Friday, June 28, 2013

Friday's Letters

Oh man, what a week. Thank goodness it is Friday. Although, we have a busy weekend, so we might as well just fast forward to Monday.
Saturday we have a 2:00 PM wedding. It's in Brewster which is about two hours away from us and Big A has to work part of the morning. So I have no idea when we will get there or how bad the traffic will be. We might be those assholes who show up after the ceremony. That would be embarrassing, I would hate to do that.
Speaking of weddings, I just want to say a special congrats to Miss, or should I say MRS Britt! She married her fabulous man yesterday! I couldn't be happier for the two of you! Have a great time on your honeymoon and bring me back a present! (I kid, I kid)
This Friday's Letters is just going to be a random mash-up of pictures I found in my phone. Because, I lack original content today.
Dear Megan, I am very sorry to say that part of your wedding gift to us met its ultimate demise the other day. The frame with our wedding invitation in it fell off the wall when I shut the front door. Which pisses me off for two main reasons: 1) We NEVER use the front 2) It was one of the few frames on the wall that I actually had put something in. It couldn't have been the one with the random Asian couple who everyone keeps asking us how we know. C'mon people, the frames come with pictures, and you all know I'm lazy. Put two and two together.
Sorry Megan!
Dear New Car, you are fabulous. Now that Big A has done some of his magic, you are a thousand times better. But let's talk about your alcohol problem. I found this nip under the center console... you've got some 'splainin' ta dooooo!

Dear Coworkers, I apologize for calling you all scavengers for stealing food from meetings. I never knew how good free food was. This was my free breakfast this morning. Delish!

Dear Wildlife, stay the fuck out of my pool. Seriously. I found 3 dead frogs in there yesterday. We've had a couple mice too. And this wonderful snapping turtle. If I ever find a snake, I'm filling the damn thing in with cement. So... cut it out.

Dear Mr. Fresh, I'm glad that you can appreciate a cold adult beverage on a hot Summer day like your mother. Just remember, no drinking and driving.

Dear Fate, I was supposed to hit it big with all of these scratch tickets. $17 wasn't what I was expecting. And then I used the $17 to buy more scratch tickets...aaaaaaand.....nothing! Ugh.

Dear Mr. Fresh Again, this is what happens when you have too many adult beverages. Don't worry, your good 'ole mom probably has plenty of pictures like this.

Dear June / Mother Nature, you've been a rainy one. That's for sure. I'm over it. Yes, the grass looks green, but it needs to be cut every 37 seconds, but we can't because it is RAINING. And I can't use the pool. And my tan is going away. I shall will the Summer weather with bright cheery nail polish. Because how can you be crabby with bright and cheery nail polish?

Sensationail Gel Color in Kitten Heel. Love.
Dear Work, I know that when you do big changes like we are right now, there's always going to be some speed bumps, but please, PLEASE don't be a clusterfuck. AND don't mess up my paycheck. Thanks Sweets!
Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! We have a wedding and then my brosiff's bday BBQ. Hoping Mother Nature gets her head out of her ass and cooperates.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Rug Selection

 Yesterday, I decided to catch up a little on the blog Young House Love. You know, the blog about the married couple who get paid to make their houses amazing?
Yeah that one.
I was surprised to find out that they bought a gorgeous new house and have already started working on making it awesome. Which, of course, made me realize how little we have done on ours.
I mean, yeah it was great when we first moved in because we got a lot done THEN. But, there's still so much left that we need to do.
So, to make myself feel better, I shall tell you my hunt for a new rug for the living room. I'm also going to (at some point, probably not right this second) make a list like they do for all the things we want to do in each room. I say we loosely because Big A doesn't care, but I do.
A billion years ago, I decided we needed a new rug for the living room. We got a new couch and the old one wasn't that awesome to begin with, so, new couch it was.
I knew I wanted a dark gray rug. I thought it would compliment the color of the walls and the couch well. I wanted to use red as an accent color as well, but that was too hard to find in a rug. Reds can be very different and I wanted a specific shade.
So I searched the internet for every gray rug I could find. (PS, does it bother anyone else that there's two ways to spell gray. Why  gray and grey? Pick one. And when I say pick one, I mean pick gray, the other one bothers me. Anywho...)
These were my favorites:
I'm hesitant to source these because I found them EVERYWHERE. Rugsdirect,  RugsUSA, etc. etc.
While looking I found some interesting choices. Let's take a look, shall we:

This one too closely resembles a female body part. I'm totally not into having this as part of my decor.

This one, while fierce, was just all the wrong colors.
After staring at that first one for so long, I couldn't NOT see boobs when I looked at this one. So it was out.
I hemmed and hawed and attempted to haggle with those companies that promise you "the lowest price" and was about to give up when I found the one I wanted was on sale at It was a cheaper price to begin with, then on sale, then an extra percentage off. We all know I love me a good deal. So I got the A-OK from Big A and pulled the trigger.
Here's a little reminder of what it looked like: (I tried to find a pic with the old couch, but I think I deleted them all)
And here's the one we chose:

Obviously, Mr. Fresh has great taste. He LOVED it. Haha.
It's a little lighter in person. I love the different shades of gray/silver in it that compliment the walls and couch so well. I plan to add in red curtains and pillow covers to make the room pop a little bit.
Another little project was lighting. The living room is the only room in the house that didn't have built in lighting. We thought about putting in some recessed lighting, but the ceiling is just so gorgeous that we don't want to ruin it.
I looked for some lights to put on the walls, but I never found anything too special. I found something "good enough for now" and I think that with new shades on them they could be better.
But that wasn't enough. We needed something else. So I found this old lamp we have had sitting since we moved into our apartment a thousand years ago. We never used it. I found the lamp shade at Bed, Bath, & Beyond and had a gift card so I snagged it figuring I could use it for something.
Then the light went off in my head, (hehe, get it?) and I realized they would be perfect. But the gold had to go. It just didn't fit into the color scheme.
So I snagged some cheap black spray paint with a satin finish and went to town.

Look at the difference!
The spray paint was only like $4 (and we have plenty left) and I don't remember what the lamp shade was, but I had a gift card so it was free to me!
It goes perfectly with the room!
Now we just need curtains, pillow covers, a new coffee table / end table set, and to paint the wood work white. And the living room is done!
I know I'm not going to start any major projects any time soon because it is so nice out lately and we are working on the outside, but it is never too early to start brainstorming.
Plus, we all know I'm a cheap bastard so I this will give me time to find prices that are acceptable to me. Haha!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Linking up with Shannon for another So What! Wednesday!
This week I'm saying So What! if...
* I attempted to walk down the hill this morning instead of going down the stairs and had the conversation with myself that I'm FAR too OCD for that and my day would be chaos because of it. Walked back up the hill and down the stairs. It gets a little concerning when even I think I'm fucking nuts!
* I forgot about cooking dinner last night because I was watching the Kardashians and when I finally went out to turn the grill on there was a torrential downpour. Whoops! Lucky enough it was just a quick Summer shower and was over pretty quickly. AND the steak came out divine!
* I've been posting more regularly in my "secret" blog than here. In my defense a bunch of posts have been written for months, but I dunno, there's something about being able to write whatever you want without caring that is so FREEING.
* I'm starting to get anxious about vacation. I always freak out the entire drive there because I'm afraid that we are going to miss our boat. And then there's that whole thing where the Border Collie barks at everyone for an hour, so that's fun.
* My nails are all chipped and gross but I can't be bothered to do anything about it. The gel is hard to remove. Hell... I suck at re-doing regular nail polish. I just don't wannaaaaaaaa.
* I'm having a hard time working on hot 90 degree days. I want to be out in the sun sitting by my pool! Is that too much to ask?! Although, if Big A heard me say that, he would probably punch me because he has a hard time working on hot 90 degree days because he's in a shop working on cars and it sucks. So, shhhh don't tell him.
* I'm freaking out about a wedding that we have to go to this weekend. Big A has to work, at least part of the morning and it is a 2:00 PM wedding in Brewster which is about 2 hours away. I'm thinking that the traffic to the Cape on a Saturday is going to suck and we are going to miss the ceremony. I'm thinking I should maybe e-mail the bride and let her know, but we don't really talk much, so I think that would be weird.
* Once again I started writing this forever ago and got distracted. Oy. Some day I'll be able to focus on one task and keep on it until it is done.
* I'm super impressed with myself that the pool is so clean. I mean... I know that it means something WILL go haywire, but for now it looks pretty. Now, if I could only keep my house clean too. Whoops.
* Speaking of a clean house... we had two laundry baskets full of clean clothes in our office for a couple weeks that we never folded. So I just washed them again. They were wrinkly. Except, that was on Sunday and I still haven't folded them. Whoops again.
* I NEVER want it to be cold again. I want it to be Summer FOREVEEEEER!
Alright, that's all for today. Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Life Lately

Woah Nelly.
Life be crazy.
Work has been a special kind of ridiculous lately. We are switching over our systems this weekend so everything has to be done ASAP. Which is SO much fun. SO much fun.
Everyone seems to be freaking out a little bit, but I can't say I blame them. There's been a lot going on. One poor guy came up to me today and asked me which meeting he should go to. He had FOUR on his calendar for 8:00 AM this morning.
I just shook my head and said "sorry dude". I'm so helpful.
I feel like life is in a constant state of anxiety lately. I haven't been my best self, but we all have our dark moment, right?
Because there isn't enough going on in the world, I bought a new car last week. After some paperwork and registration problems, I spent the first hour of my Monday morning at the registry talking to some interesting individuals. What a way to start the week, right?
We are trying to sell my car which Big A and I are having a slight disagreement in the timeline for. I think it needs to be sold ASAP because I need to pay some stuff off to be able to afford it. He thinks we should wait until we get a good price. I tried to explain to him that it wasn't a possibility to do that, but it didn't seem to be getting through. I could feel my frustration rising and while part of me wanted to be a gigantic douche bag and flip out, I simple stated, "Dolph has zero dollars" and that seemed to get through.
I'm trying to be on my best behavior since I wasn't the nicest wife in the world this past weekend. No need to cause him to run away before our first year of marriage is over.
In other random news I forgot my rings and necklace today. I took them off to go swimming yesterday and never remembered to put them back on. I feel naked. I ALWAYS wear my rings and necklace. ALWAYS. It kind of feels like I forgot to wear pants, that's how essential they are to my daily routine. I'm sure that doesn't help with feeling "off".
I'm counting down the days, weeks, hours, minutes until vacation next week. It's going to be a ridiculous week and I'm super excited to bail out after Wednesday. I'm looking forward to hanging by the pool, going to the car shows, and then spending a week sitting on the beach on Martha's Vineyard. It's going to be well worth it after this week and a half of hell.
I've got a about 8,000 invoices to process. 62 million expense reports. Not to mention those "hey, can you add this to your mountain of a to do list real quick" requests. It's been fun.
Needless to say, I'm a tired, cranky, stressed out mess and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight.
And let's add in a sore neck because karma is a bitch. Note to self: If your boss hurts his neck and brings in a pastel green pretty little heating pad for it. And wears it to meetings. Don't make fun of him. You KNOW karma comes back to bite you in the ass and you will be in intense pain for days. Boo.
And that's about all that's going on with me. A whole bunch of crazy. A whole bunch of Coors Light drinking.
Also... a little reminder... if anyone is interested in guest posting for me while on vaca email me!

Monday, June 24, 2013


Hello Lovers!
I'm off nursing a sore neck that I slept on wrong and trying to curb my "It's Monday and I would rather be home drinking a beer" temper tantrum.
BUT... I realized that my vacation is a mere 2 weeks away.
Well...technically 9 days, but whose counting?! (MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!)
I'm looking for anyone who wants to guest post. There's 7 days that I won't be blogging, but I'll take what I can get. We all know I haven't been posting every day anyway.
Something about the Summer turns me into a slacker...naturally.
Email me if you're interested. Write about whatever you want.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013


I was having dinner tonight with a co-worker who was one of the first people that I met when I started at the company. He and I both worked for the same guy who eventually went to work for a different part of the company and so did we. Our paths don't often cross, but he was in town for a roll-out of new systems, processes, etc. that we are doing in my part of the company and asked if I wanted to go out for drinks.
If you have learned anything from me, you will know that this girl doesn't turn down a free drink. (Unless it is suspect of being a roofie colada and then I politely decline...usually...)
We were catching up on the past year since that was probably the last time that we talked at length, and I was telling him all about Big A and his cars. I went through the list of what "we" currently have and then what "we" have had over the years. (I put we in quotations because while these vehicles have impacted my life and I've driven all of them at some point, we all know that I have no ACTUAL right to them.) He commented on the fact that cars are Big A's passion and then he said something to me, which should have been a normal statement, but it really hit me.
He said, "So, what are YOUR passions?"
I couldn't answer it. I told him I didn't know anymore.
Truth be told, it's been a wild ride the past couple years. Big A and I got engaged and spent the next 16 months planning a wedding. Then a month later, we looked at our house and spent the next two months wrapped up in that. Then the past six months have been a whirlwind.
Between working on the house, personal issues, work, and life, I lost myself.
I ended up telling him about my blog, which is usually a no-no to me, but I trust him. I told him how much I used to enjoy writing it, but then I sold out. I linked it to Facebook, focused on creating a following, and lost what the whole point was. I used to LOVE writing. I had so much fun. I used to write about whatever I wanted and every so often someone would tell me that they loved my post and it felt good.
I still get that sometimes, but it doesn't feel as good.
So, I did what every rational person would do. I spent the rest of the evening talking about doing crazy stuff and how I never do anything exciting and then I came home and complained to my poor sweet husband who only got out the word, "Hi", before I completely unloaded this new complaint to him. Poor thing. Haha.
But it's true. I don't have any passions. I don't DO anything. I used to write, and read, and draw, and paint. Now... nothing.
So, I'm going to do something about it. At one point I had all of these dreams of making something from this blog. Or becoming a writer. Or... I don't know... enjoying my life.
I used to do crazy things. I would drive 2 hours on a whim to go to Red Lobster because I felt like it. I got a tattoo because I was in a really good mood one day and wanted to remember it. I planned a random vacation to Canada for New Year's because it seemed like a good idea so I did it.
Now? I spent an entire week going back and forth about buying a new car that I:
A) Knew was a good car, price, etc.
B) Knew would be a good replacement for my car that is getting older
C) LOVED and knew I deserved
I kept focusing on the "what-if".
What if...
It turned out to be a bad car?
I couldn't sell my car?
I didn't buy this car and something happened to mine?
Locusts came and took over the world and carried my new car away to be their castle?
I'm so sick of worrying about it all. Things happen in life. It smacks you in the face when you least expect it. Knocks you down. Tries to kick the fight out of you. But, you know what? I've always made it through, so I guess I am wondering what I was so afraid of to begin with?
Do I really want to live my life like that?
So I did something about it. First, I detached my blog from Facebook. Sure people can still look up my blog, but there's no more "drive-by" reading. Everyone who reads this will be here because they want to, not because a link popped up in their newsfeed and they decided to read it while they were taking a shit.
Second, I'm going to write more in my other blog. I started one a little while ago when I needed to write about things that I didn't want the entire world to read. Well... more that I didn't want the people in my "real life" to read. I have found that I'm 1,000 times more comfortable writing to the masses behind their computer screens rather than answering the questions of people who I know enough on Facebook, but not enough to share the intimate details of my relationship with. It really is true that you feel a lot tougher behind a keyboard. Although I vow to use my powers for good (i.e. complaining about the mundane details of my life) rather than bullying random people.
Third, I'm going to stop worrying about all of the stupid bullshit. Every single day I'm going to ask myself, "If this was the last day of my life, am I happy with the way I lived it?" If the answer is no, them I'm going to punch myself in the face and regulate this bitch.
I'm going to get back into drawing and painting more. Doing more artistic, crafty, creative things. I have a laundry list of projects that I want to do and I've been spending my time watching bad reality TV instead.
Last, I'm going to stop fucking caring about what other people think. Or what they are going to say. I am so fucking sick and tired of living my life for someone else. I'm over it. I don't care. Don't like what I write? Don't care. Surprised by something that I wrote? Maybe you don't know me as well as you think. Think I'm fucking hysterical and your hero? Then I'll buy you a puppy.
Obviously, I'm kidding about the last one. But, I'm so tired of watching everyone else do whatever the fuck they want and being HAPPY. I want to be happy. It will all work out. And if it blows up in my face? Then at least I tried.
So that's it. If you're here and reading then I'm glad to have you. For those of you who I have a close relationship with on here, if you want to read my other blog, e-mail me and I will send you the link. The whole point of this crazy blog world is to identify with those who have been through what you have been through. Or you can empathize with them. That's what I want for here. And while I'm not ready to put that all out there on here, I'm ready to start there.
And if you're reading P, thanks for asking some a seemingly simple question. You got my wheels turning. Next time you ask me that question I'm going to have a LIST of answers. Also... I'm not kidding about our bar, or our travel blog, or wearing a silly mustache during my webpage interview. Let's DO something fun! You only live once, right?!

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon for So What! Wednesday!
This week I'm saying So What! if...
* I haven't blogged since Friday. I haven't really had anything to say. I figured silence would be better than some fluff post. I've been reading other blogs here and there, but I've also been really busy at work, so that's been hard.
* I have this big looming to do list at work and have barely touched it. I have this wonderful personality trait where if I get overwhelmed with something I don't do it. I don't know where to start. Then I wait until the last minute and rush through it. Kind of like right now. With a whole bunch of shit to do before a 9:00 AM meeting and I've done... nada. Well... that's not true. I've prepped everything, I just haven't followed through yet.
* I got super excited to with the jeopardy portion of my training the other day. And everyone made fun of me because we thought I broke my bell. Apparently, I get competitive. It happens. I won a fancy new umbrella which helped in the monsoon that occurred yesterday!
* I was pissed that I spent so much time cleaning the pool the other day so I could take a dip and right before I was done a huge thunder and lightning storm rolled in. Not only did it kill my swimming dreams, but it blew a whole bunch of shit in the pool, making my cleaning non-existent.
* I'm buying a new car and I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I know it makes good financial sense. I need to get out of my car before it isn't worth anything. BUT, I HATE change. So... there's that.
* I'm finally just getting around to changing my name on the rest of my stuff. All I had left was my cell phone and a separate bank account. I needed my marriage license and kept forgetting to grab it. Turns out I had a copy in my desk the entire time. Whoops!
* I had so many emails open that it wouldn't let me open or send any more. I keep them open so I don't forget about them, but apparently that's too much for them.
* I went all day Monday without getting annoyed at ANYONE. It was a miracle. And a fun little day. It's amazing how much better your day is when people aren't pissing you off. Haha.
* I'm curious to see what Aaron Hernandez has to do with this homicide case that they are investigating. Apparently he's not a suspect, but a rental car in his name is somehow associated. Also, his house is amazing and he doesn't live that far away from me. Why aren't we friends?
* I would like to go on a shopping spree for new clothes. Except that whole money thing is getting in the way. I hate it when my lack of money gets in the way of my baller lifestyle. BOOOOO.
* I would like to fast forward through the next 19 days until I am on Martha's Vineyard with my ass in the sand and a drink in my hand. Wait... isn't that a song? If not, it should be. It's amazing.
Alright lovers. I'm out of here for today. Hopefully I'll be back more often, but someone's gotta tell work that they are getting in the way of my blogging. Thanks!
Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Friday's Letters

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Dear Phone, I hate you. Wish a passion. Seriously. I can't wait for August first. I'm going to get a new phone and then run over you with my car. UGH!
Dear Work Email, you aren't really doing much for my productivity when you NEVER work. First of all, we all know I have no problem playing on websites all day. Second of all, I have to constantly close out, wait for the scan to stop (so they can "fix the errors" *cough* *cough* bullshit *cough*), and then go back in and wait for it to come up. After about 0.5 seconds I've already forgotten what had just happened and don't realize that I have no email up for about 10 minutes. Sooo... if you want me to get shit done, then, work. Thanks.
Dear Google, oh google. While I love how informative you are, I do NOT like the fact that every health issue I look up results in me having some sort of the plague or some shit like that. I convinced myself that I had a thyroid issue by 8:30 AM. Then I realized that I've actually had my thyroid tested by actual doctors (not a website) and it was fine. Sooo.... thanks for nothing.
Dear Martha's Vineyard, I'm coming for you. Don't you worry my love, we will be together in 24 days. It will be magical. I promise.
Dear Self, you are doing SO good with paying off your credit cards. Seriously, job well done. HOWEVER, you need to stop using them. It kind of defeats the purpose. No, you do not need a personalized return address stamp from Etsy. No, you do not need random items of clothing from Marshalls. No, you do NOT need to go out for drinks (OK, maybe you need that one. You gotta LIVE). You are getting to the point where you will have to give them all back to Big A and you know how much you hate him having that power. So... cut the shit.
Dear Mumsie, thank you for FINALLY coming back home. I am not a fan of you being in a different country than me. Don't do it again.
Dear Bills, stop taking my money. I hate you!
Dear Rain, WTF?! Everywhere is flooded and there is no end in sight. OK... that's not true. I think this weekend is supposed to be semi-decent. Maybe. This is pretty much the only tan my Irish ass has ever seen and now it is going away. Ugh. Not to mention the money I'm essentially pouring down the drain from the chemicals for the pool and running it. Blarg.
Dear Letters to My 21 Year Old Self, you probably would have been a whole lot more interesting if my mother didn't read my blog, or my MIL, or my family members. Haha. Oh to be young and stupid again! Although I have to say, I don't think I would do anything different. Every stupid decision (and good) got me to where I am today. And this life ain't too shabby.
Dear Random Neighbors Whose Children Go to N's Center, thank you SO much for your sweet comments about our new fence. We love it too! I was a bit nervous that it would be too functional and not pretty enough, but I'm glad you like it. Sorry you can't see the pool anymore though. I promise that you don't want to see me in a bathing suit though, so... you're welcome.
Dear TV, I know that you always have your shows go on hiatus for the Summer because people are busy. BUT, seeing as how I'm stuck in my house, why not have a few new episodes just to hold me over. OK? OK.
That's it for today folks! Have a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Letter to My 21 Year old Self

When I heard that Holly and Jake were writing letters to their 21 year old selves, I knew I had to get in on it. 21 was a HUGE year for me. I know it was only 6 years ago, but it was definitely a LIFETIME ago.
I spent the first part of being 21 drinking all the time and spiraling out of control, and the second half drinking all the time and falling in love. It was a wild year.
So, here it goes...
Dear 21 year old Kayleigh,
Oh man, you are going to start this year off with a bang.
First of all, you're not fucking fat. Seriously. I want to punch you in the face. You GET fat. But this ain't it. Not anywhere near it. This is legit the lightest adult weight you will EVER be. You will never attain this again. I know it is because you're poor and can only afford Ramen noddles and booze, but enjoy it. Also, don't worry about the boobs... they get a bit bigger so you no longer look 12. You're what they call a "late bloomer".
Have fun spending New Year's with your friends in Canada. I know the idea was crazy and last minute and you totally don't have the money for it (and you're moving right before it), but do it! And do it 100%. You will look back on this trip FOREVER and wish that you had done more like it.
However, this will be your first lesson in why you should stay away from bartenders... and men in bars for that matter. I know he's cute, but the bottom line is that he lives in Canada, so don't even bother. AND, he will kiss your friend the next night...and talk about his large amount of cocaine use. Just say thank you for your drink and leave it at that.
Also, while I know you are "indestructible", staying out until 5 AM in a foreign place with an equally as drunk friend is not your best look. You make it back to the hotel somehow, but it was a bit of a dicey situation. So, just go back to the hotel when everyone else does, you don't need to be walking down alleys and random roads in the freezing rain and risk becoming a statistic.
Next order of business, STAY AWAY FROM MEN YOU MEET IN BARS. You will learn nothing from them other than you should have stayed away from them in the first place. And that they are assholes. Also, when you start meeting random white boys with grills who knock on your car window asking for your phone number, it is time to find yourself a new hang-out spot.
I know that it is super exciting that you can drink legally now, but take it easy. "Ladies Night" Wednesdays is not a good enough excuse to get plastered and spend all of the next day hungover. Plus, Mom and Dad are eventually going to get sick of your shit and give you a pretty awkward conversation.
Actually... I take that back. Drink girl... drink! You have some pretty crazy stuff coming up. Enjoy every single moment of your free and single self. That's all going to change soon. You won't regret losing your single life for a second, but you will be glad you took advantage of it when you're old and married.
Next order of not...I NOT talk to that random boy on MySpace. First of all, you're a normal person, you don't need to meet people on MySpace. Second of all, he is going to be the creepiest motherfucker you have ever met. He's weird, he's a loser, and he turns nasty quick. I know he seems nice enough, but he's not. He's a fucking weirdo. I can NOT stress this enough. The only thing you get out of knowing him is the pure pleasure of seeing people's shocked faces when you tell them the ridiculous stories that transpired.
This next point is VERY important. VERY. That party you don't want to go to on May 12th. GO! I know you have to babysit. I know you're hungover. I know you just want to crawl under your covers and die, but suck it up and go. It will be the night that changes your life forever.  And when that boy with the Chevelle talks to you, talk to him. I know you think he's rude for eavesdropping on your conversation, but he's cute, so let it slide. Also, when he tells you that he's "never going to find a girl like you, so he might as well put a ring on your finger right then and there" it isn't a line. And you know it. He WILL put a ring on it. He's going to take his sweet ass time doing it, but he will.
He's going to be an ass at times. And he's going to lack ANY sense of proper relationship etiquette for awhile, BUT... you're already a gonner girl, so don't even fight it. You're going to fall fast and quick, but don't worry, he'll catch you.
Be crazy. Break all the rules for him. When he calls you at 9:30 PM and asks you if you want to hang out, GO! I know the "rules" say that he should plan ahead and what not, but he will NEVER plan ahead. It isn't him. He was thinking about you and wanted to see you. Plus, you will have some of THE best memories with him that Summer. You WILL marry this man. 6 years later you're going to find yourself married, owning a house, and ridiculously happy. Like, more happy than you ever thought was possible.
And that's it girl. Enjoy every single second of this year. It's going to be one of the best of your life. You're going to constantly be wishing you were 21 again, for pretty much the rest of your life. You're also going to wish that could drink like you were 21 and bounce back like you used to. By 27 you're going to get a headache from a glass of wine and stay sober at parties because you don't feel like throwing up the next day. It sucks. So drink up girl, DRINK!
Your older, fatter, more responsible, deliriously happy, YOU!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon for "So What! Wednesday"!
This week I am saying So What! if...
* I wrote a super vague, whiny blog post yesterday. Thank you to everyone who sent me sweet e-mails commiserating with me. I wish I could go into more details, but I don't want people all up in my business. Not you guys, real life people. For whatever reason I am so much more comfortable sharing my deepest darkest secrets with strangers. People in everyday life? Not so much.
* I ate McDonald's for lunch yesterday. Yeah. I said it. I was going to get a smaller size of chicken nuggets but didn't see it on the menu and panicked, so I ordered the 10 piece. (Naturally I see it after I order. I think I will just get the Mighty Kids meal from now on) Then I told myself I would just eat until I was full and throw the rest away, but I forgot that I didn't eat breakfast. So I guess that all I have to say about this is "Moooooo".
* I'm already sick of this god damn rain. OK... so this isn't a "so what". It's real. I spend all this time and money on this pool and I get a weekend? I don't think so. Peace out rain. Come back in the Fall.
* If every single day I want to smash my phone against the wall. It sucks. It is possessed by the devil. Does random shit on it's own. Constantly freezes. Tells me there's no more space on it. It blooooows. The other day, it told me that I had no pictures or videos on it. Just for shits and giggles. It took me an hour and about 30,000 restarts to get my pictures back. UGH!
* I legit don't know what I did before Google. Seriously, do you know how many times a day I GTS? It's the answer to all of the problems. Except if it is a medical problem. Then it is the worst case scenario and I think Google is a cynical bitch. There, I said it.
* I love my husband so incredibly much. I do. And I know that I would miss him and it wouldn't last long, but... sometimes I wish I had my own room. With my own bed. I just want to sprawl out. But with a 6'2" man who sleeps like a starfish sometimes, and a Border Collie who takes up the MOST room possible, I usually get shafted in the sleeping area department.
* I have been going back and forth about going back to gel manicures. I love how long they last. I love how they make my nails grow quicker. BUT, I suck at taking it off and think that I just do more damage to my nails. And then I have to grow them out for them to not be shit anymore. I was thinking of just going and getting them professionally taken off each time, but that's time and money. But I hate when my nails are junk. Which is a good reason FOR and AGAINST it. Such hard problems I have. Haha.
Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

I've been stuck in my own head lately. Which is kind of my biggest down fall sometimes.
While my head can be a scary place at times, I've always enjoyed the fact that it is constantly going, spitting idea after idea, thought after thought. ADD can be a bad thing, but it has also given me some great ideas.
Now only if I could concentrate long enough to DO them! (Heh, a lil ADD joke for ya)
Patience isn't my strong point. I'm aware of this. When I want something I want it NOW. (Or yesterday) I'm kind of an asshole about it. Especially if I'm tired and what I "want" is for Big A to turn off the TV. Oh man...
The little sister in me comes out and I'm all "Turn it off. Can we please turn it off? Can we turn the TV off please? I'm soooooo tired. I'm getting cranky. I wanted to be asleep like 10 years ago. I need my sleep. I'm so tired. I'm going to be late for work." and that continues until he turns it off.
Now let's not all jump at the chance to take Big A's place. I know you are probably jealous because he gets to live with me, but there's enough of me to go around!
Oy! Sometimes I wonder why he married me.
Anywho... there are some things in life that I would like to change. Areas where I would like to grow. Goals I have set for myself.
But none of them are here yet. And as much as I can think and plan and so what and so forth, I really don't have any control over them happening. Which as you could imagine is frustrating.
All I can do is the best that I can and then I am forced to leave it up to the universe to provide. Which sometimes makes me want to punch puppies (it's a figure of speech, I would NEVER punch a puppy. I would adopt a thousand of them, but I would never do anything but snuggle them and feed them too many snausages).
The more frustrated I get, the more I perseverate on it, the more I research and google and THINK about it, trying to find SOME way to make it easier. Make it happen faster. There surely must be SOMETHING that I haven't thought of yet.
And before you know it, I'm completely obsessed and depressed that it hasn't happened and standing out in the rain like some horrible cliche Lifetime movie. Then I want to punch MYSELF in the face and tell myself to get the fuck over it.
Then I put on my big girl panties, rationalize that I'm awesome and just doing the best I can at life, and it will all work out in the end.
Until it doesn't happen fast enough after that and then just re-read the first part of this post about 6,000 times and that's my day.
I'm sure there's some lesson in all of this. Like how my mom said that when she was younger she asked for patience and got my brother and I. Haha. (Should have been more specific Mumsie)
Buuuuuuut, I'm not a fan of life lessons.
So here I am. Pretending NOT to obsess. Thinking of what horribly delicious lunch I will treat myself to so that I will feel temporarily better, but then worse as usually these types of lunches hurt my stomach.
And that's where I've been. I haven't written lately, because I really have nothing to say other than a whole big bitch bag of whine. And...
And since this always cures my grumps...

Friday, June 7, 2013

Friday's Letters

It's a rainy Friday today and I can't say I'm hating it. While I would MUCH rather it be 90 degrees, and of course I finally have time to work on the pool after work... I'll enjoy the chance to slow down for a minute.
Dear Big A, I'm an SO looking forward to our make-up date night tonight. I know that car was super exciting and you just HAD to get your hands on it, but I appreciate you making the effort to make up the time with me. Smooch!
Dear People at Work, I have been here 2 1/2 hours and none of you have bothered me today. I'm not sure if that is a reflection of your behavior or mine, but I have to say, we are all growing and I'm proud of us. (Just stay out of my cube and we will be cool!)
Dear Sprint, I have been a good customer for the past 10 years. You even said so in your hand-written thank you letter that you sent me for our anniversary. So... let's just skip this whole "I have to wait until August 1st to upgrade my phone" bullshit, and just let me do it now... without having to pay $179 to do it early. OK? Thanks.
Dear Mr. Fresh, thank you for being such a good boy last night at the Tupperware Party. However, sticking your nose on people's plates and being attached to the Tupperware lady's leg wasn't the best you could be. Let's pretend that you were properly trained. At least in public.
Dear Big A, thanks for saving me when I lit the grill on fire the other night. Although, to be fair, it wasn't my fault. We ALL knew it was a matter of time. Also, thanks for saying you will buy a new one. You buy the grill and I'll keep cooking on it baby!
Dear Self, resist the urge to google which grill is the best one to buy until you finish your blog post. You CAN focus on one thing at a time. The tick WILL go away. And you WILL survive. (Except you just answered an e-mail, so that's not really focusing on one thing)
Dear MIL, thank you for bringing over the delicious fruit platter last night. I'm even more thankful for it this morning because your lazy daughter-in-law couldn't be bothered to pack her lunch last night, so I just grabbed a container of leftovers and the fruit and threw it in my lunch bag!
Dear Self, you just googled "skull lunch bag" because you remembered yours was gross and you thought one with skulls on it would be cool. Fucking FOCUS girl!!!
Dear Blog, thank you for giving me an outlet to vent. Also, thanks for giving me a place where it looks like I am venting when I am really just having a conversation with my multiple personalities.
Dear N, why the EFF did you have to mention Chinese food? Now I need it in my life, immediately.
Dear Bank Account, you haven't really been matching up with the amount that I need for the shopping that I wish to do. I've been a good girl and pinching my pennies, but c'mon... give a girl a break! Momma needs new shoes, and clothes, and Tupperware, and anythingthatIseeinthestorethatisbrightandshiny!
Alright lovers. I'm off for the day. Happy Friday and have a great weekend!!!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon for another So What! Wednesday.
This week I am saying So What! if...
* I've been highly unproductive this week. I think the fact that I was SO productive the past couple weeks has worn me out. I think coasting through this week is JUST fine.
* I read a story about a woman who got fired for storing urine in her desk and all I could think of was damn she's crazy, while everyone else was talking about how she had a problem and needed help. The woman was trying to have a baby with her husband and she saved all of her urine. She tested every "batch" of urine with an OPK AND a HPT. Whaaaat?! And she was on baby websites all day long. Now, I could probably have more sympathy for someone who was struggling, but she had JUST started trying. She crayzay.
* I'm annoyed that Overstock keeps sending me coupons. It just makes me want to buy something. And I can't. So stop it. BUT, I love when they send them to me when I need something so I want unsubscribe.
* I'm super excited that I won $42 on scratch tickets the other day. I've been randomly buying $1 scratch tickets and hadn't had any luck. These ones, BAM. AND I scratched them without Big A so the money is miiiiiiine! Haha.
* I'm nervous about our reservations for our Martha's Vineyard trip. First of all, I'm going there by myself, well... with Mr. Fresh, who barks non-stop on the boat. I have only driven on the boat once and it wasn't in my mammoth of a car. So, that should be fun. Second, we couldn't get the time we want on the way back. We could only get 9:00 PM. If we can't get an earlier time, Big A is gonna make me switch it to Saturday and I don't waaaaaannnaaaaaaa! Wait List don't fail me now!
* I was all proud of myself for going grocery shopping and prepping my breakfast and lunches, except I only did 3 days and that ends today. Sooo... I'm apparently going to have to get my act together when I go home tonight.
* I rationalized not working out with the fact that I was eating OK. Except that I added in a whole bunch of ice cream, frozen yogurt, candy, cookies, etc. this week. What the hell is wrong with me? Haha. Bringing Sexy Back should be interesting tomorrow. Ugh.
* Sometimes I wish that my workplace had some more people my age. And then I remember that I don't really like people as a rule, so I'm not sure it would make a difference.
* Getting dressed for work every day is a struggle. I generally hate my work clothes. But I refuse to buy new ones because I hate spending money on clothes I won't wear all the time. So, I guess I just need to get over? Naaaah... I'll continue to complain. Haha.
Hope everyone has a fabulous Wednesday. I have date night with Big A, which involves picking up our new car and fixing my car window (don't be jealous), but we should still have fun...I hope... Haha.
Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tuesday Randoms

I don't have any specific to write about. Just some random tidbits to get you through the day.
* Every morning I drive to work down this long ass road. Seriously. I turn out of my driveway, immediately turn down this road and it is basically the only way to go to get back to "civilization", i.e. my work. And every single day it feels longer than the last. Sometimes I think I'm stuck in some weird matrix where I'll be driving forever and the road never ends. Get stuck behind a school bus? Forget it. You're on that baby for 20 minutes, easy. It's the worst.
* I have an irrational fear of drowning in my own pool. I mean... I suppose it is rational on some level, but I refuse to go in it when I am home alone. On Sunday, N came over for a little bit while Big A wasn't home, but she needed to get home to do her "chores" (hehe). It was a gorgeous day out and I would have loved to stay in the pool all day, but I felt like I needed an adult to watch me. I think I'll blame my mother for this one. :)
* My dear husband. Oh, you never know what that man is going to do next. Yesterday he called me around lunch time, which is strange. I call him back thinking the worst and he asks me if we have plans later... which is even stranger. I say no. He then tells me about this "deal" he may have found where this guy wants to get rid of this old car for almost nothing and he wants to go look at it. Later on, I get a text message with a picture of the car with the caption "my new project" apparently "we" bought another car last night. Because every family needs 5 cars. Good grief!
* Yesterday I stopped at the frozen yogurt store and got myself a treat after work to reward myself for not throat punching anyone at work. I work well with positive reinforcement...even if I'm using it on myself.
* I'm hosting a Tupperware party on Thursday and I keep forgetting about it until someone else mentions it. I'm secretly afraid that people will show up at my house on Thursday and I'm going to wonder why they are there. My house will be a mess. I'll be wearing or doing something embarrassing. And people will be at my house. Whoops!
* There's this woman at work who keeps asking me follow-up questions to conversations we never had. She will randomly stop by my desk or e-mail me and by like, "oh hey, did you ever get check into renting that elephant from the circus" and I have to explain to her that we never had the conversation. And she's all, "yes we did". Look lady, I pretty much make a profession out of writing in depth "to do" lists, and I'm pretty good at remembering to do my job, that conversation never happened. Weirdo.
* We are getting our new copier at work and are already warning people not to touch ours anymore. And then adding..."it's nothing personal, it's really about confidentiality" which we all know means, "you're the effing problem, don't touch my shit!"
* I get annoyed when my friends get busy at work and don't e-mail me back right away. And no one is blogging. So then I'm bored and actually have to do MY work. Don't you all know that you are here to entertain me? Sheesh.
* I have a hair appointment this afternoon and I keep going back and forth on what I should do. Part of me thinks that I should cut a few inches off since it is getting kind of long and stringy. The other part of me likes my long hair. But then I think that it will grow back in no time and it will feel so much better with a good cut. And then I think that I will be crawling into a corner and crying for cutting my hair. THEN I think that I wish I could just shave it all off and start over with unprocessed hair. Oof. I hate making hair decisions.
* More often than not, it takes me a good hour or so to write a blog post because I get distracted from time to time and google random shit. So far, I have googled questions about pool problems, cute hair cut ideas, and then crazy hair cuts because those are more fun. See:

I don't even know what this is supposed to be

This one is actually impressive. Creepy, but impressive

She has a freakin' LION on her head
Seriously, go google "cray hair cuts". It will give you a good laugh. I could have looked forever.
I can tell you one thing, I'm almost 90% sure that I'm NOT going with the lion cut, but you never know. Haha!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Weekend Recap

This weekend was a busy one. As most of them have been lately.
Let's start with Friday.
I left work at 12:00. It was glorious. I saw that it was supposed to be 90 at the end of the week and knew that I was itching to get in that pool. And then when 15 minutes into my day on Tuesday people were making me want to jump off the roof, I knew it was best for my safety (and theirs...because the other option would be pushing THEM off the roof) that I needed some time.
Mixed with the fact that N had a half day, and it was on.
I left work at 12, hit up the liquor store for some nice cold Coors, and headed home to get ready.
N showed up with lunch and some frozen beverages to mix with our beers...which was a Summer favorite last year. Marizzle stopped by for a little too.
It was perfect. The sun was warm, the pool temp was perfect, the beers were flowing (maybe a little too much...). Just what the doctor ordered.
The girlies left and Big A and I grilled some cheeseburgers and had dinner out by the pool. I was ready for bed by 8, but somehow managed to hang in there until about 10:30. Proud of me.
Saturday I woke up at about 9:00, which is uber early for me. It was hot, and I was awake, so I headed out to pick up Mumsie. We grabbed coffee and breakfast and headed back to the pool. We passed my MIL walking on our way to my house so I texted her and told her to head on over. Pickles showed up too. It was another nice girls' pool day. The sun was killah though and despite my best efforts, I still got burned. Not too bad though, I've definitely had worse.
I headed in to shower because we had a surprise 30th birthday party for our friend. It was such a nice day and as soon as the sun went down a little bit, the temp was PERFECT. It was so nice to see everyone and the birthday boy was so touched that everyone was there for his birthday.
In my efforts to no longer spend my days vomiting from the booze flu, I only had a few beers and then switched to water for most of the evening. Which meant that I was ready to hit the road at 10, but Big A wasn't having it. I finally dragged him out of there around 11:30, which wasn't too bad.
Sunday Big A was up early to go help J with some landscaping stuff at my FIL's house, and I was wide awake at 9:00 AM...again. I figure it isn't that bad, since I was asleep by midnight, I got a good solid 9 hours, which I don't get anywhere near during the week.
I got dressed, stopped for coffee, and was at the grocery store by 10:00 AM. Did you know that people are out and about at that ungodly hour? Weirdos.
I did my long overdue grocery shopping (only forgetting one thing on my list) and headed home to meet N. She came and swam for a little bit, but we were both still kind of burnt so she didn't stay long. Plus, we both had stupid chores to do, so it was probably for the best.
Big A came home and we hit up Bradishes for lunch. I'm sure you have heard me mention this place before. It is a shack in our town that opens up from Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day weekend. The burgers and onion rings are AMAZING. And it is super cheap. We got two burgers, a hot dog, onion rings, and two drinks for like $15. That's my kind of meal.
We headed home and Big A continued his adventures for the day. I fussed with the pool chemicals (and bleached my dress...waaaah!) and then headed to the parentals' house for family dinner. We had a fun night eating delicious food.
I headed home around 9:00 prepped a bunch of food for the week and was highly disappointed when I found out that Keeping up with the Kardashians didn't record. That is just not cool. Luckily I was able to record the 11 o'clock showing, so don't worry, I'll be watching it tonight.
That's all for my fabulous weekend. We have rain today, which I don't mind so much since it was so hot over the weekend and I have plenty of things that I need to do inside the house. Next weekend is pretty free, but unfortunately it doesn't look like it will be pool weather. Bummah!
Hope everyone had a great weekend and that Monday isn't too painful for you. I've started the new plan of ignoring everyone at work that bothers me. Seriously...just straight up ignoring them. I have some unanswered emails that are probably just going straight into the trash bin. I'm not spending another week all stressed and hyped up like I was last week.
PS...I've been noticing a good visitor count each day/week/month, but only hearing from a couple of you. Say hi why dontcha! Leave a link to your blog too if you have one, I'm always looking for new ones.
PPS...Can anyone else believe the incredible amount of pregnant bloggers? I feel like every blog post I read is of someone announcing a pregnancy or doing a bumpdate...must be something in the Blogger water! Congrats to all the Mommys to be!