Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday's Letters

Jumping right in this week...

Dear Friday, umm... seriously?! You suck. You started off sucky. You are continuing to BE sucky. I just want to throw a temper tantrum and go home. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Dear Big A, you were such a trooper for going to the Infant CPR & Safety class last night. I mean... you didn't have a choice, and it was something we NEEDED to do, but you could have been a douche during it. And you weren't.

Dear Mr. Fresh, dude, your behavior yesterday was unacceptable. I can't even deal with you when you're acting like that. And I know you are just going it for attention. And yes, I had to lock you out of the bedroom. It was that or say mean things to you. I needed a moment. How about we cut it out? Deal?

Dear Baby P, here's the deal dude. I understand you're in tight quarters, but it is EXHAUSTING when you wiggle ALL DAY LONG. My app says you are supposed to sleep a lot. don't. You're always moving. Don't get me wrong, I love the constant reminder that you are doing well and just chillin' in there, but how about you go a little easier on your 'ole Mom. Deal?

Dear IRS, I don't know why you have decided to screw me this year, but I don't appreciate it. We were counting on a big tax return and we are getting like 1/3 of what we thought. No bueno. You better hope I get a big fat bonus, otherwise I WILL cry.

Dear Rings, I miss you. Oh so much. But we needed to part ways before someone had to cut you off. I mean, we made it this far. And at least my fingers don't LOOK like they are huge, fat sausages, but it was better safe than sorry. We had one too many close calls and I was not going to watch  you get ruined!

Dear Pregnancy, why are you 40 weeks long? I mean, I think on some of those lower developmental weeks we could probably speed things up and do this business in like... 35 weeks? Whatcha think.

Dear Doctor Lady, please don't take back the ultrasound you promised we could have. Well... you didn't promise, but you said we would. And I'm super looking forward to it. Don't listen to the lady who says "I think he must have moved, but I don't know, I can't tell". Obviously she is NOT sure and you know better. So let's do this business.

Dear Big A, I don't know how you knew that I needed a little pick me up, but thank you so much for your sweet text this morning. My day is blowing major chunks and it was just what I needed. You're the best.

Dear Today,  waaaaaaaaaaah! Cut it ooooouuuuuttttttt!

Alright, that's enough whining for today. Hopefully things will improve, otherwise I will be the one sobbing quietly under my desk. Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Why I Have No Plans for My Baby

Recently, I've been getting into a lot of conversation of what my "plans" are for various things involving the baby.

Are you hoping for a natural birth?

Will you be breastfeeding?

Will you be nursing?

Where will he be sleeping?

Who will be bringing him to daycare?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

There's a whole lot of planning that goes into having a baby. From the beginning (making, said baby) to the middle (growing, said baby), to the end (having, said baby), and beyond (raising, said baby).

I've been asked about classes that I will be taking, or research I've done, books I've read.

And you know what my answer is?

The short answer: I don't know.

The long answer: I am not hoping for a natural birth at all, in fact if I could get the epidural NOW, I would. But, I will do whatever I need to do. Whether that be natural, vaginal, c-section, upside down, left and right. I'm hoping to get some sweet, sweet drugs, but I know shit happens. I'm going to try breastfeeding, but if it isn't working for us then I have no problem with formula. Babe will be sleeping in our room in a pack 'n play until I am comfortable enough with him going into his own bed, which hopefully, will not be long. No clue about daycare. I can't even tell you for sure when he will be there. I am not taking any classes (other than a quick maternity tour and a CPR class). I have done almost no research (sometimes I'll click on a link of an email to find more information about something). I have read no books. 

I have no plans. None.

Honestly, I'm quite familiar with the type of person I am. We have been homies for 28 years, so I think that I know myself a little bit. I know that I'm a control freak, that I like to have a plan, and that I do NOT do well at all when the plan doesn't go accordingly. If I have learned anything from my first pregnancy, it's that I have absolutely no control over this.

I mean, granted, there's things I CAN do. Eat right, stay away from bad things, be healthy, go to the doctor, etc. But outside of that, I have no control. I can't control how this baby grows or moves, or whether he was a he or a she, or when he is coming out. Or how. I have no control. So, making a plan, in a situation with absolutely NO control seems silly. For me.

I've heard of SO many women who are so disappointed because their pregnancy or delivery or breastfeeding or child rearing doesn't work out how they "planned". They only wanted to gain X pounds but now they resemble a small Mammoth. They wanted a natural delivery, but they need a c-section. They wanted to breastfeed but their milk never came in. They wanted to raise their child to be a valued member of society, but he chooses to run around on the ceiling at restaurants and light small fires in your house.

Honestly, shit happens and you can't control it.

So, for once. I'm not.

Whatever happens, happens. Personally, I have checked the box that says, "please give me the epidural as soon as physically possible" but there's a chance that someone could be wrong and I can't have it, or it's too late. And I'll deal with that then (by cursing out my husband, berating the hospital staff, and making everyone promise to buy me copious amounts of presents).

As long as my baby boy gets here safe and sound (and hopefully NOT late) I'm all good.

We'll see how he gets here.

We will see how breastfeeding goes. Maybe my milk won't come in. Maybe it will be a baller supply. Maybe he will hate it. Maybe I will. Maybe I will decide that relaxing with a glass of worry-free wine is more important than the whole breast vs. formula debate.

Maybe he will spend a couple nights in our room and then go into his. Maybe it will take a couple weeks or months. I DO know that the plan is to make sure that he is sleeping in his room on his own by 6 months, so at some point my sweet little baby is getting kicked the fuck out of Mom and Dad's room and going into his beautifully decorated nursery. But maybe it will be harder or easier than I imagine.

We'll give him solids when he's ready. And ween him off breast milk or formula when ready. And potty train him when he's ready (or when I'm ready).

And if yelling at him gets through to him, I'm going to yell. And if talking calmly and rationally works for him, then I'll do that. If threatening him with Krampus all year round works, then you best believe that we will be stealing some tricks from the Germans.

I'm going to lie to him and tell him that Santa's real and when his little boy innocence goes away, I'll explain to  him why. I'll tell him that some things (like Mommy's juice, and Daddy's bad words) are just for adults. And not give into his every whim.

And sometimes I will let him stay up late, or snuggle in our bed for a little bit if he is scared, or take him out of school because Mom needed some QT with him and we will head off to the movies.

I'm going to do everything wrong. And everything right. And I'm going to make that decision when the situation arises.

And you know what, everything will be OK.

And if my kid ends up some terrible human being then it won't be because his parents didn't love him, or that he had a horrible childhood, it will be because sometimes no matter how much you do right, people still do their own thing. That's the wonderful (and terrible) thing about free will.

And then I will smack him upside the head, remind him of Krampus, and tell him that even at 30 years old his mother can still kick his ass.

That's it. There are no plans for this little one. It will be what it will be.

But, I do know one thing...

It's going to be one hell of a ride.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon for So What! Wednesday!

This week I am saying So What! if...

* I thought of punching my dear sweet husband in the mouth the other night when he informed me that he needs to be home more often now to keep an eye on my since I'm "large and in charge". I then realized, that while it would be incredibly satisfying, I might not stop hitting him, and I need his presence when this Little One finally decides to join us. Oh men... when will they learn.

* I will literally cut a bitch if they get in the way of my dinner tonight. We are FINALLY going out for my birthday dinner to my most favorite restaurant. We wait for the holidays to calm down a bit, but due to the snow and stuff too, we had to wait even longer. Lobster ravioli, here I come!

* I think I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm all set with the bullshit and I'm just going to stop trying. I've tried to keep my life relatively drama free, and have been succeeding at it for a few months now. It's amazing how much easier life can be when you trim the fat a bit. But, it might be time for another round. I'm too old for the games and lies. Some people are made for each other. Who am I to get in the way of their beautiful (fucked up) friendship? Big and I know who's there for us and who isn't. I think it is important that I really think carefully about the type of people I let in my son's life. It isn't just about us anymore. I want him to grow up knowing what quality people look like. Not growing up wondering why Mommy and Daddy's friends are freak shows. Ya know.

* I'm pretty sure that I either broke or damaged my horn this morning. You see, I have a habit of hesitating too long in situations and honking at inappropriate times. Like, 5 minutes later at the same car that cut me off, when they are just leisurely driving in front of me now. It's like I react, decide to calm down, decide that I'm still pissed, and honk, but then so much time has passed that it is no longer relevant. This morning, I used it twice in a row, appropriately. Although, I might have been a little overzealous and it was sounding a bit haggard the second time. Whoops!

* I can't wait for the moments where I can stand up and not feel like my bladder is going to explode like a water balloon on the pavement. When I can sit in a chair, comfortably, without constantly wiggling. When I can wear a pair of pants that button and zipper so I can stop feeling like potty-training toddler who can't be trusted to make it to the bathroom on time if she has to fiddle with such things. This baby's days on the inside are numbered!

* I think one of my pregnancy apps is super inappropriate. It sends you daily messages, kind of like a text, but IN the app. Yesterday it was telling me to start my perineal exercises and telling me to get my partner involved... umm... noo I will not be having my partner massage my bottom. And today it says, "Oh no, I got my first hemorrhoid. My doctor says it's normal, but I'm so upset". How are these helpful? They provide me with no helpful information and I find myself just shaking my head. Oy.

* The fact that none of my work systems function with the newer versions of IE, so I'm WAY behind in versions and I feel like I'm in the fucking ice age makes me so annoyed. I mean, honestly, the shit they spend money on and they can't drop a little change to bring us up to this year? Oy.

Alright, that's enough complaining for today. Head on over to Shannon's blog and link up!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Bumpdate: 32 Weeks

January 21st – January 27th, 2014

So what has been going on this week?
It’s been a busy, busy, BUSY week. We did a lot of work on the nursery to get it ready enough for all of the stuff we were bringing home from the Baby Shower. I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday the 24th. Big week people.

How far along?
32 Weeks.

Maternity Clothes?
I miss pants that have buttons and zippers. I want to feel like a big kid again.

Stretch Marks?
Eek! Yes. I’ve seen a couple small ones on my sides and a couple small ones towards the middle of my stomach. I am slathering oil like crazy and they look like they are fading! I’ve been using the oil stuff I had before, but my mom just ordered me the Mama Mio Oil since everyone is raving about it. I honestly don’t care about the ones on the inside of my thighs because no one will see them, but I can NOT have them all over my stomach. I know I don’t have a lot of control over it, but I’m going to try like hell!

Wiggle Worm central. My app said that he is starting to run out of room so he will be more wiggling around than giving big kicks and hits. Umm… that transition happened a couple weeks ago. Every so often he uses my insides like bongos, but for the most part he’s just squirming. I hope he’s not running out of room already! Although he’s always been measuring ahead, so who knows!

Food cravings?
I am freaking KILLING it with the food. I’m not perfect. Things happen (like Cadbury mini eggs… which I avoided as long as I could since they came out the beginning of JANUARY) but for the most part, it’s cereal for breakfast; fruit, yogurt, or granola bar for snacks, a relatively healthy lunch of leftovers or salad, a smoothie in the afternoon, and a relatively healthy dinner. I’m loving fruit, which is just the cold/sweet snack that I need. No ice cream in almost 3 weeks!

Nausea, vomiting, or sickness?
Nope. Doing good. (*knock on wood*)

What I miss:
Wine. Italian subs. Sleeping on my stomach. Not being tired. A waist line. Being able to put my shoes on without a struggle. Getting up from the couch without grunting. Not feeling like a poltergeist is going to rip through my belly button. Being able to do more than one thing in a day. Yep, yep, and yep.

Round ligament pains are a bitch. I mean, I’ve had them since before I saw those two pinks lines (it’s actually the reason I took a test, I remembered them from my first pregnancy. When doctors tell you that they don’t happen for awhile, they lie) but they are pretty killer lately. And last a little longer than the initial zing they used to have. Heartburn is a beast. And the breathing. Same ish different day. The NP told me that all pregnant women have trouble breathing and I should know the difference between that and when I should use my inhaler. I then wondered if she had checked my chart to see that I’ve been to the doctor, hooked up to an ekg to check my heart, and then sent to a pulmonary specialist who then put me on a daily inhaler (and upped my dose) because it isn’t just normal “trouble breathing” it’s that my body is a total hot mess of symptoms mixing together with shit I already had and making it worse. No? Ok. Thanks lady!

Best moment this week?
Getting to hear his sweet heartbeat at my appointment! Hitting 8 months officially (sometimes I pretend that it really IS 9 months and I’m almost done…rather than the actual 10). My Baby Shower. It was a big week.

I did my prenatal yoga DVD and went for a walk with KG (in the rain and cold – commitment). Plus I’ve been pretty much non-stop so that helps I’m sure.


I’m not answering this. Every time I say something I screw myself. Although I did wake up with splitting side pain last night which concerned me, but I think I was just sleeping weird and there was probably a baby wreaking havoc on my insides. So that was fun.

What I'm looking forward to?
Getting everything organized from the shower. Going on a massive shopping spree with Ma Dukes to get the rest of the stuff we need. Moving upstairs. Seeing my GORGEOUS bathroom finished. (Seriously, it is going to be amazing). Everything. Life is good!
Bert bomb. Once again. He loves to be in pictures. And also legit will not leave my side. He's such a good boy!

He just needed some love and attention. I think someone's worried about not being Mama's Baby anymore. I try to tell him that we are just getting a new bud to play with and that he's going to LOVE him when he starts eating solids, but he's still skeptical.

Linking up with Kristen over at Mama and Mou!

Monday, January 27, 2014

Baby Shower Weekend

This weekend was a busy one, and that's pretty much the understatement of the year.

I won't get into details about absolutely everything, but I will chose to focus on the happy and the positive.

Saturday was my Baby Shower and I have to say that my girls absolutely KILLED it.



N organized the whole thing with the help of my mom, my MIL, Jackums, and Mrs. C. They are FAR too good to me!
We chose to have a skull theme due to my ever growing love for all things skulls. It pretty much would have been skulls either way, but it was easier to go off and running with it once we learned that Baby P was indeed a boy!

They picked these invites and they could NOT have been more perfect. They had everything going off these colors (which are from his nursery) and theme:

Sorry for the ugly X's on them. Couldn't have you knowing all of our info.

They started planning this back in October and I couldn't believe when it finally got here. Time most definitely has been flying by. I knew I would be 32 weeks when we had my shower, but that seemed like a lifetime away. And look... that time has already come and gone!

My plan was to get there right as it was starting, but I was a last minute Larry and some things took priority over preparation. I got there about 30 minutes after it started, but everyone was already there. I was hoping to greet everyone as they came in, so that I wouldn't have to do the big go around, but whatever. Things happen. It was nice to get to see everyone.

My gorgeous friends who helped put this together (except Mrs. C who is behind the camera) and then all of our guests who came to celebrate the arrival of Baby P!

My lovely friends. And that's Ma Dukes and I in the bottom corner. You know... I feel like I look awesome when I look in the mirror and then someone takes a picture and it looks like a put on a fat suit and then gained 50 pounds, and then ate another person in a fat suit. Don't they say the camera adds 300 lbs?!

The food was absolutely amazing. We had the shower at a local restaurant that we frequent regularly. They did an absolutely amazing job and there is literally not one thing that I would complain about. And we all know that I can ALWAYS find something to complain about.

Once again I was so humbled by the love and support that both Big A and I have. Through the Wedding planning, the Wedding, buying our house, and now having our first child. We truly are blessed with some absolutely amazing people in our lives and I can not thank everyone enough for what they have done.

A little sample of the presents. And the cupcakes which my mom picked out. She was so excited for them. And who could blame her? They were PERFECT!

Also, it's a terrible picture, and I'm working on getting a better one, but I have to mention the amazing diaper motorcycle that KG made. It was freaking AMAZING! And there's a T-Rex riding it. I mean... a motorcycle made out of diapers, with a T-Rex riding it, a sippy cup for the headlight, a blanket and socks holding it together and as the handle bars, and a set of keys. It was pretty much the most bad ass things I have ever seen. Especially since KG knew that no regular bear or dog stuffed animal would do, it HAD to be this T-Rex. She knows Baby P is bad ass already!

The decorations. See what I mean about killing it?! The favors were wine glasses painted with skulls on them. I mean... could they BE more perfect? I got to take home a whole bunch. I'm super excited to use them.

As a activity (since I wasn't opening presents... best idea ever! They just put a sign on the present table saying that I would be opening my gifts at home so that I could have more time to spend with everyone. It took a lot of the pressure off and made sure that I got to get some good QT with everyone, rather than rushing through it) they had onesies and bibs for people to decorate. They were so cute! They also had diapers for people to write little messages on so that we could read something funny while we had those late night changings.

It was an absolutely amazing day.

A few extra pictures from the weekend:

From top to bottom, left to right: 1) I hand painted martini glasses to say thank you to everyone who put together the shower. I included some mini drink mixes to go with it so they could have a little treat. 2) My latest splurge. A totally unnecessary mini chair for the nursery, but it was in the theme colors and had old cars on it, I mean... it was MADE for my kid. 3) The rocking chair arrived on Friday. So I of course put it all together. 4) A sample of all the presents in the nursery. There's a whole bunch of stuff tucked around the room too.
Our stash from the diaper raffle. We definitely have some time before we have to buy our own diapers. We have from Newborn to Size 3, so at least we have a bag/box to get us started each time he grows out of a size before we need to rush to the store!
My parents and brother came over on Sunday for brunch and to help with all of the presents. They brought everything up from the basement and we all went through it. I opened, my mom wrote it down, my dad folded all the bags, and my brother took care of all the trash.

We opened everything and made a big dent in organizing everything. There's still a whole bunch of work to do and things to get, but they were so amazing to help so much.

I got a good start on my thank you notes last night since I was just sitting and watching TV. Of course, I had to have them specially designed and who else would do it but my fellow pregnant buddy Kristen!

Seriously, if you need custom ANYTHING, go to Little Laws Prints. I have NEVER been disappointed and Kristen is a dream to work with!

After that, Big A and I decided to just order some take out and have a quiet night in. It had been a LONG weekend and we were both exhausted.
My guys, relaxing on the couch. Pretty soon there will be a little man getting cozy with them too! I've chosen not to think of it as me being outnumbered by three males in my house, but more that I am their Queen! Yeah... I like that!

All in all. A long, good, crazy weekend.

Now to finish organizing, finish the bathroom upstairs, move our furniture, organize the downstairs, and get everything ready. Only 7 more weekends until Little Dude is supposed to be here!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Grocery Shopping Etiquette

Has anyone ever noticed that people at grocery stores are all fucking assholes?




I mean, people at most stores are assholes, but it seems like you have to be a special kind of idiot to go grocery shopping. Well... for the most part. Not me. And maybe not you...

Maybe it is just my grocery stores.

I go into the grocery store with the mindset of a fucking NINJA! Get in, get out, with as little human interaction as possible. I'm not there to chat, I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to stock my cabinets and fondle produce.

I used to try to go shopping with a friend, but it never worked out well. I don't like having to wait for anyone. I don't want to go down aisles that I don't need to. And I don't want to wait in line for someone.

I can go with my mom, but that's only because she lets me boss her around. Most of the time.

My poor mom.

Anywho... I thought it would be helpful to chat about some important parts of grocery store etiquette. I thought I had written this post before, but I can't find it. So, if I didn't here it is. And if I did...well here it is again.

1. Be Aware of Your Surroundings

I am the size of a Mammoth. A fucking MAMMOTH. I am currently 1 1/4 human. There is NO WAY that you can't see my and my massive beer gut. You don't walk into anything else. Just me. Knock it off.

2. Know that You are Not the Only Person in the Store

This could probably go under "Be Aware of Your Surroundings" but I wanted to stress this point seperately. This is not "Douchebag's Super Market". It's Stop & Shop. Your name ain't on the sign. You don't own this place. So, at any given time, there could be other people in the store. *Gasp* I know. Which means that when you put your cart in the middle of a fucking aisle and then stand in the open space next to it, no one can get by. I've been working on astral projection, but have yet to perfect it in my pregnant state. I'm worried my baby will be put all back together weird, like a messed up Mr. Potato Head. So, I need you to move when I'm coming down the aisle. As much as I'm sure that you're pretty exciting, I didn't come here to watch you shop. So move Bitch, get out the way...

3. Regulate Your Children

I know I'm going to catch a whole bunch of shit for this one, but one of my biggest pet peeves is children out at stores, retaurants, etc. acting a fool. I was never allowed to, in working with children for over 10 years THEY were never allowed it. It wasn't tolerated. Therefore, when I'm rushing through the grocery store and I can't get by your kid who is swinging from the shelves, throwing shit all around, or acting like a damn hyena in the middle of the aisle while you are blissfully unaware while pondering which econo size of mayo to buy? I get annoyed. Regulate your child. I've been pulled out of a grocery store before. I've pulled children out of a grocery store before. Now it's your turn.

4. Check Yourself Before you Wreck Yourself

Here's the thing. Most of the time if something goes down I will let it slide. A quick smile and an "I'm sorry" and I got from "I'll cut a bitch" to "Oh no worries". Seriously people, I'm THAT easy (just ask my husband, heh) However, if I continously run into problems with you, then I'm going to get pissed. I'm probably not going to do anything about it, but you better hope you don't drop a $20 or something because I will most def be picking it up. Also, a kind "excuse me" goes a long way. I once had a woman purposefully walk into me with her cart, not saying a word, because she wanted to be where I was. She could have gone around me, but no, she wanted my exact spot. Not a word. Just smashed into me and looked at me. Umm... sorry your highness, but I'm not done getting what I want here. I'm not moving so you can get what you want. Dick. 

5. Don't be a Dick

Even in my not so large days, there was no way in hell that I could fit next to my cart in the register aisle. No one can except maybe one of those paper thin runway models. Which means, I have to unload all my items onto the belt, then move my cart back, shimmy around it, and push it down to the end for the bags. Being so close that you could dry hump my shopping cart doesn't work for me. Especially since the asshole behind you is probably nose deep in your butt too so now we ALL have to move and I feel like a Moose. Also, pushing your cart up so far that I can't reach the credit card machine is a Dick move too. I will "accidentally" bump into your cart and giggle to myself when it hits you in the stomach. 

These aren't hard things to remember. Honestly. If you are a decent human being then these things should be second nature to you. It just takes a few extra seconds to be a kind friend in the grocery store and it really does go a long way. A simple "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" could really make the difference between me "accidentally" smashing my shopping cart into the side of your car or not. (Whoops! I'm just so damn clumsy these days)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

It Ain't All Rainbows and Butterflies

I've decided that I'm no longer talking about how I'm sleeping during my bumpdates.


I swear that as soon as I say that things don't suck in that department, all hell breaks lose. 

Last night was terrible. TERRIBLE.

I woke up with horrible back pain. I couldn't get comfortable. Everything hurt. I had trouble breathing. It was horrible.

I felt bad that I kept waking Big A up since I knew he had to get up early to go plowing. I tried to stay still, but it was excruciating. So I would switch positions and then it would be tough to breathe while everything "settled". And then I would have to go to the bathroom.

It sucked.

At about 3:00 AM I went out onto the couch. By this time the dog was wide awake too. He had been coming into the bedroom, pacing near my side of the bed, and then followed me out into the bedroom. I wondered if this was pre-term labor and he was freaking out. That's how bad the pain was. But they said the back labor would feel like it came in "waves" and it was just constant, so I threw that out the window. It was just so nerve-wracking, I was nervous something was wrong.

Turns out that I just kept waking him up to the point that he was probably like, "what the hell is wrong with you lady". 

I went out onto the couch and tried to get comfortable, but the dog was all up in my face, and the heaters were making noise, and then the fridge kicked on, and then 12,000 plow trucks and sanders went by. I just cried. I wondered how I was going to get through this. When would the pain stop? Would I ever sleep again? I just wondered how I was going to make it through the next 8 weeks. So I cried.

By this time the baby was wide awake too, so Baby P was bumping all around which didn't help sleep either.

Luckily, due to the impending snow I brought my laptop home (sans power cord, ugh) so I could work from home today. The snow wasn't that bad, but I texted my boss and told him I wasn't feeling well and I was working from home today. My maternity leave comes out of my sick time and I'm taking some vacation time to stay home longer, so I really can't take any time OFF. I'll still have about 6 months left in the year by the time I'm back from maternity leave so I need to save some time off so we can still go on our vacation to Martha's Vineyard, or have some back up in case I need time off for something.

Honestly, I know I'm so lucky because I have 4 weeks vacation, but this year it doesn't seem like enough. So, I'm a little nervous about how the next 8 weeks are going to go when I don't have the option to stay home if I need to. 


I know that I haven't been all "rainbows and butterflies" at ALL during this pregnancy. It's no secret that this has not been my most favorite thing in the world. Pregnancy isn't my thing. Super excited about the squishy baby, NOT loving this whole body takeover thing. 

But today?

Today pregnancy sucks.


I know that I should be grateful that I have been having a relatively uneventful pregnancy. That I'm healthy and my son is healthy and that I'm almost done. I KNOW this.

But it is EXHAUSTING being uncomfortable all the time. Being in pain. Not sleeping. And it is wearing on me. Hard.

So, today it sucks. Today I hate it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. There's nothing like a good night's sleep to give you rose colored glasses.

And if not... then I have 7 weeks and 6 days... I'm sure I can survive that.

I hope. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Bumpdate: 31 Weeks

January 14th – 20th, 2014

So what has been going on this week?
Same old. Same old. I helped throw a baby shower for a friend of mine on Saturday so that was a lot of fun to put together. The weather put a bit of a damper on things, but for the most part people were troopers! It was so much fun to catch up. C and I have been friends since Middle School. We got married a month apart and our baby boys will be about a month apart.

How far along?
31 Weeks.

Maternity Clothes?
Oh yeah. I still have some tank tops and sweaters that I can wear, but for the most part, this bump ain’t going NOWHERE. I don’t really care much for regular pants though. I would much rather be in yoga pants all day. Which make works tough.

Stretch Marks?
Dun dun duuuuuun. I found a couple on my sides. Nothing major and I’m trying to slather myself up to prevent anymore, but if that’s the worst that happens, I’m OK with that. I know they will probably get worse, but let me live in denial for a while.

Dude is crazy. I think he’s running out of room in there though because he always seems to be wiggling. Like he’s trying to get cozy, but can’t find a comfortable spot.

Food cravings?
I’ve been doing SO well eating better. I cut out the ice cream. It was too much. I’ve been having a smoothie when I get home from work to hold me over until dinner. Some days I’m hungrier than others, which is fine. I’m just trying to make better choices. Cereal in the morning instead of pancakes of Dunkin Donuts. I’ve been bringing my lunch more often, and when I don’t I’ve been trying to make healthy choices. I bought a whole bunch of fruit. On Sunday, I wanted a sweet snack so I mashed a banana up a bit with mini chocolate chips. Umm… delish.

Nausea, vomiting, or sickness?
Feeling fine for the most part. Minus the whole breathing thing. I upped my inhaler which seems to have helped, but it is still a bit difficult. Especially when I change positions. It seems like I need to wait for everything to move and settle to get pressure off my lungs and then I’m OK.

What I miss:
Wine. Italian subs. Sleeping on my stomach. Not being tired. A waist line. Being able to put my shoes on without a struggle. Getting up from the couch without grunting. Not feeling like a poltergeist is going to rip through my belly button. Being able to do more than one thing in a day. NOT getting tired at 7:30 at night.

Like I said before, the whole breathing thing is a beast. Sleep doesn’t suck completely. Some nights are still better than others. I was up a few times last night. Just uncomfortable. I woke up gasping a little so I wonder if I was having trouble breathing. Also, I’m a furnace. Seriously, thank GOD it is the Winter because I would not be able to survive the Summer.

Best moment this week?
Seeing C at her Baby Shower and chatting about how our boys are going to be BFFs!

Oh man. I had such high hopes for this one. But alas, no. I tried to do squats the other day. My legs felt tight and I thought it might stretch them out a bit. Oh man. You would have thought I just want a marathon. I can’t wait to get back into shape!


See above. Some nights are good. Some blow. Some days I feel great. Some days (like today) I feel like I got hit by a train. And everyone keeps asking why I look so “tired”. Umm… I’m 8 months pregnant. My go to feeling is tired. Then I’m told to “get my sleep now”. Oh, OK, you tell me how comfortably YOU sleep when you’re as big as a house! End scene.

What I'm looking forward to?
My baby shower in Saturday! I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. Big A and I are supposed to organize the furniture in the baby’s room tonight. We have my birthday dinner at my favorite restaurant tomorrow (we wait until the holidays die down to go). My rocking chair arrives on Friday! And I have another appointment on Friday. It’s a BIG week! Haha.
Please ignore the harshness of my face. I asked Big A to come in and take my picture and 10 minutes later he found me passed out on the couch with my scarf over my face. Sooo... yeah.

Linking up with Kristen over at Mama and Mou!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Friday's Letters

This week was a long one. I think last week went by so fast, even though it was the first full week back, that I just expected this one to fly too.

And it didn't.

But here we all are. We made it.

I've got a fun filled weekend planned. I have a Baby Shower that I'm helping to host tomorrow for a good friend of mine. And Sunday we have the big Patriots game.

Big weekend. I'm going to need to plan some naps.

 Now... here we go with Friday's Letters.

Dear Self, you might have finally figured it all out. Removable layers and sneakers are FAR more pregnancy friendly than sweaters and Uggs. This whole dying of heat exhaustion and cankles thing doesn't look good on anyone. If these people at work INSIST on turning the thermostat up to 78, then you're just going to have to deal with it on your own. You can't fight stupid.

Dear Big A, you are being so good about my narcoleptic tendencies. You either come to bed with me early, quietly watch TV, or sneak into the room when you are ready to come to bed. I greatly appreciate it, especially since existing past 9:00 PM is getting more difficult by the day. Thanks for being so awesome Boo!

Dear Mr. Fresh, I understand that in the morning you get SUPER excited that I'm up and that you are getting to go outside. So you run all around me and stop right in front of me, and create this little doggie obstacle course before I can rub my eyes open. However, when we move upstairs, there's about one foot of hallway and...umm... STAIRS. Plus, add in a baby too. You need to slow your roll and act like a gentleman. We don't all need to break our necks falling down the stairs in the morning. Kapeesh?

Dear Baby P, you are making me quite uncomfortable and I am slowly losing my mind. Could you please take it easy on your dear old Mom? We have a good amount of weeks left together as one and I need us to survive them and not accidentally walk off a cliff or something.

Dear Rings, oh how I miss you. But I can't chance you getting stuck again at work where the temperature is 8,000 degrees. We will be back again some day.

Dear IT, your ban on blogs has really put a damper in my days. I just wanted to let you know that you are ruining my life.

Dear Self, I'm pretty impressed at your eating this week. You weren't perfect, but you definitely made a conscience effort to be good. I'm sure you still gained 27 pounds this week, but at least you can tell the doctor that you tried. Minus  the calzone on Tuesday and the burger last night. Other than that... you did wonderful!

Dear Weather App, you do not need to notify me of "cloudy conditions" with the same severity as you do with say a Winter Storm, a Hurricane, the Apocalypse, etc. Let's fix that when you make your changes next time around.

Dear Guy at the Hospital Tour who REEKED of Weed, leave it at home next time dude. I mean, the hospital is no place for the gange. Especially the MATERNITY ward. I'm pretty sure we all got a contact high off your stench. Although, you did give me quite the giggle, so thanks for that.

Dear Woman who was Conducting the Hospital Tour, next time you tell a group of pregnant ladies that you will probably be seeing some of them far sooner than others, try not to look directly AT any of them (ahem, me!). For all you know, I'm 6 months along and you just gave me a major fat complex. I'm not... and you were probably right... but you don't know that!

I hope that everyone has an absolutely fabulous weekend. If you're not on the sober train, make sure you drink one for me and my Patriots. Hopefully, I'll be back to talk about a big "W"!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Another Baby P Update: Hospital Tour

Last night Big A and I took a tour of the maternity unit at the hospital that I will be delivering at.

We aren't all together too familiar with this hospital, as we have only been there twice before and they were both pregnancy related trips, so I thought it would be a good idea to get the lay of the land. Plus, I really wanted to see where to go and what to expect when we get there.

I haven't been huge into taking classes or anything. I'm not feeling unprepared or nervous about anything so I think it would just be a waste of time and money. BUT, it was important for me to see the hospital and to take a CPR/First Aid class (which we have on the 30th).

The hospital is a bit of a drive, especially since we have two pretty close to our house and a third that's probably about the same distance, but more convenient. However, this is the hospital that my doctor's office chooses to deliver at.

During our first pregnancy we were adamant about switching doctors to a closer hospital. We were waiting to see my doctor for the first time (which should have been at 10 weeks) but we never got that far. After the AMAZING treatment that we got after our loss, I knew that we were in good hands. Big A and I decided that was more important than driving distance.

We arrived at the hospital and hung out in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before the woman came out to get us. There were about five or six other couples there as well, and all the women seemed to be all over the place with how far along they were.

The tour was about 45 minutes long, which was perfect, and we got to see where we would go when we first got there, what room we would be monitored in, a labor & delivery room, and then a regular post-partum hospital room.

I loved that all of the rooms were private. The only thing that you shared was in the observation room where two rooms were connected to one bathroom. That's it. The rest of the rooms are private. You share nothing. Which is perfect. I was worried about being a brand new Mom, tired and stressed, and getting roomed with some whack job. I wasn't going to be too happy about that.

I also loved that most of the rooms have jacuzzi tubs in the bathrooms. There are three (I think) rooms that have showers and it is a first come first serve basis, but I totally hope that I end up in a room with a tub (which means I won't). I don't know if I would plan on using a tub, since being large, naked, and wet while laboring doesn't sound like a whole bunch of fun. BUT, who knows, it might be just what I need.

The hospital is very big on what is best for Mom and baby, which made me feel 1,000 times better. They said that their main goal is to get as much skin to skin contact as possible, which is one of the few things that I'm big on doing. I don't care about what kind of delivery I have, I'm all about the epidural (I'm no one's hero, I know that natural works for some people, but I also know that I'm a raging bitch when I'm uncomfortable and I don't need my son brought into a world where Mommy shows him how much of a psychopath she really is up front... let's wait for the teenage years for that), I plan to just let the doctors and nurses guide me through what they think is best and go with my instincts. However, I want that tiny, squishy baby ASAP and I want him in my arms. THAT I'm big on.

That's a huge concern for me since Bugsy Boy is breech and there's a possibility of a c-section in my future. I know that it limits the chances of skin to skin contact, at least right away. But, this makes me feel more comfortable that they are going to make sure that they do everything they can to make it happen as soon as possible.

I was a bit concerned about their visiting hours because they seemed kind of strict. They said they were from 11 AM to 2 PM and 4 PM to 8 PM. The hours of 2 PM to 4 PM are called "quiet hours" and no visitors outside of the dad/support person are allowed. Which I totally understood. But the rest of the hours seemed a bit much. Especially since almost everyone I know delivered at another hospital (closer to us) and it was pretty much an open door policy. The women told us that the visiting hours were whenever, just not during the quiet time. Which made me happy. They also said that during labor they will quietly consult you before letting any visitors in to make sure that it is OK with you.                                                                                                                                                                                      Which is great since a friend of mine went through an experience where a random friend of hers and her boyfriend showed up while she was in labor. As in, here is Friend A with her husband, in labor, in the hospital. Friend B shows up, with her BOYFRIEND, and wants to hang out. Umm... no. I mean, I know that none of my friends are weird enough to do that, but still. No.

Another great thing about the hospital is that you are always designated a nurse. While in labor and post partum, you have ONE nurse assigned to you (obviously this switches with shifts and such, but one shift, one nurse) the whole time. I didn't want a whole bunch of random people in and out of the rooms not knowing what someone else is doing. So this was great.

The only thing about the tour was that I didn't get to see where we would be going if I got a c-section. I mean, obviously they couldn't bring us into an operating room. But it would have been nice to peek.

I feel even more comfortable with our hospital choice now. I just can't wait for the time to get here. It was a little emotional thinking that the next time we are there it will be to have a baby. Eek!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Bumpdate: 30 Weeks

January 7th - 13th, 2014
So what has been going on this week?
Started our biweekly appointments. Learned our Baby Boy is breech (I talked about it in my update here). Started to attempt to get control of my eating habits. (I talked about that here).

How far along?
30 Weeks.

Maternity Clothes?
Yeah. I can still wear some no-maternity tank tops and sweaters, but for the most part, I’m in it to win it.

Stretch Marks?
I thought I saw a couple on my stomach, but haven't seen them again. I'm getting a little nervous now.

I'm a human recliner. His head is up under my right ribs and his feet are down by my left hip. I can feel tiny movements under my left ribs and around my right hip so I feel like he is LEGIT stretched out to the max. And he's wiggling all the time. I just watched him for almost two hours on Sunday, just moving. It's wild.

Food cravings?
I'm attempting to kick my Ben & Jerry's habit, slowly but surely. I'm a week clean so far. I've replaced it with fruit & spinach smoothies and so far I don't really care. As long as it is sweet and cold I don't really care what form it is or what it is made out of!

Nausea, vomiting, or sickness?
Feeling a lot better from my cold. Still a little stuffy here and there, but I've been like that almost the entire time.

What I miss:
Wine. Italian subs. Sleeping on my stomach. Not being tired. A waist line. Being able to put my shoes on without a struggle. Getting up from the couch without grunting. Not feeling like a poltergeist is going to rip through my belly button. Being able to do more than one thing in a day.

Sore. Just sore. My back hurts. My legs hurt. My knees hurt. My butt hurts. I'm just a hot mess. Haha. It's just the end of the day though. I do alright until about 3:00, then it's all downhill from there.

Best moment this week?
Learning that we are going to get another ultrasound at 36/37 weeks. I was hoping that we would get another one, but I didn't wish for it because I thought that it would mean that something was wrong or that they were concerned about him. BUT, this is the perfect scenario. They just want to check to see if he is still breech. Can't wait to see him again!

Blah blah blah.


Oh sleep. Hit or miss. I sound like a broken record. Some nights aren't so great. Some nights I wake up and my alarm is going off and I slept the whole night and I feel AMAZING! I haven't had too many SUCKY nights lately (knock on wood).

What I'm looking forward to?
Our ultrasound. I can't wait. I want to see his cute little face. PLUS, it will mean that his due date will almost be here and we all know that I can't wait for that. Haha. I have one of my best friend's baby shower this weekend that I am helping to throw and then mine is next week! Things are BUSY BUSY!!!

Linking up with Kristin over at Mama and Mou!