Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

I've been stuck in my own head lately. Which is kind of my biggest down fall sometimes.
 
While my head can be a scary place at times, I've always enjoyed the fact that it is constantly going, spitting idea after idea, thought after thought. ADD can be a bad thing, but it has also given me some great ideas.
 
Now only if I could concentrate long enough to DO them! (Heh, a lil ADD joke for ya)
 
Patience isn't my strong point. I'm aware of this. When I want something I want it NOW. (Or yesterday) I'm kind of an asshole about it. Especially if I'm tired and what I "want" is for Big A to turn off the TV. Oh man...
 
The little sister in me comes out and I'm all "Turn it off. Can we please turn it off? Can we turn the TV off please? I'm soooooo tired. I'm getting cranky. I wanted to be asleep like 10 years ago. I need my sleep. I'm so tired. I'm going to be late for work." and that continues until he turns it off.
 
Now let's not all jump at the chance to take Big A's place. I know you are probably jealous because he gets to live with me, but there's enough of me to go around!
 
Oy! Sometimes I wonder why he married me.
 
Anywho... there are some things in life that I would like to change. Areas where I would like to grow. Goals I have set for myself.
 
But none of them are here yet. And as much as I can think and plan and so what and so forth, I really don't have any control over them happening. Which as you could imagine is frustrating.
 
All I can do is the best that I can and then I am forced to leave it up to the universe to provide. Which sometimes makes me want to punch puppies (it's a figure of speech, I would NEVER punch a puppy. I would adopt a thousand of them, but I would never do anything but snuggle them and feed them too many snausages).
 
The more frustrated I get, the more I perseverate on it, the more I research and google and THINK about it, trying to find SOME way to make it easier. Make it happen faster. There surely must be SOMETHING that I haven't thought of yet.
 
And before you know it, I'm completely obsessed and depressed that it hasn't happened and standing out in the rain like some horrible cliche Lifetime movie. Then I want to punch MYSELF in the face and tell myself to get the fuck over it.
 
Then I put on my big girl panties, rationalize that I'm awesome and just doing the best I can at life, and it will all work out in the end.
 
Until it doesn't happen fast enough after that and then just re-read the first part of this post about 6,000 times and that's my day.
 
I'm sure there's some lesson in all of this. Like how my mom said that when she was younger she asked for patience and got my brother and I. Haha. (Should have been more specific Mumsie)
 
Buuuuuuut, I'm not a fan of life lessons.
 
So here I am. Pretending NOT to obsess. Thinking of what horribly delicious lunch I will treat myself to so that I will feel temporarily better, but then worse as usually these types of lunches hurt my stomach.
 
And that's where I've been. I haven't written lately, because I really have nothing to say other than a whole big bitch bag of whine. And...
 
 
And since this always cures my grumps...
 


4 comments:

  1. Aw, no self comforting with food! Then Thursday will come and be all like, yo you ate poorly.

    I'm only kidding...but is this what I think it's about?

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  2. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I think I know what you are talking about and have absolutely no experience in this area, so I don't have any advice. But things happen in their own time, which I know is not the answer you want to hear, but it's the best I got today. Hope you are having a great day and that your lunch was effing delicious!

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  3. I know exactly how you feel, I over analyze everything especially now that I am pregnant I am more paranoid and stuck on google than ever before! I always have to tell myself that things will work out the way they are supposed to and that in the end it won't matter how much I've worried. It's much easier to say than do......

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  4. Hang in there, go snuggle your pups and hopefully you'll feel better!

    Not that I'm glad that you and your husband argue over the tv.. but I am glad me and T aren't the only ones that have this argument. haha. He's watching Dr. Who right now.. and I completely despise it uhg lol

    Jen
    Jen.amileamemory@gmail.com

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