Friday, March 7, 2014

Derailment

Let's chat for a minute.

Topic?

Women.

Yeah, I know. This one is a loaded gun, huh?

Sometimes (most of the time) I don't get women. And their need to sabotage or put down other women to make themselves feel better. Or the back-handed compliments.

Really?

Hasn't anyone heard of the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all?"

No?

Me neither.

Which is why I'm going to continue this post.

The thing that sparked this post was an incident that happened between my mom and her whack job of a boss. Seriously, you should hear about this woman. She's fucking insane. Honestly, I don't know how my mother does it. I like to think that it is because she honestly tries to find the good in people, even when there really isn't any. While I'll just give up and be an asshole to your face, my mom is a much nicer person and will be all sorts of sweetness and light to you and then complain to me later. And then feel bad about complaining. And make even more of an effort to be nice to you the next time she sees you.

She's a much nicer person than I am. Honestly, I'm MILES away from her on the asshole scale. MILES.

Anywho...

My mother, who is a freaking rockstar at life, has decided to start eating healthier to get into better shape. We have been down this road together before and it is awesome when we can do it together. However, I decided to go ahead and get all Mammoth on her, so she's doing this trek alone.

She informed said boss that she was doing this. Now, one downfall of my super nice Mother is that in her attempt to bond with this crazy MF, she shares FAR too much about herself. The people at work that I don't particularly like (with the exception of a few I DO like and I just hadn't seen in awhile) didn't know I was pregnant until I was almost 7 months. There was a woman who JUST questioned me on it. If I don't like you, I will not share personal information with you, even obvious information like that fact that no, I'm not just becoming a Mammoth for no reason, I am growing a small spawn of Satan child.

Monday morning, my mother walks in all bright eyes and bushy tailed ready to start her new plan. And what does that crazy MF do? She brings in cake and then complains when my mom doesn't eat it. She's offended that my mother doesn't want any of her cake, knowing fully well that my mom is trying to be healthier (for the record, it wasn't even a type of cake that my mom would have wanted anyway).

She pulls this bullshit because she knows that if my mother fails, she gets to tell her all of the things she is doing wrong in her life and then use it to catapult into some conversation about how amazing SHE is and how she doesn't need to worry about what she eats or does because she is so amazing/loves the way she looks/is comfortable in her body/random bullshit she comes up with to try to make my mom feel like shit.

Luckily, my mother is smart woman and knows her plan. But still, it's fucking annoying.

Day Two... crazy MF takes my mom's lunch and scrutinizes the ingredients, wondering how it is better for her than "normal food". Hmm... I'll answer this one... "because you see, the ingredients in this food are more well rounded and it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS".

My mom is kicking ass and taking names. She doesn't need this crazy MF to come along and try and sabotage her or knock down her choices in life. And the only reason that this woman does this is because she is INCREDIBLY insecure when it comes to my mom. And why wouldn't she? My mom is smart, beautiful (she's legit a blonde bombshell), and more than capable of taking over the world (with my help, of course). And this woman? A needy, insecure, frumpy woman who feigns intellect and skill by delegating all of her real responsibilities to her employees while she spends all of her time talking about amazing she is and how they couldn't live without her.

Why?

I guess I just don't understand the competition.

That's why things are hard at my job. For the most part, the people I work with have kids older than me. It makes for a fun day. But, every so often there's some young girl who comes strolling in, thinking she's going go take over the world.

For the record: I was that girl. I was going places.

And all of a sudden, there's this competition. There's no friendship formed. We are now in direct competition to be the next big thing in the company. A lot of the times where these girls are located make them a better candidate for these bigger jobs. It's annoying, but I know that this is my own fault. I refuse to move and I refuse to drive over an hour to work every day. It just isn't worth it to me.

Plus, how would I blog if I was a big shot?

I mean, it's a little annoying to be sitting her as an Executive Assistant and watch some girl that I hired over a year after I started working here as someone else's assistant, being promoted to a Manager, making six figures a year. But that's my own fault.

I'm getting off topic here.

I guess I just don't understand why, we as women, don't work together more. Lift each other up more. Why are we constantly looking to compete and push each other down?

It goes with every aspect of life.

I mean.. the whole Mommy War thing. I've already experienced it. Snooty Moms giving me their two cents about what I'm already doing wrong with my child. I shouldn't need bottles because I should be exclusively breastfeeding like them (umm... eventually I need to go back to work, I think they frown upon me bringing my baby and nursing him during meetings with the CEO). Or my car seat is in the wrong spot and if space is a problem I should just sell my car and just get a bigger one (Bitch, my Tahoe is a TANK, what would you like me to get?). Sometimes I think that these things come from a good place (maybe?) but they really just come off as judgmental. Like they want me to know that they know WAY more than me, so obviously they are a better Mom.

I'm not about that.

I'm not in competition with anyone (despite some people's delusional thoughts). I'm in this life for me. I don't compare myself to others. I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I'm not trying to put other people down to look better or to feel better about myself. I'm just here.

So why the derailment? Why do we, as women, feel the need to derail our fellow "sisters" in order to feel better about ourselves?

6 comments:

  1. Your mom's boss sounds like a nightmare. It's all insecurity and that blows. I'm glad your mom is taking the high road and not letting it affect her. Also, I get the competition at the job. Some girl who was fresh out of college got hired here (entry level) and is now and Ops MANAGER and got promoted 3x in less than 6 months. All because her daddy is a bigwig at one of our clients. Oh, she also has a theatre degree. I'll let that sink in.

    It's infuriating.

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  2. The mommy wars thing kills me but part of it is because if someone offers a suggestion or advice it's immediately seen as being rude, just look at peoples instagram comments. I once commented on someones picture about their kids carseat and I didn't do it to be mean or snarky in anyway but because she was a first time mom and as a first time mom may not have known and as a first time mom myself I like getting advice or suggestions (in a nice way) since God knows that I don't know everything. So while I don't think people should be mean I also don't think people should be overly sensitive if something is coming from a good place.

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  3. Wow your mom's boss sounds like a disaster to work with everyday. I'm sure your mom has enough stress with work, but add in her BOSS being extremely unprofessional and rude to her employees. That's really messed up. That breaks my heart that your mom is so sweet and brushes off the rudeness yet that awful woman continues to be a pain to her. Sounds like boss lady needs a reality check. Who the hell does she think she is treating people like that???!

    I agree with you. I don't understand why women are in constant competition with one another. Things like Pinterest I feel have a bit to blame for that. If your party or dessert isn't Pinterest pretty then you have failed as a woman.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your mom's boss sounds like alot of the bosses I've had. esp if it's a male boss. I dont think i've ever had a female boss ever. which is odd sounding. but we as women shouldn't let people even if they are our boss to treat us like shit. screw em.

    Would love for you to come join my hop @ http://hotpinkowl02.blogspot.com/2014/03/blog-hop-2014.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. I ask myself this question all the time. I don't know why this happens either. But it is frustrating as F***!

    And your Mom's boss sounds like a biatch! Holy shiz. Good for your Mom sticking to her guns though. Your Mom sounds like a bad ass, but that doesn't really surprise me because she is your Mom after all.

    And screw those people trying to already tell you what to do with your kid. It's your kid. You will do whatever you want and make the decisions that you think are best for you and your kid and your family.

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  6. We should never put down anyone. doesn't matter if they are male or female.

    I mean, why would a boss make an employee feel like this. I mean, honestly....wtf? What kind of boss does that? One with a huge issue that's who. I guess if your mom isnt gonna quit. She needs to sit down and pray bout this whole issue.

    Just letting you know I'm following you on GFC. Would love a follow back. Have a great week.

    http://hotpinkowl02.blogspot.com/2014/03/blog-hop-2014.html

    ReplyDelete

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