrained in my mind forever.
Those are images and facts that I do not want.
But today, I can't avoid it. It is something that is sitting heavy on my heart and something that I need to get out. To work out. Because, as anyone who has known something tragic like this happening in their own "backyard", wishing it away doesn't work.
On Monday, Boston changed forever.
Stories we have heard of these tragedies happening in other places in our country were bad enough. Our sense of security has been demolished as a country. But they were still so far away. It was the ever so popular phrase, "It will never happen to me".
While I didn't know anyone personally effected by the horror that ensued at the Boston Marathon (friends were in the area, but no one close enough to see the chaos, all thankfully safe and sound) the fact that this all happened 45 minutes away is too much. It is too close.
I go back and forth with trying to find peace with this. Trying to accept it as a horrible act that was inflicted upon innocent people, innocent children, and leave it at that. Try not to let the hatred I feel to take over my heart. Try not to picture and wish for horrible things to happen to these two men.
I'll admit it...when I heard that the suspect that is now dead suffered from not only multiple gunshot wounds, but also injuries that were from an explosion, from shrapnel that came from one of their IEDs, I was glad. I was GLAD that he felt what those people went through. Because to me, someone like him, deserves that pain. Deserves to know what it feels like for that bomb to go off and feel the excruciating pain that comes from it.
And I hate that. I hate that I hate them. I hate that I have that ugliness in my heart. I hate that my first reaction to hearing that was happiness. How fucked up is that?
I know it is a totally normal reaction. One that comes from fear. But the bottom line is that even with these men's death, even with their blood spilled on our streets, the monsters aren't gone. There will always be more.
I hear people wondering, "why?". People searching for a reason. Wondering how these two men could do this. What their agenda was. And it brings to mind one of my most favorite sayings that I try and hold true when my head is spinning in turmoil from a situation...
You are trying to rationalize an irrational situation.
We may figure out their reason "why", but we will never understand it. We may placate ourselves with the fact that we "figured them out", but we will never "get" it.
I'm not sure that we will find peace in this situation. I'm not sure that we will find closure either. I think that it brings about a whole new bag of worms.
I know a lot of people assumed that these people were from a certain place. Assumed that those who caused the terror of 9/11 were "at it again". But these guys weren't. They were from Russia.
Granted, they say that the part of Russia that they are from was highly influenced by those who already think that the United States are an evil empire that needs to be defeated. But all of that is speculation as of now. I'm wary to accept any of this information until everything has come to a close. If we ever have any of this information.
I hear a lot of people who are talking about illegal immigrants and how THAT is the issue. How we need to "close our borders" and that will end all of this.
I know we all want a quick fix. I know we want to get rid of guns to stop school shootings. I know we want to shut down allowing people from other countries into our homes so that we can stop terrorism. But there is no quick fix.
The whole immigration issue is a hot topic for me. My father and his family came here from Ireland in 1973. They are immigrants. They are all here legally. All either having their legal alien cards or becoming United States Citizens. I have family in Ireland, patiently waiting YEARS for the word that they are allowed to move back here.
And when I raise this issue to people who are talking about "closing the borders", they say, "Oh, I don't mean them. I mean the other people."
What other people? I mean, how can we decide that EVERYONE from a certain area are bad. How do we pick and choose which countries are more likely to hurt us? Because, I'm pretty sure that from my perspective Russia wouldn't have been on the "no-go" list.
I think that we are trying too hard to fix an unfixable situation. To rationalize an irrational situation.
Closure is a crock. I don't think we "find" it. I think we create it within ourselves. We can't find closure in anything other than ourselves. What we need to find is peace.
Peace in the fact that amidst these incredibly horrific events, that we had people helping people. Perfect strangers assisting those who were hurt. Using their clothing as tourniquets. Staying in the close proximity to where bombs went off, unsure of what was still to come, to help those who were injured. That we worked together, sending in tips, pictures, videos, to help catch these monsters.
Peace in the fact that amidst the chaos, that amidst an act of terror, that amidst the tragedy, we has a country stood up together. The amount of love, thoughts, and prayers that have been sent out to those effected in Boston from around the country, even around the WORLD, is amazing. Incredible.
We are never going to stop all the terrorists. We are never going to stop all the mass murderers. The killers. The degenerates who inflict pain and heartbreak on innocent people to feel some sort of sick satisfaction. BUT...we can unite as a country. As an ENTITY that is not to be messed with.
I don't feel safe right now. I'll be honest. I got to bed every single night, wondering what I am going to wake up to in the morning. Last night was a perfect example. I slept in ignorance last night, only to wake up this morning to find that another innocent man is dead, another critically wounded, explosives and gunshots rang out in Watertown as authorities attempted to capture these criminals.
But what I do know, is that my country has my back. That they are doing everything in their power to make sure that these men are stopped and that we can feel safe to walk our streets again.
We can't live in a world of fear. Fear to leave our houses. Fear of highly populated events. Fear of airplanes. Fear of LIVING.
Because then they win. If we live in fear and hatred, then they win. They break us down, and we are doomed to be defeated.
And I REFUSE to let them win. I won't live like that.
So let's stop wishing for retribution. For crazy theorist ideas of what will stop all of this madness, like getting rid of guns, eliminating the opportunity for immigrants to enter our country, etc. And start wishing for peace. Wishing for us to find our closure within ourselves with this situation. Wishing for our safety back. Wishing that those effected by the bombings, and shooting, have love and support and everything that they need to get through this truly horrific times.
I'm not looking for opinions on this. I'm not looking for battles. I'm not looking for debates on my own opinions. I'm looking for my own closure. My own peace. And writing about it helps me. Letting it all out there allows me to work out my own issues, problems, fear, etc. I'm not diminishing the horror that these people experienced or are feeling. The loss, the tragedy, the PAIN that they are feeling. I'm just saying that we can NOT continue to spread that hate.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Finish the Sentence Link-up

I've decided to double post today. is more fun than doing the work I'm actually supposed to be doing right now. Heh. And I love Holly, so, there's that.
If you're looking to link-up for Bringing Sexy Back and see how everyone kicked ass this week. You can go here.
1. I laughed so hard I cried when... oh geez. This happens all the time. I get hit with a serious case of the giggles over the most random shit. Like the time my mom and I were dying in a store because someone bought a "folding dog crate" and she asked (obviously jokingly) if it was the crate that folded or the dog. We both STILL laugh over it. It is just one of those silly things that gets ya.
2. My high school... was just a way to pass the time. I wasn't huge into "high school is the best time of your life". I graduated early and got the eff out of there ASAP.
3. It really pisses me off... when people just have absolutely no regard for other people. Stupid motorcyclists who pull out in front of you so you almost hit them. Stupid people who let their evil dogs run rampant. Some people just can't see past the end of their nose and don't realize how their actions effect people. I totally love almost hitting and seriously injuring someone at 7:00 AM through no fault of my own. Or running down the street wondering if anyone will hear me yell when the dog attacks us. Ugh.
4. In ten years... I will be well on my way to 40. BOOOO. I hope I have some beautiful babies (ugly ones need not apply...haha. I kid. I kid). A better paying job. I hope Big A is happy in his career, wherever it may take him. I hope I'm happy. And my family is happy and healthy. I got big dreams people.
5. If I could erase one thing... I wouldn't. Sure there are things I wished never happened. There are things I wish I never did. But... they all made me who I am today. And I'm afraid that by erasing one thing it will throw me off my course. And I wouldn't have my wonderful husband, or house, or friends.
6. In 1999...  I was 13. Making stupid choices and liking stupid boys. Oh man. I hope my kids are smarter than me.
7. Honestly... sometimes I seriously wish that I could tell some people to fuck off. Sometimes I hate taking the high road. Sometimes I hate that people say stupid shit and you can't call them out on it because it really isn't worth the fight.
8. To me, Sushi... is disgusting. I gave it the 'ole college try, but dry heaving in a fancy restaurant isn't a good look on anyone, so I decided it wasn't for me.
9. Someone really needs to invent... a way for me to make lots of money with really just doing whatever the hell I want. I swear I would be a much nicer person.
10. The first time I drank alcohol... was a joke. I had a rum and coke. In a little glass. Like an adult would have a little drink after work. Now the first time I got drunk...was a bigger rum and coke. With a 75%-25% ratio (I'll let you guess which was which) and I chugged two of them right in a row. And then I disappeared and no one could find me because they were walking right by me as I was face down on the couch in the dark. Haha. AND I waited until an appropriate time to throw up. I always wait for appropriate times to throw up. No embarrassing puking stories here. And that makes me feel good about myself.
11. The one question I would ask God is... why do good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people?
12. Lindsay Lohan... is legit a hot mess. And honestly, I have no patience for it. You live this glamorous life of fame that YOU wanted. Make all this money and could just set yourself up for life. Instead... you're too busy focusing on your downward spiral. So...way to go. Why don't you just take your money that you would spend on booze, drugs, lawyer fees, etc. and send it to me? I could use the cash and without the money for the booze and drugs, then you wouldn't need the money for the lawyer fees. Problem solved!

That was fun! I might have to check it out again next week! Head on over to Holly's blog and link-up too!!!
And if you're looking to link up to Bringing Sexy Back (and don't want to scroll back up to the top) then go here.

Bringing Sexy Back: Week 4 & Progress Pictures

Grab button for Bringing Sexy Back!
 Hello Lovers!!! Megan and I are back at it again. This little link-up may be small, but we are COMMITTED. I'm really enjoying reading everyone's posts and feeling the love. It is always better with a great support system.
I have to be honest with you. Up until yesterday, I was a total Debbie Downer. I mean, I was SO upset. I was working SO hard and the scale just wasn't moving. Maybe if I didn't weigh myself every day, but... I didn't give up.
Normally,when I get like that I go on a junk food/wine bender. It isn't pretty. And then I mess up whatever work I did anyway. So, yay me.
This time, I just kept it up. I felt good and that helped. I stepped on the scale this morning and wasn't expecting to see anything. But...check it out.
That's a 1.4 lb loss from last week. I know that isn't AMAZING, but it was just the battle, not the war. Every 1.4 lbs counts!
Now for the fun pics. Progress.

I'm seeing more definition in my mid-section. I know the picture quality still sucks, but you get the point.

I'm not really sure why I think leaning back is flattering, but whatever. If I wasn't standing like a freak you could see that it is a little smaller in the mid-section. And I think my thighs look a little smaller. Right?
I've been trying REALLY hard to get my workouts in. I've also been trying really hard to keep moving. I told you guys that I bought a heart rate monitor and it arrived on Saturday. EARLY! YAY! And while I've used the heart rate portion of it when I'm working out to try to get into the "zone", I use it for the step counter more. It tells you how many steps you took (and your goal, mine is 10,000), how long you walked, how many calories you burned, etc. It is AWESOME.

This is from this morning.
I like it because it really motivates me to keep moving. Yesterday I was stuck in a meeting all day and when I got home I was barely halfway to my goal for the day. So, I took Mr. Fresh for a walk. Hung out outside. Cleaned up stuff around the house. Just kept moving. I ended up reaching over 12,000 steps. The day before, I did 15,000.
Except now I feel exhausted at the end of the day. I think it is more because I KNOW how much I have been moving now. Haha. Blessing and a curse.
Yesterday I missed my walk with Kell-dawg. We go walking at lunch, but I was stuck in a stupid meeting all day. I was going to go to yoga, but no one else was going and it was GORGEOUS out. So I went home and took Mr. Fresh for a walk. Not a hardcore cardio workout, but we got to see the neighborhood more, he enjoyed it, and I still got in about 2.5 miles.
Minus the angry dog that chased us down the street, it was a lovely time.
Public service announcement: If your dog isn't able to happily sit in your yard, unleashed, without barking, snarling, and chasing people who walked by, then put them on a fucking leash. OK? What if I was walking with my kid? You going to have your dog chase my kid down the road? I mean, c'mon, it is common sense people. Nothing bothers me more than pet owners who are unrealistic about their dog's behavior. Mr. Fresh takes off at a moments notice, he's ALWAYS on a leash. He barks at women and children. He's ALWAYS on a leash. (Not that he would ever do anything, but he sounds scary. Not sure what the issue with women and children is either, but whatever)
Sorry about that. Anyway.
I've been trying to keep my workouts from getting boring. Plus, your body works more when it isn't used to the workout. Some walking here. Some heavy cardio here. Yoga. I want to get back into the 300 ab challenge and squats. I'm going to make this weight loss mission my bitch!
And I'll be enjoying my smokin' bod when I'm out at my pool enjoying some adult beverages.
Oh... I can't wait to go swimming too! That's a great low impact workout that burns some serious calories.
That's all for this week. How did you all do? I know last week we were all facing some troubles.
Smooches! Don't forget to link-up with Megan and I!
Oh, and sorry for the late post. I was having some display issues. All my pictures were showing up weird. Took me forever to fix it.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

So What! Wednesday

First of all, I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone out in the Blogging community who has prayed or sent good thoughts to those who were effected by the HORRIBLE event that took place on Monday. While I was not personally effected by the events, the fact that it was in my own "back yard" was way too close to home. I know we are all feeling a sense of unsureness and fear for what is to come from this. The love and support that everyone is showing Boston is truly amazing.
Linking up with Shannon over at Life After I Dew for So What! Wednesday!
This week I am saying So What! if...
* These are all the water bottles that I cleaned off my nigh stand the other day. There are 13. I know. I bring a bottle of water to bed with me every night. BUT, I don't drink anything other than cold water. Blech. sits there. Sometimes Big A will drink it, other times he makes me combine them all and I have to drink them before I open a fresh bottle. It gets a bit out of control.
* Big A and I were in a disagreement of when we NEED a shed. I say were, because I won the battle. But, we were talking about it in the truck and I was commenting on all of the houses that DON'T have sheds. To which he replied that they were VERY expensive houses and they probably have people that come do their yard work. So we started a little game of who did and didn't have sheds. Then when I got to my brother's house I saw he had a shed, so I took a picture and sent it to Big A. Heh.

* I am extremely, thoroughly, and completely frustrated with the fact that I am working out like crazy, trying to watch what I eat, not drinking a bottle of wine a night and I see NO difference in my weight this week. Ugh. I still have one more weigh in before I have to report, but seriously. It is obnoxious.
* Yesterday I spent the day reminding myself that my silly little troubles were just that. Silly. And that so many other people were living with such heartbreak right now. Today...I'm throwing myself into my silly little troubles because after 2 days of constant media coverage my heart can't take anymore right now.
* I can't believe that it has been almost a year since this little girl joined this world. Since I waited patiently for the news that she was here. Since one of my best friends became a Mother. Time sure flies and in less than a month she will be a year old. She has grown into quite the fresh cute little girl that we all love. Even Big A is smitten with her!

* I want to throw myself on the floor in a tantrum rather than go into the meeting that I'm supposed to go in. And there's just so much MORE coming up. I mean...couldn't we have done all this in the winter? It is supposed to be high 60's today. I want to go out for a walk. I want to be freeeeeeeeee.
* I am actually looking forward to going to yoga tonight. I've tried to go a couple times since I went last week and it never worked out. Today is the last day that I could go this week due to plans and I just HAD to go. Thankfully Big A is understanding and letting me push date night back a little bit to go. Although...I don't know if he understands that when I get home I'm going to be exhausted and make him figure out something for dinner. Whoops! Haha.
* I was stupidly proud of myself for walking over 15,000 steps yesterday. AND at some points I looked down and saw that the monitor wasn't it was more! My goal was 10,000 and I hadn't hit that yet. So, I'm super pumped. Now...if it would only have ANYTHING to do with my weight. Haha.
Alright...that's enough for today. I still need to go eat breakfast and prep for this wonderful meeting. AKA...find a good seat in the back where I can do non-work related things on my computer. Hahaha.
Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!
Also...don't forget about Bringing Sexy Back tomorrow! And your 4 week progress shots! Spread the word! We have had a couple people linking up but let's get more!!!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Thoughts and Prayers for those at the Boston Marathon Yesterday

Taking the day off today.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those effected by the horrific events that took place at the Boston Marathon today.
This hit way too close to home.
I'll never understand the amount of hatred that some people have in their hearts.
There are some sick people out there. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Weekend Recap

Time for another, ever so intriguing, weekend recap.
By Friday afternoon, I was over the week. Monday I was over the week. BUT...I was legit crawling in my own skin by noon. I was done. So, I made plans with a friend to get the fuck out of dodge.
I had plans to go home and work out first, so I didn't do too much damage, BUT I ended up pouring myself a glass of shitty wine and reading a book until she came over.
We headed out to dinner where I ordered one of my old faithful vodka and cranberries. I haven't had one in who knows how long. They used to be my staple drink when I could afford to buy a bunch of them and get hammered because I didn't have any bills and I could easily bounce back from a night of drinking with a Starbucks and a greasy breakfast sandwich.
My long lost love.
We attempted to find something to do after dinner, but we forgot that we have no life so we had no idea where to go anymore. Plus it was cold and rainy out. So, we hit up the liquor store and headed back to my house. There's no shame in getting tipsy in the comfort of your own home.
I was kind of kicking myself because I only went over my calories by about 360 (only?) and if I had worked out then I could have at least cancelled that out. We live and we learn.
Saturday I woke up with a slight headache, but it wasn't a big deal. Nothing a coffee couldn't fix.
I prepped some breakfast cups for the week (little tip: Use the 3 cheese egg beaters. Same calories and they are DELICIOUS!) and Mom came over for our Saturday shananigans. She forced me to weed the front of the house and it took us about 40 minutes for it to look awesome. Such a small amount of work for such a big impact.
AND we found that there are a bunch of pretty plants growing (under the leaves and weeds) so we really don't have to do anything else other than mulching. Holler!
We also found a random rhubarb I guess we are learning how to make something with rhubarb in it.
Then we headed out for the standard Starbucks. (The skinny version. NOT the hangover version. There's a BIG difference in calories there). Mom decided that she wanted to color her hair while we were there so we hit up Ulta for some supplies and headed back to my house.
My mom has gorgeous blonde hair and although I hate her for it, at least I got to pretend it was mine for a little bit. If I had blonde hair, I would be putting cool colors in it all the time.

The outcome. It looks so cool in person.
I pretended I was bad ass like my mom and put some purple on the blonde I had in my hair. I didn't follow the directions so it didn't come out awesome, but I am going to do it again. I think I might bleach out the blonde a little bit more next time so the color really pops.

It is supposed to be purple, but it came out kind of magenta-ish. Hopefully another layer makes it brighter.
Saturday night was a whole lot of nothing. Big A had his swap meet on Sunday, so he had to get up at 5:30 to meet up with the boys. Yuck.
Sunday consisted of sleeping in with the bed all to myself. Love it. Mr. Fresh won't let me sleep in if we are both home. It is the worst. On Saturdays when Big A goes to work, he's fine. On Sundays when we are both home...nope...someone needs to get up. Usually because he wants their space in bed.
I met up with N for some delicious brunch. I made sure to get my fat ass on the treadmill for the first time in 3 days so I didn't feel so bad. By the time I got home, Big A was home with money still in his pocket so we took that opportunity to head to Lowes and buy some stuff for the house. We spent a bunch of money, but it was all stuff that we needed.
I picked up some stuff for a new project which I'm excited about. And there's rumors that we are looking into getting the stuff to fence in our backyard (AND start a garden), so that's exciting!!!
By the time we got home, I had enough time to play with Mr. Fresh and then it was time for family dinner. My family has done Sunday night dinner for YEARS. Now that my brother and I have our own places (and my dog and my parents' dog don't get along...ahem...) we decided to start trading off houses until I have kids and then they all have to come to me whether they like it or not. This weekend it was my brother's house. He made a DELICIOUS dinner (still shocked at his cooking skills) and it was great to see what he and his friends had done to the house. (My bro's friend bought this old house on the cheap and my bro, his friend, and our cousin have been living there and fixing it up. It needs A LOT of TLC, but they are doing a great job).
After that, it was time to come home. Spend about 5 seconds with Big A before he fell asleep on the couch, and that was it.
Now it is Monday and I have 5 more days of bullshit until another mediocre weekend. Blah.
I'm heading to another class of Bikram yoga tonight, so I'm pretty excited about that one. I'm hoping that I do a little bit better tonight and don't have to sit down as much.
And that's all for this weekend. Hope ya'll had a great one too!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Friday's Letters

Just when I think it will never get here... Friday arrives.
And I want to SMOOCH it.
Yeah, yeah, I say the same thing every week. BUT, people are totally allowed to gush about the loves of their lives.
Some people have a husband, a dog, and kids.
I have a husband, a dog, and the weekend.
So there...
Anyway... time for Friday's Letters with Ashley!
Dear Rain, eff off. My lunch time walk was cancelled yesterday due to training. It will NOT be cancelled today just because you're an asshole.
Dear Money, where do you go? Why am I constantly finding myself in a state of having a whole bunch of money or nothing. Oy vey. I need an adult.
Dear Self, keep going with your working out and eating right. You WILL see results. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will your smokin' hot body! Stick with it. Even though it is hard.
Dear Self...again, it is so sweet of you to give yourself a peptalk.
Dear Face, I don't know if anyone has told you, but we are 27. Not 14. I'm married. I own a house. I pay a mortgage. I have a big girl job. It reaaaaaalllly isn't cool of you to continue to look like shit. Especially since our insurance thinks that this problem should be done by 23. So, figure it out. I'm doing my best, but you're kind of being a bitch.
Dear Bloggers, I think sometimes we forget what the real important thing about blogging is...having this HUGE community of women to identify with. To share stories. To empathize. To laugh with. To cry with. To form friendships across the country that you NEVER would have had before. Creating a specific Twitter, Blog, Website to be a snarky bitch and talk shit about kind of defeating the purpose. So...let's put all the BS aside and all be buddies. Sound good? I'll bring some graham crackers and apple juice and we can all have a good time.
Dear Teen Mom girls, I really have to wonder how much of what they show and what I read is true. On the one hand, I think that maybe you are getting a bad rap for ratings. On the other hand, you could be letting everything go to your head. Who knows. (Although Jenelle...I have to say...your husband is an idiot. In the words of Jerry Springer, you need to drop that zero and get yourself a hero. Maybe a real man who doesn't take selfies all day and who knows a thing about English and grammar)
Dear Twitter, I'm embarrassed to admit that I am addicted to you. Not that I tweet or anything. I just enjoy reading all of the bullshit. Between the "celebrity" drama and the Blogger drama. You sure are interesting. Although...I never really got the whole fighting online for the whole world to see. Makes for an interesting work day though, I suppose.
Dear Big A, some day we will agree on what we should do to the house. Or what we should buy. Some days I think that you allow me to pretty much do whatever I want so I should cut you some slack. Other days I think that you are pretty damn expensive and we would have 8,000 tools and no money if you were able to run free. Haha. Oy. All a part of learning I suppose.
Dear To Do List, none of the items on you are fun, so I don't really feel like doing you today. Please disappear.
Alright, that's enough for today. I have a shit ton of things to do to make up for being in training all day yesterday and I don't want to do any of it. Ugh.
Happy Weekend Lovers!