Wednesday, January 22, 2014

It Ain't All Rainbows and Butterflies

I've decided that I'm no longer talking about how I'm sleeping during my bumpdates.

Seriously.

I swear that as soon as I say that things don't suck in that department, all hell breaks lose. 

Last night was terrible. TERRIBLE.

I woke up with horrible back pain. I couldn't get comfortable. Everything hurt. I had trouble breathing. It was horrible.

I felt bad that I kept waking Big A up since I knew he had to get up early to go plowing. I tried to stay still, but it was excruciating. So I would switch positions and then it would be tough to breathe while everything "settled". And then I would have to go to the bathroom.

It sucked.

At about 3:00 AM I went out onto the couch. By this time the dog was wide awake too. He had been coming into the bedroom, pacing near my side of the bed, and then followed me out into the bedroom. I wondered if this was pre-term labor and he was freaking out. That's how bad the pain was. But they said the back labor would feel like it came in "waves" and it was just constant, so I threw that out the window. It was just so nerve-wracking, I was nervous something was wrong.

Turns out that I just kept waking him up to the point that he was probably like, "what the hell is wrong with you lady". 

I went out onto the couch and tried to get comfortable, but the dog was all up in my face, and the heaters were making noise, and then the fridge kicked on, and then 12,000 plow trucks and sanders went by. I just cried. I wondered how I was going to get through this. When would the pain stop? Would I ever sleep again? I just wondered how I was going to make it through the next 8 weeks. So I cried.

By this time the baby was wide awake too, so Baby P was bumping all around which didn't help sleep either.

Luckily, due to the impending snow I brought my laptop home (sans power cord, ugh) so I could work from home today. The snow wasn't that bad, but I texted my boss and told him I wasn't feeling well and I was working from home today. My maternity leave comes out of my sick time and I'm taking some vacation time to stay home longer, so I really can't take any time OFF. I'll still have about 6 months left in the year by the time I'm back from maternity leave so I need to save some time off so we can still go on our vacation to Martha's Vineyard, or have some back up in case I need time off for something.

Honestly, I know I'm so lucky because I have 4 weeks vacation, but this year it doesn't seem like enough. So, I'm a little nervous about how the next 8 weeks are going to go when I don't have the option to stay home if I need to. 

Ugh.

I know that I haven't been all "rainbows and butterflies" at ALL during this pregnancy. It's no secret that this has not been my most favorite thing in the world. Pregnancy isn't my thing. Super excited about the squishy baby, NOT loving this whole body takeover thing. 

But today?

Today pregnancy sucks.

Sucks.

I know that I should be grateful that I have been having a relatively uneventful pregnancy. That I'm healthy and my son is healthy and that I'm almost done. I KNOW this.

But it is EXHAUSTING being uncomfortable all the time. Being in pain. Not sleeping. And it is wearing on me. Hard.

So, today it sucks. Today I hate it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. There's nothing like a good night's sleep to give you rose colored glasses.

And if not... then I have 7 weeks and 6 days... I'm sure I can survive that.

I hope. 

4 comments:

  1. Oh yuck...Poor you! I hope you get some sleep! Sleep is so important to make you feel half normal during pregnancy...which is really like 1/4 normal because most of the time you don't feel like yourself anyways!

    TRY and get some rest! I hope the next 7 weeks FLY by! xo

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  2. Yay for working from home! (us too). Sorry you had a rough night...the best remedy for that is some doggy snoogz.

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  3. What happened to your body pillow? Does that not help with getting comfortable anymore? That really sucks that you had such a rough night with so much pain. :( Sleep is HUGE for me (truthfully the one reason I was scared to have a baby). I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights to come.
    FOUR WEEKS VACATION???!! I am jealous!! I have 2 weeks and if I want a paycheck during my maternity leave I have to take time from that 2 weeks. It SUCKS!

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  4. Yeah sleeping for me sucked during pregnancy and really continued to suck even afterwards. Welcome to motherhood.

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